Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
Pete checked his watch and walked over to the trailer window. Sure enough, just as with the day before, Hailey had sent her assistant to deliver the thermoses of hot chocolate and a dozen homemade brownies.
This time, for the last time.
It was Christmas Eve. They’d stay open late tonight, for the people who waited until the last minute to buy a tree—at a steep discount. Pete had already started to pack up the holiday shop, the ornaments that hadn’t sold, the wreaths that were starting to brown. With any luck, they’d be out of here by nine, back in Timber Valley before midnight.
It was for the best. That’s what he’d told himself. He was just struggling to believe it.
He pulled the blinds closed with a rattle and walked back to the laminate table where his laptop was still open, his response to the land developer drafted, the cursor hovering over the button that would send it off and seal the deal.
They could keep the house this way, he told himself. That would at least be something.
The trailer door swung open, sending a gust of cold air through the small room. “Shut the door, will you?” Pete said to Mike.
Mike shrugged and obliged. “I see that Mandy is here again.”
Pete dragged his eyes over to his cousin and held them there. He knew where Mike was leading, and he didn’t want to go there. Didn’t want to think about it.
“I’m sure Hailey is busy at the café,” he replied. He hoped so at least. “How are the sales this morning?”
Like it mattered at this point. With the sale of the farm, they’d be financially sound, even after they’d paid off the loan. Maybe he could find a smaller plot of land nearby and start a new farm from scratch.
Even if his heart wasn’t in it, his father’s soul would be, he told himself.
“Steady.” Mike didn’t give any intention of moving. “What happened with Hailey?”
Pete frowned. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, Mandy’s here for the second day in a row with that hot chocolate, and you’ve been looking like crap.” Before Pete could protest, Mike cocked an eyebrow. “Trust me, Pete. You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
He hadn’t. Not with the weight of breaking more than one heart on his shoulders. He’d already let Hailey down. Next, he’d have to break bad news to his mother.
But not until after Christmas. She deserved to have a good holiday this year.
“Nothing is going on between me and Hailey.” Not anymore. Never again. Pete swallowed hard, pushed the hair back from his forehead, and walked over to the coffee machine to start a new pot.
“But there was. Mandy told me that Hailey hasn’t been looking so great, either.”
“Since when are you so chummy with Mandy?” Pete asked.
“Don’t go changing the subject,” Mike shot back.
“It’s the final push before Christmas.” Pete pulled a filter from the stack and filled it with ground coffee. “Our last day on the lot.”
“All the more reason that I’d expect you and Hailey to find every excuse to see each other,” Mike replied. “For what it’s worth, Mandy feels the same way.”
“Don’t tell me you’re hitting on Mandy now.” Pete stared at his cousin, who was fighting back a smirk.
“Just a friendly working relationship,” Mike said. Then, his amusement fading, “And two concerned friends.”
“We didn’t have a fight if that’s what you’re thinking.” Pete didn’t even know why he was bothering to defend himself. There was nothing to explain to Mike or Mandy. It was as complicated as it was simple. And talking about it wouldn’t change the outcome.
“So why don’t you ask her out for New Year’s Eve? ”
The family had a big party every year at the house, and this year would be no exception. Traditions were important to the Camerons—and Pete was doing everything he could to uphold them, too.
“Hailey’s life is here,” Pete said firmly, reminding himself more than telling his cousin. As nice as it would be to think of inviting Hailey, he knew it would only make it harder to walk away than it already was.
“So it’s just over then?” Mike looked disappointed.
Pete swallowed hard. “Yep. Over.”
“But…but you laid out a romantic picnic and everything.”
Sure enough. Mike would never let him forget that one.
His cousin’s grin was huge now, but Pete didn’t find any of this amusing. “We spent some time together. We parted on good terms.”
“Good terms, huh? Now I see that she’s not coming around anymore. And you’re looking—”
“Like crap. I know, I know.” Pete held up a hand. “I ended things. We’re not meant to be. Things are the same now as they were then. She’s set on staying in Chicago, and I’m going back to Timber Valley.”
