22. Chapter 22
Ceth stirred awake, arm reaching toward the other side of the bed before she was fully conscious, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. But when her hand only found empty sheets, her eyes popped open.
Krystal wasn’t in bed. The sight of the rumpled covers with no gorgeous woman wrapped in them sent Ceth’s stomach freefalling in disappointment, which was ridiculous. Krystal was only a few feet away in the bathroom, of course. And when had Ceth gotten so clingy, anyway?
Ceth sat up gingerly and smirked as she discovered all the places she was sore.
Wow. Last night had been unbelievable. Giving over control to Krystal and watching her own it had pretty much blown Ceth’s mind. And then they had held each other and talked until they’d fallen asleep.
The only thing that would have made it perfect would have been waking up beside Krystal too. But she’d obviously been the grownup between the two of them and realized it was time to get ready for the day.
Ceth’s gaze fell on the nightstand clock and noted it was only six.
Frowning, she looked to the bathroom and froze.
The door was open and the light was off.
Had Krystal already gotten ready for the day and went to breakfast?
She didn’t have any obligation to wake Ceth or announce her plans, of course, but it still left Ceth feeling surprised and a little lost.
Tumbling into a pensive mood, she got ready in record time and headed for the door. By this point there were only a few hours left in the conference and she and Krystal would need to get back to their normal lives. If they were going to talk, it needed to be now.
She hurried out the door and into the hall. But then she nearly tripped over her own feet when she glanced out the screen door across the hall and spotted Krystal.
She was slumped in a chair with her back facing the door.
Her blonde hair was loose and unkempt, blowing in the breeze.
It looked like she was dressed in her lounge clothes.
Something in her posture made her seem upset.
Concern coursed through Ceth and she walked over to gently push open the door, trying her best not to startle Krystal.
It was only as the door opened that Ceth realized Krystal was on the phone.
She paused immediately. There was no point in invading her privacy. She’d head back inside and talk to Krystal when she was finished. But then her ears caught Krystal’s murmured words.
“I love you, Miri. I always have and always will. How could anything matter more than that?”
Ceth stumbled backwards through the door like she’d been shoved. Fortunately, it closed softly, because she didn’t have the presence of mind to be stealthy anymore.
Miri? Krystal’s ex? She’d never even said they were still talking and now…this? Is that what had dragged Krystal out of bed and away from Ceth before the sun had even come up? Had Miri called? Were they reconciling right this minute?
Krystal still loved her.
Ceth felt like she was hollowing out and shrinking into a tiny shell right there on the hotel carpet.
Krystal still loved Miri.
Well, of course she did! She’d said at the beginning of all this that she was still so devastated over the breakup that she was looking for an affair to try to move on.
And she’d found that with Ceth.
But instead of helping her move on, it had driven her right back to the woman she really loved. How had Ceth expected any other outcome? She’d never be the one Krystal chose.
Chest tight and eyes stinging mercilessly, Ceth fumbled with the lock of their hotel room door and tripped inside.
What was she going to do?
In a matter of minutes, maybe, Krystal was going to come right through that door and inform Ceth she was getting back with Miri. And she wouldn’t expect Ceth to mind. This was all supposed to be casual!
Maybe she’d even think Ceth would be happy for her. And, God, Ceth wished she could be that selfless!
She wasn’t such an ass that she’d try to interfere with Krystal’s happiness by blubbering about her own feelings.
She’d nearly sabotaged one of Krystal’s relationships before with her own issues; she wasn’t about to do that now.
But neither would she be able to sit here and listen to Krystal gush over how happy she was to be back with Miri.
Her thoughts spun, and she struggled to settle on a reasonable course of action.
All she knew was she needed to get out of this room before Krystal returned.
This morning’s conference agenda included a brief concluding session after which people usually hung around and chatted or exchanged contact info as warranted.
Maybe she could disappear into all the activities and avoid Krystal until she figured out what to do.
A few hours later, Ceth had successfully avoided Krystal.
She’d only spotted her once during the morning session and had managed not to be seen in turn by ducking away for a bathroom break.
