Chapter 38 #2
‘Wave a magic wand to make everything okay.’ Màiri grimaced and shook her head.
‘I’ve spoken to Cal and he’s offered to look after the animals.
My brother’s coming over from Spain for a few days so he can visit Dad while I go home and sort a few things out before returning for longer.
And I need to have a serious chat with my husband face to face.
A trip to Manchester might be in order. Are you and Logan leaving on Saturday? ’
‘Yeah, that’s the plan.’
‘Any idea when you’ll be back?’
‘No.’ Tilly’s grip tightened on the rake. ‘I’m not sure what Logan’s plans are, although I assume he’ll return when he can.’
Màiri nodded and her lips pursed again. ‘I’d best hurry up and get back.’ She turned to go.
‘Màiri,’ Tilly said, stepping closer to the fence.
‘I’ve been thinking about the situation with your dad here, you in Inverness and your husband working away.
I know your dad doesn’t want to leave and you’re not able to come back permanently so compromises are going to have to be made.
But what about a neutral place, maybe somewhere in the countryside that’s peaceful and big enough for you all?
’ She gripped the top of the gate, anticipating Màiri laughing in her face once she finished speaking.
‘There’s a smallholding in Cumbria, which is possibly commuting distance to Manchester – at least it’s a hell of a lot closer than Scotland.
It needs a lot of work, but it reminded me of here.
’ She swept her hand towards Wood Farm. ‘There’s space for your dad and a growing family, in a beautiful part of the world.
Even if it’s not right and it’s too much to take on, it might give you an idea of what’s possible.
And there’ll be plenty of similar places that would only need cosmetic work.
It’s just an idea, and obviously a huge compromise for you all, but I couldn’t help but think what I’d do if I was in your position. ’
‘I’ve had this conversation with Dad many times,’ Màiri said with resignation. ‘To get him to sell Wood Farm and never be able to come back here, well, that would take a miracle.’
Tilly nodded, but stopped herself from saying more, because there were further thoughts churning, fresh and uncertain.
An idea was bubbling, not just about Màiri and Ivor’s situation, but about a future for her and Logan that she’d never have dreamed of a couple of weeks ago.
Perhaps she should think about it more, yet she knew in her heart it was right.
She also had another madcap idea that could potentially help Màiri and her father that she couldn’t quite believe she was going to suggest, but she was trying to be honest and vulnerable, not just with Logan and herself, but everyone she cared about – speaking openly with Màiri would do just that.
‘There is one other thing. I’m going to suggest something you’ll probably not like and your dad will hate, but it might be the compromise you all need. Just hear me out before you shoot me down.’
* * *
Màiri did hear her out, only commenting, ‘Aye, you’re right, my dad’s going to hate the idea,’ but then she added, ‘I don’t, though’, which eased Tilly’s worry that she’d overstepped.
Logan came out of the house and Tilly left them alone to chat so Màiri could catch him up on the situation with Ivor. She put away the gardening tools in the shed and returned to the house. She’d just made a cup of tea when she heard Màiri’s car on the lane, leaving to return to the hospital.
Through the kitchen window, she spied Logan leaning on the fence on the far side of the meadow. She made another tea, called Barney and headed outside.
Logan turned just before she reached him, a myriad of emotions washing over his face as he looked at her.
‘Thought you could do with this.’ She handed him one of the mugs of tea. ‘Fancy heading down to the loch?’
‘Yeah, that’d be nice.’
They walked down the lane between the fields, with Barney trotting ahead, sniffing the long grass. This was Tilly’s favourite time of the day, when the sun was descending and the warmth lingered, casting a golden light over the landscape.
She led the way onto the shingle beach to the tree stump and they sat down, clasping their mugs with their shoulders touching.
There was something comforting about sitting here with Logan, a reminder of the past, yet the reality was better.
There was a promise of a future together that she wanted more than anything.
It also reminded her of their last evening here all those years ago when they’d made that promise before leaving Mull and going their separate ways.
Not this time, Tilly thought. She wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.