“And what if you weren’t?”
The coffee machine beeped, signaling it was finished brewing, but Pete made no motion to reach for a mug. “What’s that supposed to mean? Of course I’m going back to Timber Valley.”
“What for? The farm?” Mike’s expression turned serious .
“No. For…Look, my dad just died. I’m not about to leave my mother.” Especially now, when something else was about to be taken away from her too.
“What if I told you that your mom told my mom she was hoping to move to Florida now that your dad is gone? That she hates the cold and was only sticking it out because it was his dream.”
Pete tried to process what his cousin was saying, what this meant. His heart was pounding as he tried to decipher if Mike was just messing with him.
But even Mike wouldn’t joke about something like this.
“She said that?”
Mike nodded. “Seems she was afraid of how you’d take it, seeing as you sacrificed so much for that farm.”
“I did sacrifice a lot for that farm,” Pete said, his mind drifting to Hailey. But even now, with everything that had happened, he knew he’d had no other choice, and looking back, he wouldn’t have done things differently. “That farm meant everything to my father. He…needed me.”
“And you were there for him. But that was his dream, Pete. Not your mother’s. Not yours.” Mike tipped his head. “I’ve seen how you are around Hailey. You light up. You’re a different person than you are back home. When you’re there it’s all work for you. And I’m not so sure that it’s work you enjoy.”
No, it wasn’t. But it was meaningful work.
While it lasted.
Pete pulled in a breath. “The farm is going to be sold, Mike. My dad borrowed against the house years ago during a dry spell and things haven’t been going well with the business for a while. We lose the farm, or we lose the house. The only thing for certain is that we can’t keep both.”
Mike’s eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t look surprised. “It’s a tough industry. I see that in your face every day.”
“I found a way to keep the house at least,” Pete said.
Mike just shrugged. “Yeah, but you don’t need that house anymore, do you?”
Pete opened his mouth to say something and then stopped. He loved that house. Knew every turn, every detail, and couldn’t walk into a single room without being met with a memory. But maybe that’s all it was now. Part of his past. Not his future.
“Your mom was planning to sell, Pete. She’s just been waiting for the right time. Maybe she wanted one more Christmas there.” Mike took a step forward. “So, the way I see it, you could let the damn bank have that house.”
“And the farm?” Pete asked.
Mike slapped a hand on Pete’s shoulder. “Believe it or not, I love working on that farm. And I love selling trees! So the farm? You leave the farm to me.”
Hailey dragged her grocery bags up the long flight of stairs to the landing she shared with a neighbor she never saw and fished the key from her bag. The building was quiet, even for a weekday evening, but then it was Christmas Eve. Most people were celebrating with family and loved ones, visiting relatives, or buying last-minute gifts. The café would be closed tomorrow—a loss of profits that she couldn’t exactly afford, and for once, she was almost happy for the worry. It was a distraction from the thought of Pete packing up and heading back to Wisconsin.
The lot had still been lit up when she’d closed for the day, but as much as she wanted to walk over and see him, she knew that there was nothing left to say.
At least…not yet.
She hoisted the grocery bags in her arms, closed her front door with the toe of her boot, and dropped the bags on the counter in her kitchen. She unloaded the food, and, after considering her options for dinner, poured herself a bowl of cereal, knowing just how sad that was. A few months ago, she shared most of her meals with Lila and Mary or her cousin Claire. But they were all paired off now.
She tried not to let this sadden her as she finished her dinner standing in her kitchen and then walked into the bedroom to change into flannel pajamas, resigned to her lack of social life and her decision to stay in for the night.
She was just sitting down on her favorite armchair with her notes in hand when her buzzer rang. She frowned, wondering if Claire was stopping by on her way home from work to offer a little holiday cheer and, thinking of the bottle of white wine she had chilling in the fridge, eagerly crossed to the door and pressed the button to let her inside.
