Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Jonah
The drive to Colorado Springs isn’t long, but Vivian is back to ignoring me, and it feels like we’ve lost any progress we’d gained.
Not that I blame him. I meant to tell him about Carolynda’s visit to the doctor, but I’d gotten distracted. After that, it never felt like the right time.
When I’m not obsessing about letting Vivian down, I’m picturing seven-year-old Vivian with his big eyes and unruly dark hair—I’ve seen pictures—getting his heart crushed by his asshole of a father.
I’ve only met his dad once, by accident.
And it wasn’t in person, thank God. Carolynda’s phone was ringing, and I’d answered it, thinking it was Vivian.
His father’s voice had been sharp. Unyielding.
“Who are you?”
“I’m…Jonah.”
“Your name tells me nothing.”
Carolynda grabbed the phone from my hand. “Renato? Jonah’s my stepson.”
At the time, I thought it explained everything. Vivian’s attitude. His disdain for me. He was just like his father.
But now, I know differently. How many times had I wished Vivian hadn’t moved in with us? Now, the thought of him there with that monster—I choke back my anger. Vivian doesn’t need my protection. He’s an adult now. He can take care of himself.
I catch Dad watching me. Right. Disappointing parents seems to be a theme this trip. If Dad reacted this strongly to me liking dolphins over horses…Jesus. How am I going to tell him I don’t want to take over the farm?
Dad stares at the road. His back is ramrod straight. Carolynda stares out the window. And behind me, Vivian is burrowed in his hoodie, listening to his music. It’s so loud that I can hear it.
The van is tense with unspoken words. Everyone is keeping secrets. What a wonderful family vacation.
It’s almost a relief when we arrive at Colorado Springs.
Until I remember why we’re here. I’d rather climb Pike’s Peak barefoot than go to a Pride parade.
Which sounds weird. And this isn’t even a full-on Pride event like Pridefest in San Diego.
This is just one of many celebrations they’ve planned for the month.
It’s a good way to ease into it. Only right now, with everyone so tense, I feel raw.
I’m not ready for this.
Vivian will fit right in. Unlike me. I know there’s no right way to be gay, but I still get self-conscious. Like people can tell I don’t know what I’m doing. That this is my first Pride event ever.
And Pride isn’t the only gay thing I have yet to experience.
But I won’t be sharing that information with Vivian.
As soon as the van stops, I jump out, needing to be free from the lingering tension. Vivian shoots me a look, and I know he’s not letting go of this anytime soon.
The parade is everywhere. Did they close off all of downtown?
Carolynda catches Maisy before she can run off. “Wait a minute.”
“Look, Mommy, a princess!” She points to a drag queen high in the air, towering over us. Her gown hides the stilts—or however she’s attaining her height. Maybe she has four-foot heels. With her long red hair and sparkly gown, she does look like a princess.
The floats seem to go on forever. There’s everything from clowns to mostly naked people to cannons shooting T-shirts into the crowd.
The people in the crowd are just as colorful. But there are also plenty of people in everyday clothes. Clothes that are closer to what I’m wearing. Two men in front of us share a quick kiss. One has a child of three or four on his shoulders. The atmosphere is open and friendly.
My shoulders relax. It’s going to be fine. I might even enjoy it.
Vivian places his hand on Carolynda’s arm. “Are you okay?”
She smiles. “I’m fine.”
He nods and darts a look at me. “If you’re good, Jonah and I are going to explore.”
“We are?” I can’t hide the surprise in my voice.
Carolynda beams, probably glad that for once we’re not fighting. “Have fun.”
“But keep your phones on.” Dad gives us both a pointed look. “If I call, you’d better answer.”
Have I ever ignored his call? No. “We will.”
“Come on.” Vivian grabs my arm and pulls me away.
My skin tingles at his touch and my heart flutters a little as if it believes Vivian actually wants us to spend time together.
My heart can believe what it wants. My brain knows better.
As soon as we’re away from the parents, Vivian is going to interrogate me.
Am I ready for that conversation?
