Chapter Twenty-Four Eliott
DANE
leaving the airbnb now
ELIOTT
Nice. I’m just finishing packing and then I’ll head to the station.
DANE
:)
cool
cant wait to see you
My stomach does a weird little flip as I read and then reread Dane’s last message to me.
Can’t wait to see you.
Anticipation thrums through my entire body like an electrical current. There’s an unspoken expectation of what’s going to happen between us on this trip and, for the first time, the thought of it isn’t making me sick with nerves.
Dane and I are going to fuck.
I’m not putting any expectations on it. This will be nothing like our first attempt, when I put too much pressure on both myself and him to perform.
To give me an orgasm.
My first.
This time I’m just going to go along with the ride and enjoy the rollercoaster that is Dane Clarke. Orgasm or no orgasm, we can still have fun.
I keep telling myself that as I grab my toy and stuff it into my suitcase, tactically burying it beneath a mound of clothes.
Sasha’s splayed across my bed, her long legs dangling off the edge as she watches me pack. A smug grin splits her face in two. ‘Feel free to admit I was right, by the way.’
‘Right about what?’
‘Dane,’ she says simply. ‘You guys are definitely going to fuck on this trip.’ She slides off the bed suddenly and comes to sit beside me on the floor. ‘Took you two and a half years, but you two are right back at square one.’
She’s not wrong, but it’s going to be different this time. It has to be.
‘Maybe we will, maybe we won’t,’ I shrug.
‘Holy shit.’ Sasha leans back onto her haunches. ‘You like him.’
‘Wasn’t that already known?’
‘No, no, no.’ She wags a finger in my face. ‘I don’t know what you were thinking about just now, but you got this look on your face. And it wasn’t your normal “ Dane is hot and I’m horny ” look—’
‘I don’t—’
‘It went all soft.’ She leans in and gives my thigh a squeeze. ‘Like Wes’s face whenever he looks at me. Eliott? You. Like. Him.’
I know what she’s implying. There’s an unspoken weight in her words and the implication is as clear as day.
You. Love. Him.
I groan and bury my face in my hands. ‘I think I do.’
Sasha frowns. ‘That’s a good thing, no?’
‘It’s…’ I trail off and settle for giving her a sad little shrug. ‘It’s definitely something.’
Sasha sits upright. Any trace of teasing or smugness on her face is gone. ‘I don’t get it. You like Dane. Dane definitely likes you. What’s the problem?’
‘He’s not a long-term kind of guy,’ I explain bitterly. ‘He doesn’t do relationships or love, or anything like that.’
‘People can change, babe.’ She gives me a gentle nudge with her knee. ‘For the right person.’
Why does that sound familiar?
I shake off the creeping sense of déjà vu and force a nonchalant smile. ‘That person probably isn’t me.’
Sasha’s jaw ticks for a moment. There’s something on the tip of her tongue, something she desperately wants to get out, but she changes her mind at the last second. ‘Whatever you say, babe,’ she says, barely concealing a small smile. ‘Whatever you say.’
I spot Bailey and Amber almost as soon as I roll my suitcase into St Pancras station. They’re standing by our departure gate with several of their own suitcases stacked up beside them, both wearing comfortable oversized sweatshirts that have #Team-Bride written across the front.
Bailey’s face, already bright and grinning, lights up as soon as she notices me.
‘ Eliott !’ she cries, once again giving me the old friend treatment instead of treating me like someone she barely knows. She pulls me into a quick, but no less tight, hug. ‘Oh my god. It feels real now. Really real.’
I can’t help but laugh a little. ‘Glad I could help.’
‘It’s just us getting the train,’ Bailey explains as we swipe our tickets against the barriers and start making our way to our seats. ‘Everyone else is flying in. Except the guys. We’re meeting Cash and them in Paris, and then we’ll get the train together the rest of the way.’
‘Cool,’ I say, hoping I sound neutral. Like I don’t know what the plan is already, and that Dane hasn’t been casually updating me on their journey for the last three hours.
I get a pleasant surprise when we search for our seats and discover that Finn’s upgrade didn’t just extend to the guys. We’re all seated in first-class and Bailey and Amber have a cushy four-person seater while I’ve got a row all to myself a few seats down.
‘Come sit with us,’ Amber says when she spots me trying to shuffle down the aisle. ‘I mean, don’t feel like you have to, but we’ve got the extra seats spare.’
‘Yeah, come on,’ Bailey says. She’s already planted in her seat and is digging a bottle of Prosecco out of her bag. ‘You can help me with this since—’ She cuts herself off abruptly and shoots Amber an apologetic grimace.
A silent conversation plays out between the two of them, spoken only in tiny gestures and the occasional raise of the brow. It ends with Amber shrugging lightly and Bailey exhaling a small sigh of relief before she turns her attention back to me.
‘Your choice,’ she says. ‘Just know that you are very, very welcome.’
I’d typically decline an offer like this – I’m here on business.
Bailey is my client, and it’s important I keep up at least some pretence of professionalism.
But I like Bailey. Amber too. They remind me of Sasha and myself and it’s easy to forget that she’s paying me to be here and we’re not actually longtime friends.
‘Are you sure?’ I ask.
‘One thousand per cent,’ Bailey laughs. She fishes out two plastic wine glasses from her bag and wastes no time in pouring me a healthy amount of Prosecco. ‘Let’s go!’
I slide into the empty seat next to Amber and reach for my glass.
‘Did Dane end up using his plus one?’ Amber asks suddenly.
I choke on my drink and glance up at the exact same time Bailey’s gaze comes up to meet mine. She holds it for a second or two and I have to wonder if I’m imagining the way her lips twitch ever so slightly.
‘No,’ she says after what feels like an eternity. ‘He didn’t bother in the end.’
Amber hums contemplatively. ‘How very un-Dane like.’
Bailey drops her mouth into her palm, hiding an obvious laugh. ‘Hm. I guess.’
Does she know? It seems like she knows, but maybe I’m being paranoid.
‘How long have you and Finn been together?’ I ask suddenly, desperate to get the conversation off Dane.
Amber smiles softly at the mention of her boyfriend. ‘Coming up to three years now.’
‘How’d you guys meet?’
She laughs and her hand comes up to rest idly on her stomach. ‘It’s a long story.’
‘He was her client ,’ Bailey purrs, seemingly delighted to tell this story. ‘And it was love at first sight.’
Amber snorts. ‘It absolutely was not.’
‘For Finn it was,’ Bailey says with a sage nod. ‘He just didn’t know it at the time.’
‘What about you?’ Amber turns to me. ‘Are you seeing anyone?’
There it is again. An almost imperceptible twitch of Bailey’s lips.
‘No,’ I say. ‘Not officially, anyway.’
‘Ah,’ Amber nods in understanding. ‘It’s one of those.’
‘One of what?’
‘When you both know there’s something there, but you’re too afraid to say it out loud in case it ruins everything?’
I blink over at her. ‘I— I guess?’
Her smile turns sympathetic. ‘It’ll work out.’
‘I’m not so sure,’ I say. ‘But I’m fine. I’m okay with that.’
Bailey shakes her head. ‘Take it from someone who didn’t realise what was in front of her until it almost blew up in her face. It will work out. You just have to want it to.’
The train jerks forward suddenly and we start peeling out of the station. As I watch the landscape around us turn into a nondescript blur, I realise something.
I do want it to work out.
I really, really do.