Heavy pounding from the first floor could be heard, and another sound, one she didn’t recognize, as if something was being dragged along the carpeted stairs. She pressed one eye to the peephole and then recoiled on instinct.
It wasn’t Claire at all. It was Pete.
She looked down at her pajama pants and then frantically around the room, wondering if she could hide, but knowing it was too late. She’d let him into the building, after all. And now she’d have to face him.
She opened the door before he could knock and looked at him steadily, even though her heart was doing jumping jacks at how handsome he looked. His eyes were darker than usual, his hair unkempt and wet from snow, but it was the sheepish grin that was her undoing. She swallowed back the pain that pulled in her chest, wishing so badly that things could be different, hoping in a way that they still could, but knowing it wasn’t entirely up to her, was it?
“Pete.” Her mouth felt dry, and she worried she might cry. “How did you know where I lived?”
“Turns out that Mike and Mandy have been talking,” Pete said, struggling to fight a smile. “And we’re their favorite topic of conversation.”
“Oh.” Hailey tried to think of everything she’d said to Mandy that might have been repeated and then decided that it didn’t matter .
This was Pete. The man who knew her inside and out, even now, after years apart.
“Hope you don’t mind me stopping by like this.” His grin slipped a little and damn it if that didn’t make her feel the space between them all the more. She wanted to reach out, kiss his mouth, taste his familiar lips. Instead, she looked at the tree he was holding, feeling her spirit deflate.
“You brought me a tree?”
“I know you didn’t have one for your apartment. By the way, Mandy told me to go with the medium size. Said you had plenty of room for it.”
Hailey pursed her lips, shaking her head. “Of course.” So, he wasn’t here to make things right. He was here to deliver a tree. One that hadn’t sold, and now, with the lot closed, never would.
It was his way of apologizing, she supposed. Of ending things on slightly better terms.
Seeing no other choice, she took a step back to let him pass. “The living room is just through the hall.” She hurried to keep up with him, to close the notebook that had kept her going these past few days. Her silly plans.
“Does here in front of the bay window work?” Pete asked over his shoulder as Hailey shoved her notes under a couch cushion.
“Sure,” Hailey said for lack of anything else. She didn’t want the tree in her apartment any more than she wanted Pete here. Not when he was just planning on leaving again. She frowned at him as he crouched down to adjust the tree stand he’d also brought with him. “Why are you doing this?”
He looked up in surprise, but when he saw her expression, his smile faded to reveal a sadness that almost matched her own. “It’s Christmas, and you said you didn’t have a tree.”
“Isn’t it a little late for a tree?” Christmas was, after all, tomorrow.
His gaze was steady. “I’d like to think that it’s never too late. For anything.”
Hailey could feel the blood rushing in her ears. “Is that why you’re here? To bring me a tree?”
He shook his head. “I needed an excuse to see you again.”
He finished adjusting the tree stand. The spruce—or fir, she didn’t know the difference but would never admit it, given that she could have learned something the other night and chose to just watch his beautiful mouth move instead—veered far to the left, but Pete stood anyway.
“I didn’t like the way we left things off the other day,” he said. “It was never the outcome I wanted. Not then. Not now.”
She bit her lip, trying to keep her wits about her, but she was dangerously close to letting out all the emotions she’d been holding in all week.
“It’s not what I ever wanted either. Pete, I—” She went to reach for the notes that she’d shoved under the cushion, but he wasn’t finished talking.
“I didn’t want you to give up on your dreams eight years ago. I wasn’t going to ask you to do it this time either. Your grandmother meant a lot to you, and what you did with the money she left you mattered. It still does.”
“It does, but the thing is Pete, that I was so busy thinking about what my Gran missed out on, that I stopped to think about what she gained. What she chose.”
He frowned at her, as if not following.