She turned to Logan, but before she could open her mouth, he said, ‘I don’t know if you were brave or stupid suggesting what you did to Màiri.’
Tilly clutched her mug tighter. ‘Huh, she told you.’
‘I get that you’re trying to help them out, but it’s a massive commitment and there’s heaps of trust involved.’
‘You don’t think it’s a good idea?’
‘I think it might be the answer for them if Ivor’s willing to compromise, but I don’t understand why you would want to do something like that?’
‘Because I can and I would hope someone would be brave enough to make that suggestion if I was in Màiri’s position and they had the means to help.
There are benefits for us all, even if Ivor will think I’m playing right into my greedy property developer role.
’ Tilly sighed and gulped a few mouthfuls of tea.
‘I keep thinking about what Joy would want; she was open, loving and selfless, always willing to put others before herself, and that’s to be admired and something I’d like to live up to. ’
Logan put his mug down and slid his arm round her waist, his fingers teasing heat through her T-shirt. ‘You’re already living up to that, because you’ve always been thoughtful. My God, you’ve allowed your ex to live in your house for goodness knows how long instead of kicking him out.’
‘Yeah well, I’ve given him a deadline now.’ She shifted slightly so she could see him. ‘Did I tell you I’ve decided to sell my house?’
Logan’s eyes widened and his fingers stilled. ‘Nope, you missed off that nugget of information.’
‘It no longer felt like mine and being there reminded me of stuff I want to forget. I need a fresh start.’
‘And to put yourself first for once.’
‘Not just me.’ The retreating sun bathed Logan in its soft light.
He’d never looked more handsome and she’d never felt so safe and content, loved and seen.
Even with the blustery breeze, the cold didn’t bother her, not when they were sitting together somewhere she never wanted to leave – except to eventually go back to the house to spend the evening together before heading to bed.
‘You know the promise we made to each other fourteen years ago?’
Logan looked at her in a way she thought he might be worried she’d propose. ‘Yeah,’ he said slowly.
‘What if we made another promise?’
‘Okay? What are we promising?’
‘To be happy.’
Logan chortled. ‘You make it sound so simple.’
‘It is, because I’m happy when I’m with you and it seems to be the same for you—’
‘You think?’ He laughed. ‘I’ve always been happy when I’m with you. Nothing’s going to change that, but we do need to see more of each other.’
‘What if we could see a lot of each other?’ Tilly dragged her eyes away from Logan to gaze at the shimmering loch.
The water lapped the stones with a rhythmic rush and suck.
She gripped the rough edge of the tree stump and turned back to him.
‘What if we lived together, like we used to in Edinburgh, but more official, as in properly lived together.’
‘But…’ Logan’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘I mean, yes, a huge yes, but even if you’re selling your house, your life’s in Newcastle…’ He trailed off as understanding dawned. ‘Where are you thinking of?’
She swept her hand around. ‘Where else, Logan Wogan?’
‘Are you being serious?’ He grinned at her. ‘Tilly Toes!’
‘It’s the only place that’s ever felt like home for both of us, so why not make it official?’
Logan opened his mouth to say something, then looked back towards Loch View House and the garden.
She knew where his focus fell – on his aunt’s bench, where Joy had put Tilly and Logan’s feelings for each other in motion through her words written with love and hope.
They’d managed to have the power to shape and transform their relationship by opening Tilly’s eyes to the truth that had been staring her in the face for years.
She’d learnt it was okay to be vulnerable and open and to take a chance on love.
‘Now it makes sense why you suggested buying Wood Farm.’
‘Even if Màiri ends up thinking it’s a terrible idea and doesn’t take the proposition to Ivor, it doesn’t change a thing for me.’ Tilly placed her mug on the stones, shuffled closer and took Logan’s hand. ‘What I’m trying to ask is can I come and live here with you on Mull?’
‘Oh my goodness, Tilly. Nothing would make me happier.’ He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. ‘I love you.’
Tilly threaded her fingers in his and settled into his embrace. ‘I love you more.’