Even in her tormented state, Ceth realized how childish it was to play hide and seek at a work conference just because she didn’t know how to face a painful conversation. But she’d hid anyway.
After that first near-miss, she hadn’t seen any sign of Krystal.
Now she was standing at the front desk with her suitcase packed and waiting beside her while she wished for Maddox or literally any member of the resort staff to appear.
She’d attempted to use the resort’s online checkout tool, but naturally, it had picked this day and moment to glitch and force her to wait around for an in-person checkout.
The sound of footsteps across the lobby’s stone floor roused her from her ruminations.
Finally.
But when she turned, it wasn’t a staff member crossing the room, it was Jonas.
“Hey Ceth.” His gaze dropped to the luggage at her feet, and he frowned. “Leaving already? Weren’t you even going to find us and say bye? We barely saw you this whole time.”
Internally, Ceth winced. She had been a lousy friend on top of everything else. “Yeah, I’m sorry, Jonas.”
He held up a hand. “No, no. I get it. Maria and I talked it over. I was a jerk that first night, running off my mouth and making your friend uncomfortable. I’m sorry about that.”
Ceth took a step back in surprise. “Oh. Well, thanks for that. There was no permanent damage, so it’s okay.”
“That’s good.” Jonas nodded. Then he looked around the room. “So where is Krystal? Are you two leaving together?”
“No, we’re not,” Ceth said with a scoff. She squared her shoulders and tried to put on her usual easygoing tone. “It’s not like that. You know I only do casual.”
That brought a new frown to Jonas’s face. “Uh, I didn’t think this was business as usual. I mean, you already had history with her. Important history from the sound of things. And then you spent every spare moment with her while you were here.”
Ceth managed a shrug, but Jonas’s words poked at her emotional armor, which was more aluminum foil than chainmail by this point.
To her horror, her eyes started to sting and she couldn’t seem to stop one or two fat tears from forming in the corners.
She rubbed her eye with her palm and turned, but it was too late judging from the “Oh shit,” Jonas blurted out.
“Ceth, I—”
“Okay, fine. It wasn’t business as usual!
Happy now?” Ceth snapped. “I really, really care about her. And I did eight years ago too. But I fucked up our friendship because I was a selfish ass, and I moved out without talking to her again. Then she showed up in my life again, and we had an amazing few days together. But this morning, I found out she’s getting back with her ex, and everything really fucking sucks right now. ”
She breathed hard and glared at Jonas, hoping the irritation that he really hadn’t earned would chase back her messier emotions, but her eyes still stung.
As for Jonas, his eyes were wide from the outburst and probably from the fact that she’d just made things awkward between them.
But to her surprise, he recovered quickly. “Damn. I’m sorry.” He patted the pockets of his jacket and trousers until he found a tissue and handed it to her. “So she just told you she was getting back with her ex and said you could take a hike?”
“No, no. Krystal would never be that harsh,” Ceth said, accepting the tissue. “I overheard her getting back together with the ex on the phone. And I figured it’s best I split before she has to tell me about it.”
Jonas stood straighter. “You mean you’re just ghosting her? Again?”
Ceth scowled at the phrase. “No. Well, okay, yes. Maybe. But it’s better that way.”
“Better for you, you mean,” Jonas said with a snort. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Ceth, but honestly you need to grow up. You can’t just run out on that poor girl without a word just because she has something to say that you don’t wanna hear!”
Heat was starting to prickle over Ceth’s skin. She shot back. “Right. Are you telling me you never ghosted a girl before?”
“Yeah, when I was eighteen or nineteen because I was a stupid kid!” He shook his head.
“Hell, Ceth. You were probably born smarter than I was at that age. So why don’t you act like it?
You said you were selfish the first time around.
Well, in my view, that’s what you’re being now.
Do you want her to think you haven’t changed?
Do you like thinking you haven’t changed?
She may love somebody else, but she obviously thinks a lot of you too.
If you split without a resolution, that’s gonna hurt. ”