Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
As promised, he called every evening. He used FaceTime with Delfina, ignoring Lilly as best he could, even though she was always sitting next to her – presumably so Delfina would feel more comfortable – and he made an effort to be friendly to her too, which, annoyingly, grew easier every day.
It was hard to be actively angry at a woman who had given him a whole apology speech… and was so obviously exhausted.
Lilly fell asleep during half of his FaceTime calls and, for the other half, appeared sweaty, dirty, and always slightly rushed, as if she hadn’t had time to shower, let alone think about getting dressed up for his calls.
He remembered how Christine had gone to bed with her makeup on.
Back then, he’d never considered how insecure she’d been and how much she’d done to please him, even though he didn’t need any of it.
But back then, he’d been head over heels in love with her, using her as an anchor for years following his parents’ death, she using him as a stepping stone to pursue her dreams.
Lilly… She didn’t need an anchor. She always seemed to be on top of everything.
And, shit, she was possibly the only person more patient than he was.
Or maybe she was just more stubborn. When he used FaceTime to talk to his daughter and, for example, waited for Del to finish brushing her teeth but didn’t feel like making small talk with Lilly, he just stared at her defiantly and remained silent.
He wanted her to feel uncomfortable. To be a little annoyed with him.
To be a little angry with him. To feel a little of what he felt.
But she didn’t give him that satisfaction, as if she knew exactly what he was doing — and she didn’t want him to win.
Instead of getting upset or filling the silence with nervous words, she just smiled noncommittally while staring into the camera, saying nothing.
But she used other means to communicate clearly.
She scratched her nose with her middle finger, walked around with her phone, and captured the most charming places on camera: the open garbage can.
The toilet bowl. The shower drain. The sink where Delfina spat out the toothpaste.
It was as if she wanted to give him visual clues about what she thought of his behavior.
By God, Austin had to fight back laughter when she accidentally showed him a pile of droppings from a goat that apparently lived in front of their house and whispered, “Oops, someone else is producing crap. I hope this doesn’t remind you of your game earlier. ”
“Are you suddenly a hockey fan, or do you just like watching me, specifically?” he had replied, feigning nonchalance.
“Delfina wanted to watch. I’m quoting her because she asked, Do you think my dad’s embarrassed that everyone saw that he didn’t even score one goal?”
He was, but the fact that she called him my dad and not Mr. Fox made up for it. God, they’d lost so badly that Coach Gray had punished them all with a shake of his head while only saying, "Disappointing." He couldn’t have done anything worse.
“I’ll get over the disgrace.”
“Are you certain? You looked furious during the interview.”
“Because Temple and Alvarez racked up dozens of unnecessary penalties again after betting in the locker room on who would score the most goals!” he’d fumed, unable to remain calm.
Lilly had smiled broadly as if she’d just won a game he’d unknowingly participated in, and looked into the camera, asking, “Did any of them bet on the other team?”
He’d almost laughed again. Almost. Unfortunately, Lilly noticed.
“Come on, Austin, I’m not the devil. No lightning will strike you if you smile at what I say.” Her whisper was almost lost in Delfina’s cry, “I’m done, Mom!” but he heard it.
Just as he felt the goosebumps creeping down his spine from her deep, conspiratorial, slightly raspy voice.
From the pitch of her voice, the timbre of it, her laugh, her saying Come on, Austin…
and the fact that he hadn’t had sex in a year and a half, and she was confusing his traitorous body, which had a damn good memory!
But he ignored it. He ignored anything to do with Lilly. Instead, he focused entirely on his daughter.
Lilly was right. Delfina was tough and loud and liked to crack jokes.
Even so, she talked about very little during the first two calls.
But whenever Lilly sat next to her during a FaceTime call, who brought up topics that were clearly important to Del – like swimming, sea turtles, Lucky Charms and cereal in general, LEGO, dragonflies (especially the blue ones), and the proper and safe handling of fire – she talked a mile a minute with such lively, sweeping gestures that Lilly joked it was obvious she’d grown up in Italy.
It was the hundredth time he’d stopped himself from smiling and he still wasn’t going to give her that satisfaction yet.
Although he supposed he should be…well, grateful to her for making Del feel as comfortable as possible around him and encouraging her to share more of her life.
She sent photos, let Del record voice messages on her phone, and made an effort to be kind and accommodating.
