Chapter 38
Dear Joy,
Your dream for Logan has come true. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say love has blossomed – for me anyway!
You knew all those years ago that he loved me.
Some things are worth the wait and I hope that’s true for us.
I don’t know what the future holds or how we’ll make it work, but somehow we will because I can’t imagine us not being together as friends, lovers and soulmates.
I’ve decided to start writing a journal again as it’s a good habit to have and I’ve loved reading yours, not just because it’s been eye-opening and life-changing, but because of the way you write with passion and heart, painting a picture of an idyllic life even though it was threaded with heartache, but with much love, peace and beauty too.
Thank you for everything.
With love,
Tilly x
Sunshine streamed through the bedroom window.
They’d left the curtains open because with an uninterrupted view across the garden to the loch and no other houses in sight, no one could see in.
Barney was lying on the end of the bed with one eye open watching her.
Tilly had been awake for a while and had taken the opportunity to read the last few pages of Joy’s journal.
The final paragraph lingered, playing over and over in her mind as she watched the sunshine creeping across the faded floral rug.
Don’t let the past define your future, Tilly.
Even though I was young and never had a romantic relationship after Robert, his passing didn’t result in everlasting sadness.
Of course grief has danced around the edges, creeping up on me on those poignant days such as his birthday, our wedding anniversary and Christmas, when the loss is more acute.
And although I remained on my own, I chose to embrace life with all its ups and downs.
Of course life without Robert was vastly different to what I’d envisaged when I stepped onto that train with him all those years ago, and yet it has been filled with peace, happiness and love.
I wish those things for you and Logan, always.
When Logan stirred next to her, Tilly put the journal on the bedside table, wiped away her tears and snuggled back down next to him.
He slid a hand beneath the duvet and across her bare stomach, and she shifted closer.
His sleepy moan of contentment prickled her skin and pooled warmth to the parts of her body that had left her making a similar noise the night before.
The alarm going off elicited a moan of a different kind from Logan. He reached out and hit the snooze button.
‘It’s late and we should get up,’ Tilly whispered, not wanting to disturb the calm of the morning.
Logan rolled over and grinned. ‘You’re naked in my bed; I’m already up.’
Tilly snorted and slapped him playfully, while a voice in her head taunted this is your best friend you’re fooling about with.
The voice was smaller though, more of a whisper, because staying in bed with Logan was what she wanted to do this morning and every morning, even when there were things to do, and particularly when time was running out.
He dived beneath the duvet and pressed kisses to her bare skin. All thoughts of getting up exited her head as desire took over.
A phone ringing made them pause.
‘It’s yours,’ Tilly said with a sigh.
‘If it’s important they’ll leave a message.’ His voice was muffled beneath the cover.
The ringing stopped and Tilly lay back against the pillow with her eyes closed and a satisfied smile, zoning in on Logan’s hot breath and teasing lips.
His phone starting ringing again.
‘Oh for…’ Logan emerged from beneath the duvet. ‘We’ll continue in a minute,’ he said cheekily. He scooped up his phone and his smile disappeared. ‘Hey, Màiri,’ he answered. ‘Everything okay?’
Tilly could just make out Màiri saying something, although she didn’t catch what, but the way Logan’s brow furrowed was worrying.
‘I’m on my way.’ Logan ended the call, threw the duvet off and glanced at Tilly as he got out of bed. ‘Ivor’s had a fall, is refusing to let Màiri call a doctor and she needs help getting him off the floor.’
Tilly’s hope for a lingering and sensual morning in bed evaporated. They chucked on clothes, rushed downstairs to feed Barney and were out of the door within a few minutes.
As they made their way to Wood Farm, her thoughts turned to Jean. She hoped she was safe at home with her son, but it highlighted how vulnerable Ivor would be once Màiri left. They faced an impossible situation, and now with Joy gone too it would be even more challenging.
Tilly jogged to catch up with Logan, who was striding ahead. The front door was ajar and Tilly followed him inside. Ivor was crumpled on the hallway floor with his head in Màiri’s lap.
Logan scooted down next to them. ‘What happened?’
Màiri sighed. ‘I was in the kitchen making tea when I heard an almighty thump and found him at the bottom of the stairs.’
‘I misplaced my footing, that was all,’ Ivor snapped.
