Chapter 16 #2
“I talked to Kimaji. She is so worried about you. She relayed a message through JR, so I called her. She said Graham is about to lose his mind without you. He calls her every day to see if she’s heard from you.
He isn’t hurting for money. I’m sure he’s told you that already.
His hurt about losing his job was simply because he liked it.
He’s also being targeted by his supervisor.
Most likely, he’ll be getting his job back if he wants it.
Premier Wings doesn’t roll like that,” Noah said.
“I don’t know if he’ll be able to handle my past though. It’s a lot. I get sick to my stomach when I think about some of the stuff I did.”
“It’s the past, Arlie. You aren’t the same person. My dad is going to pray for you, if that’s okay, then we will hit this studio. I need a love song out of you.”
I frowned slightly. “A love song?”
“Yep. This sensitivity ain’t going to waste. You gon’ put it in a track. It’s probably gonna be your biggest hit. I got the perfect sample for it.”
“What sample is it?”
He only smirked as we grabbed hands for his dad to pray.
“God, we love You. You are always a present help in the time of trouble. Your daughter, Arlie, needs You. She’s struggling with a past that You’ve already forgiven her for.
Let her know that she can walk boldly in Your love.
The only validation she needs comes from You.
Strengthen her where she’s weak. Let her know that she was made by You, and You don’t make mistakes.
Let her know she can go to You in prayer when she feels overwhelmed, confused, and downtrodden. Envelope her in Your embrace . . .”
Reverend Charles was praying us straight to heaven. It felt like God actually hugged me when he said it. My entire body was warm, and I was so grateful for Noah and his family for not only taking care of me physically, but spiritually, emotionally, and mentally as well.
“. . . Help her to gravitate to the people who love her and avoid those that don’t.
Give her clarity about how to deal with the media and wisdom to know how to approach Graham.
There is a lesson to be learned from all of this, and I pray that You will make sure she learns it.
Help her to love herself and to give herself grace.
She is not unlovable, and she has a beautiful heart, gifted to her by You . . .”
Jesus. This man had me wanting to go to church all of a sudden.
By the time he was done, tears were streaming down my face.
The second he said amen, I stood from my chair and crashed into Mrs. Raqui.
After she embraced me, Noelle and Reverend Charles hugged me as well. When I looked up at Noah, he smiled.
“Now let’s go put in this work. Afterwards, you can call Kimaji and Graham.”
He put his arm around me, and we walked to the studio.
When he opened the door and I saw the flowers everywhere, I immediately thought of Graham.
He’d done the same thing when I was out here less than a week ago.
Noah and his family were right. I needed to live in my truth.
I was no longer the same person I had once been. I was who God had called me to be.
I saw the card on the stem, but I knew there was no way I could read it right now.
Closing my eyes, I took in a cleansing breath.
When I opened them, Noah smiled, and he pressed a button on the boards.
When “Something in My Heart” by Michel’le started to play, I smiled.
I already knew I would put all my emotions in this shit.
I was getting teary eyed listening to the lyrics she was singing.
He stopped the playback, and said, “The tempo will stay the same. I’m gonna add a heavy bass to it. You want an original hook, or do you want to keep what’s there?”
I averted my gaze as I thought about it. “Original. I don’t care who sings it. Everybody on YKMN or connected to you has talent.”
“Except RJ, shorty. The only thing semi-musical about the nigga is that he can dance. That’s it.”
I laughed. “You better stop talking about him before he pops up.”
“You right about that.” He paused for a minute, then said, “I think Noelle, TAZ, or even Nate’s wife, Kenya, would be great for this song.”
“What about you?”
“It depends on what you gon’ be saying. I can’t be sounding like a woman, shorty.”
I chuckled. “Let’s see what I come up with.”
He shook his head. “Nah. Spit that shit straight from your heart. Go in there.”
My eyebrows lifted slightly, but I stood and went in the booth. I grabbed the headphones and put them on as Noah cued up the instrumental. When I closed my eyes . . .
I saw Graham’s face.
I saw his smile.
I saw him licking his lips.
I saw the fire in his eyes.
I saw him hovering over me.
From my lips flowed the abundances of my heart. This track was perfect because I was truly hooked on that man. When the intro started, I began in a regular talking voice.
There was no limit to the love I was giving
When drama came, I overreacted and pushed you away
Treating you like it was your fault
When in all actuality, I wanted you to stay
I slowly shook my head and closed my eyes, then began flowing with the first verse.
Shit in my past done came back to haunt me
It’s threatened the security I felt with you
You don’t have the slightest clue what’s up with me
Even though I’m a woman, I just wanna protect you
Your heart is pure, baby, a rare treasure
I wanted to be on that same level
But at the same time, I don’t wanna hurt you
I don’t want you to feel like you fucking with a devil
Come back and shake the fuck out of me until I see things your way
I hate the way I tried to piss away our future together
Forgive me and tell me you understand me, despite my bullshit
Tell me that we can make our love last forever
By the time I finished the last verse, Noah yelled, “Hell yeah! That was it! This gon’ be a single, shorty!”
I smiled, still marinating in the words that had fallen from my soul.
“Yeeeeeeaaaahhhh!”
When I heard RJ’s voice, I opened my eyes and laughed.
He was looking like that ‘hype me up’ dude with the way he was swinging his arm.
I definitely had to call Graham as soon as I got to my hotel room tonight.
I still had more work to do before I left.
This was my calling . . . my purpose. I had never been pushed to create from the depths of my soul like this.
I would cherish this session for as long as I lived.
Glancing around at the roses in the room, I knew I owed Graham an apology, along with everyone else. They didn’t deserve my disappearing act. They deserved an explanation.
“Let me hear it!” I said as I came out of the booth.
They both laughed as I flopped on the couch, and Noah started the playback. I closed my eyes and soaked up my love for a man I had no intention of getting attached to. I just hoped he could forgive me.