Just like she promised when she apologized.
God, the apology. It was a dangerous balancing act, thinking about it for too long.
He’d had this strange urge…to believe her.
She’d seemed so sincere and honest and, yes, the tears had convinced him.
But he knew himself. It was his job as captain, after all, to make sure everyone was okay, that everyone was treated fairly, and that everyone knew they were allowed to make mistakes.
He was too damn gullible! He wanted to see the good in everyone…
but what the hell had it ever gotten him?
He hadn’t wanted to feel sorry for Lilly!
He hadn’t wanted to see how ridiculously exhausted she’d looked after the game on Thursday.
He hadn’t wanted to feel the absurd urge to stroke her cheek and tell her everything would be all right.
He wanted to keep his distance. He’d lost too much in his life, and she…
she’d been dangerous to him back then, and she still was.
So he was tense when the doorbell rang the following week.
“Fox, I understand you’re angry, but she’s the mother of your child! She’ll always be a part of your life and hers. You have to get over it, okay? So…chill today,” Moreau murmured beside him.
Lilly would always be a part of his life.
The thought stirred something heavy and hot in his chest, but he ignored the feeling.
He simply nodded and walked to the door.
Luckily, he had backup. Devreaux was living with him, and Moreau, Anna, and their daughter Melody had been so curious about Lilly and Delfina that he’d invited them to come over. He hoped they would make the evening a little less tense, but when Lilly walked in, that hope faded.
Her scent of embers, sea salt, and warm woman wafted in with her, and his stomach clenched.
She wore jeans and a thin turquoise hoodie that made her gray eyes look almost blue.
Her fair hair fell loosely over her shoulders.
She wasn’t wearing makeup again, her shoes were worn, and her face was flushed from either the wind or sun.
She was, as Leon had noticed, normal.
Objectively speaking, he knew that. Objectively, he shouldn’t even be able to smell her!
Yet nothing about his horribly subjective reaction to her – the way his mouth went dry, his stomach muscles contracted, his gaze lingering on her jeans clinging to her hips – felt normal.
And he hated it.
He hadn’t felt even the slightest bit attracted to any woman in a year and a half and he really didn’t need this physical reaction to this particular woman.
“Hey,” she said in a friendly tone…and smiled.
Fuck, she had to stop doing that.
“Hello,” he replied a bit more brusquely than intended, before abruptly turning from her to greet Delfina.
Uncertainly, she glanced back and forth between them once before she lightly wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a quick hug, as if she wasn’t sure whether she was allowed to or not.
“Hi,” she said, and her broad grin was more than welcome. “You guys were really bad in that one game. That was funny.”
He laughed. “We were having an off day. But that happens to everyone; we were all a bit unfocused.”
“All of us?” Moreau echoed incredulously from behind him.
“It’s a team sport, Lucas,” his girlfriend Anna, their team doctor, reminded him, who came out of the living room with Melody in tow. “If one of you loses, you all lose.”
“No way. Your brother is to blame, and he knows it! I hope Dax is ashamed of himself.”
“That’s not nice, blaming other people,” Delfina said, her eyes wide. “When I lose a relay match in swimming, we’re all sad, so we comfort each other.”
“And that’s a good thing,” Austin replied, agreeing with his daughter and smiling broadly. “Moreau, maybe you should go comfort Dax.”
“That’s what the jerk’s girlfriend is for.”
“Daddy, don’t swear!” Melody reminded him, shocked.
Moreau frowned. “Jerk is a bad word?”
“Yes!” Melody and Delfina agreed.
Melody giggled. Delfina was a few years older than Melody, which was why Moreau’s daughter was looking at her with wide, admiring eyes. Del seemed flattered because she proudly said, “Hi, I’m Delfina.”
Melody merely nodded and leaned against Anna’s leg.
“This is Melody,” Anna said, helping her out. “Since your dad and her dad are practically brothers, she could be your cousin.”
“Really? I’ve never had a cousin. Mom’s an only child,” Delfina said.
As if Lilly had been waiting for her cue, she hesitantly raised her hand. “Hey, I’m Lilly.”
“Nice to meet you,” Anna said, smiling, and extended her hand. “You’ve already met Lucas?” She nodded to Moreau.
“Yes. Hey, Serial Killer,” Lilly said cordially.