Still in her pyjamas, Màiri looked drawn, her eyes bloodshot from crying, while Ivor was ash-white.
‘Did you hurt yourself?’ Tilly asked.
‘Would everyone stop fussing and get me up off the floor!’
Màiri’s lips pursed and Tilly could tell she was fighting back tears. She looked up at Logan and he nodded.
‘Come on then,’ Logan said with feigned cheerfulness. ‘You’ll be more comfortable on the sofa.’
‘Exactly,’ Ivor growled.
Màiri supported her dad’s head as she carefully removed herself from beneath him. Logan gripped him beneath his arms while Tilly held his sides.
Ivor grimaced as they started to move him. His guttural grunt made them stop.
‘Where’s the pain, Ivor?’ Logan asked.
‘I’m fine,’ he snapped. ‘Just need… to get… up.’
The way he was speaking with a sharp intake of breath between each word suggested he was anything but fine.
Logan laid Ivor back down and the tears Màiri had been trying to contain streaked down her cheeks.
‘You’re going to have to stay here a bit longer, Ivor, while we get someone to check you over,’ Logan said firmly.
‘I’ll do nothing… of the… sort.’
Logan glanced between Tilly and Màiri. ‘Make him comfortable. I’ll get help.’
‘Dad, Logan’s right,’ Màiri said, kneeling next to him. She took his hand. ‘We need to get you checked out. Make sure you haven’t broken anything.’
Tilly left them to go into the living room to grab a cushion and a blanket.
Logan was outside speaking to someone on the phone, and by the time she returned to the hallway, Màiri had managed to pacify Ivor and was talking softly to him as she stroked his hair.
Tilly tucked a cushion beneath his head and laid the blanket over him.
He looked pale and his teeth were chattering. His skin was goosebumped.
The struggle to keep his independence was a battle that he might not win, and the concerns Màiri had mentioned at Joy’s celebration were evident.
Tilly understood Ivor’s resistance to move.
Wood Farm was his home, the place he’d always known, where he’d raised his family, lived and worked, loved and lost. All of his memories were tied into the farm and the island, much like Logan’s were with Joy and Loch View House, yet there were stark differences.
Ivor was facing a heart-breaking decision, one that would likely be taken out of his hands at some point, while Logan had decided to hold on to the place he loved even if it meant extra financial commitment and responsibility.
Once Màiri left, Ivor would be on his own, even if his daughter would care and worry about him from afar, while Logan had opened up the possibility of a future with Tilly, although how that would happen, she had no idea.
They kept Ivor as comfortable as they could, although he grumbled when Màiri forced him to drink some water, and when Logan told him the paramedics were on their way, he turned the air blue.
It was his silent treatment towards Màiri that broke Tilly’s heart when he was loaded into the back of an ambulance to be taken to A&E at the hospital in Craignure.
Tilly didn’t know her well and Màiri certainly had little reason to like Tilly, but her obvious heartache made Tilly want to help her, and in turn Ivor.
Joy would have wanted her friend to be okay and looked after.
At Màiri’s insistence that she was fine to drive herself to the hospital, Logan made her promise to keep them updated and they watched her leave.
They were subdued as they returned to the house.
Instead of going back to bed, they ploughed on with the remaining jobs.
There were just two days until they went their separate ways again, yet there was still so much to talk about and explore.
Her churning thoughts kept her company as she cleaned and tidied, while ideas formed and possibilities danced around her head.
* * *
Logan was in the attic and Tilly was in the garden raking some stones on the drive when Màiri pulled up in her car later that afternoon. Instead of turning into the farm, she stopped on the grass verge and got out.
‘How’s your dad?’ Tilly asked as Màiri reached the garden fence.
‘Not good.’ She sighed. ‘I’ve come back to pack a bag for him.
He’s going to be in hospital for a while.
He broke his hip. That’s why he was in so much pain despite stubbornly refusing to admit it.
They think he might have had a funny turn at the top of the stairs, which was why he lost his balance, but that needs investigating too.
’ Her eyes were red-rimmed and her cheeks were clenched tight.
‘Oh Màiri, I’m so sorry.’
‘Thank you.’ She gave a curt nod. ‘And thank you for your help.’
‘Is there anything else we can do?’