Hailey sighed. She’d been thinking about it ever since Sunday, and her talk with Mandy. When she finally felt the freedom to alter her course—something she hadn’t allowed herself to do until then.
“Gran grew up right here, in this neighborhood,” she told Pete, who nodded along. He knew all this, of course. “She used to bake for the church and the school and neighbors. She had big dreams to open a little bakery right here in this community.”
“I know, and you’ve done that, Hailey. Just like you always planned to do.” Pete gave her an encouraging smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes.
“All those years that I’d bake with her, I was so focused on what she didn’t get to do. That she never got to open the bakery. That she had to move out of the city. Out of state. And for some reason, I failed to see that no one forced her. She chose to go. She didn’t give up on her dream. She found a new one. She found love.”
Hailey blinked back tears, thinking of her sweet grandfather, who had passed five years before Gran. She thought of her mother, who never would have been born if Gran had decided to stay in Chicago and start that bakery instead of marrying the man she loved and following him to St. Louis.
“I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for Gran’s choices. And I know…” Her throat locked up when she remembered how it felt to stand beside the older woman in the kitchen, mixing batter, and licking spoons. “I know that her dream did come true. Just not the way she originally pictured it.”
“She loved you very much.” Pete’s voice was hoarse.
“But don’t you see?” Hailey was smiling now. “My dreams can change too. They have changed.”
“Mine haven’t,” he said, taking her by surprise. “All those things I wanted back then. Med school. My family’s security. You. I want it all.”
“You can have it all!” she said excitedly, reaching down to pull out her notebook. She handed it to him, pushing it forward until he was forced to take it.
“What is this?” He frowned and flipped to the first page.
“It’s research I’ve done on Timber Valley. There are a few storefronts for rent in town, and they don’t have a café or even a bakery, just a diner.”
He looked up at her in wonder. “You put all this together?”
“I don’t know if I can get a loan right now.” She probably couldn’t, given her lack of savings or collateral. “But I could help on the farm. Save up.”
“And give up everything you worked so hard to create here?” Pete shook his head and set the notebook down.
“But—” She stared up at him, wondering what he was trying to tell her. If he’d just come to let her down again, to say goodbye. But there would be no goodbye this time. She’d followed her dream for eight lonely years. Now she was ready to follow her heart.
“I can’t let you do it, Hailey,” he said firmly. “And…you don’t have to do it.”
“I know I don’t have to,” she started, but his smile made her stop.
“I’m going to reapply to med school,” he said. “Here. In Chicago.”
She stared at him, too shocked to even know what to say first. A hundred thoughts ran through her mind, but above them all she could hear one, resounding thought. Chicago. He was choosing to stay.
“You don’t have to,” she whispered.
“I want to,” he said.
“And the farm?” She couldn’t bear the thought of him losing it now when he’d sacrificed so much to keep it going.
“Mike’s going to handle the day-to-day running of the farm. He’s better suited for that type of thing.” He grinned. “I’m going to oversee the business end from here, while I go to school. And it turns out that my mom has been ready to sell the house for a while, so I don’t really have anywhere to live there anymore.”
“I see.” Hailey’s heart leaped into her throat. “So you’d need a new place. In a new city.”
“And I know the perfect neighborhood,” he said, stepping closer to her.
“You’re sure that’s what you want?” She had to know, she had to be sure. Just like he wanted to be sure she made the best choice eight years ago, she wanted him to do that now.
He took a step closer, wrapping two arms around her waist as he pulled her in close. He looked down, deep into her eyes, as he brushed a strand of hair from her forehead. “I finally have a chance of having everything I ever wanted.”
“A chance?” She frowned.
“There’s still one question.”
“What’s that?” she asked, feeling the beating of his heart against her chest. She held her breath, waiting for him to just kiss her already, but knowing that nothing was certain until he’d had his final say.
He grinned. “What do you want for Christmas?”
Hailey smiled through the salty tears that blurred her vision. “You. Just you.”