Chapter 36 #2
He wrapped his arms around me, pulled me into his chest, and buried his face in my neck. I could feel his tears on my skin, the shudder of his shoulders, the way he was saying it over and over, like he was making up for all the years he couldn’t.
“I love you too,” I said, my voice thick, my arms tightening around him. “I love you, Cassian.”
He pulled back just enough to look at me. His face was wet, his eyes red, his smile so bright it broke my heart. He touched my face with shaking fingers, traced my cheekbone.
“I love you,” he said again, and this time the words came easy. Smooth. Like they had always been there, waiting.
I kissed him. Soft. Slow. Letting him taste the words on my lips. He kissed me back, and I felt him smile against my mouth, felt the last of the tension drain out of him, felt something new take its place.
When we pulled apart, he kept his forehead against mine. His breath was warm, finally calm.
“I love you,” he whispered.
I nodded. “I know.”
He smiled. It was the kind of smile that started somewhere deep, somewhere he’d been holding darkness for so long the light felt new. “I said it.”
I matched his smile, feeling the shape of it on my own face, feeling the way my cheeks ached from how wide it stretched. “You did.”
He wiped my face with his thumbs. His smile kept growing, kept brightening, until he was beaming. “I’m so in love with you. I’ve been in love with you ever since you tried to break that innocent table in the escape room on our first date.”
My jaw dropped. “It was a nonagonal table. I thought it had a clue.”
“It was decoration, sweetheart.” His voice was patient, but his eyes were laughing.
“It looked suspicious!” I gestured wildly, the old indignation flooding back, real and familiar. “It had nine sides, Cassian. Nine. Who makes a table with nine sides if it’s not hiding something?”
He was grinning now, wide and happy, his whole face transformed. I wanted to hold this moment, freeze it, keep it somewhere safe where nothing could touch it. “I love you.”
I sighed, but I was smiling too. “You’re going to say it all the time now, aren’t you?”
He nodded, eager, almost bouncing in his seat on the hospital bed.
“All the fucking time. I’m going to record it and set it as our alarm tone.
I’ll say it in the morning, at night, in the middle of the day when you’re not expecting it.
I’ll say it until you’re sick of it. I’ll say it until you never doubt it for a single second. ”
I cupped his face, felt the warmth of his skin under my palms. “Just keep showing me, Cassian. That’s all I need. Just keep showing up, keep being here, keep being you. And I won’t ever doubt it.”
He kissed me. Slow at first, like he was savoring it. Then his hand slid into my hair, and his mouth pressed harder against mine, and there was nothing slow about it anymore. It was hungry and desperate and full of everything he’d been holding back, everything he’d finally found a way to say.
He leaned back just enough to look at me, his breathing uneven, his eyes dark and bright all at once. “Deal.”
My fingers traced the shape of his face. The curve of his smile. The soft skin beneath his eyes. The way his brows lifted slightly when I touched him, like he was still surprised I wanted to.
I had forgotten all this. Every line, every warmth, every small movement that made him him. It had been locked somewhere I couldn’t reach, and now it was here, in my hands, and I was afraid if I stopped touching him I would lose it again.
“I hate that I forgot you.” The words came out smaller than I meant them to. “I never wanted to forget you.”
He covered my hand with his, pressed it closer to his cheek.
“I know.” His voice was steady, but I could feel the tremor underneath.
“But it’s okay. We still found our way back to each other.
” He turned his head, kissed my palm. “We will always find our way back to each other. We’re meant to be.
Destined to be with each other.” His eyes held mine, serious now.
“In every life. I’m sure we were two ducks in one life.
Pigeons in another. Maybe even lizards.”
A laugh broke out of me. He grinned at the sound.
“My point is,” he said, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand, “no matter what happens, we’ll always be together.
We can have a thousand problems. We can fall apart, forget each other, lose everything.
But we’ll still end up together.” His hands slid down to my waist, pulling me closer. “You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because there are some people who just make sense together. Who only truly live when they’re with the other person.
They only really love when they’re loving each other.
They love each other in a way that doesn’t stop.
Doesn’t break. Doesn’t end.” He held my gaze, and there was nothing in his eyes but certainty.
“We are those people. We will always be those people. It’s a fact. No one can argue with it.”
I kissed his cheek. His forehead. The corner of his mouth. “Okay. I believe you.”
His brow furrowed. “It’s not something to believe in, Alessia. It’s a fact. Like gravity. It’s just true.”
I nodded, keeping my face as serious as I could manage. “I believe it’s a fact.”
He squinted at me. His mouth twisted. He looked so confused, so earnest, so desperately trying to figure out if I was mocking him that I couldn’t help it. I laughed.
“I feel like you’re making fun of me,” he said.
I gasped, pressing a hand to my chest. “Me? Never.”
He looked down, still frowning, still thinking, still taking me completely seriously, and he was so unbearably beautiful I thought my chest might crack open from it.
“Hey, Cassian?”
His eyes snapped to mine, wide and open and waiting.