He pulls me to a spot away from the crowds, but we can still see some of the parade. It helps that we’re tall enough to see over the crowds. At least I am.
Vivian swirls around, getting in my face, confirming my brain was spot on. “What’s going on?”
The sun feels hot on my skin. Hopefully, it hides the heat in my face. The intensity in his eyes has me shifting my stance. “Can we…eat first?”
“Now?”
I rub the back of my neck. “I’m hungry.”
“You’re always hungry, Jonah.” He lets out a frustrated sound that makes my hunger for food seem less important than my need to kiss him.
What the hell?
Focus on food, Jonah.
I bite my lip and bat my eyes. “Please?”
“Stop.”
“Stop what?” I ask innocently.
“Ugh. Fine.” He grabs my arm again and drags me around the crowd toward where the food trucks are set up.
The current between us is back, spreading from his hand to my arm and then the rest of my body. We slow our pace and people start to move out of our way. Vivian seems oblivious to the looks he’s getting.
He’s beautiful. I’ve known that since the day we met.
But I forget how startling it is for other people when they see him.
His dark hair and flawless complexion. His beautiful dark eyes.
Those impossible cheekbones. But it’s also the way he carries himself with confidence and a hint of vulnerability.
They can’t know Vivian’s real beauty. He’s intelligent. Sarcastic. Funny. And caring. I never realized until this trip how caring he is.
People stare at him, and it’s borderline rude. I used to blame him for that. As if he wanted all this attention and would do anything to get it. And when he didn’t acknowledge the staring, I assumed he thought he was too good for everyone else.
I was completely wrong. Vivian doesn’t want the attention. In fact, he often tries to hide himself.
My stomach growls in complaint. Too much heavy thinking before lunch.
We scan the food trucks, and after agreeing on barbecue, we head for the back of the line.
As we’re passing by a few guys, they reach out as if they’re going to touch him. I glare at them, and they hold out their hands in a no-worries type gesture. Thankfully, Vivian doesn’t notice.
The guy right in front of us is a blond Adonis. Seriously, it’s not fair that some people look this good. I mean, sure, it has something to do with working out and taking care of yourself, and skin care—according to Vivian—but some people just have that beautiful gene. Totally not fair.
And some people know how gorgeous they are, which takes their attractiveness down a notch or two for me.
“Hey there, gorgeous,” the Adonis says to Vivian, looking him up and down.
I resist the urge to growl at him, but I do turn my arm so I can grab Vivian’s hand.
His gaze shifts to me, and instead of getting the hint to fuck off, his gaze roams over me.
What the hell? The Adonis nods and—wait, is he interested in both of us? Together? As in a threesome?
My brain seems to disengage from my mouth. Not that I’m interested, but I’ve never had anyone even consider it before.
Vivian’s flippant attitude is gone, replaced by sharp awareness. He pulls me closer. “Fuck off,” he says to the Adonis.
Thankfully, we’ve reached the front, and it’s the guy’s turn to order.
When it’s our turn, we order our food, and once we get it, we search for a place in the shade to eat. I’ve already scarfed down my food by the time we stop.
Vivian stares at me. “How?”
I shrug. “I’m a growing boy.”
He closes his eyes for a second. “You can’t say things like that. Not in this crowd.”
That makes no sense. Who would be interested in me? Especially with Vivian around?
He pushes my face to the side, where a blond twink is eyeing me.
“Hey, there,” the twink says with a coy look on his face. “I’d love to help you grow.”
“He’s taken,” Vivian says, pulling me closer and glaring at the guy.
After he flounces off, Vivian looks at me. I’m still staring at him.
“Oh. Sorry.” He shrugs one shoulder. “You looked uncomfortable. If you’re interested, I can call him back.”
Why would I be interested in him? Vivian practically claimed me. But he must misread my inability to get my brain and mouth to work together because he drops my hand and walks away.
Fuck. I run after him, but Jesus, he’s fast when he wants to be. I finally catch up to him. Grabbing his shoulder, I turn him around. “Stop, Vivian.”
He stares at me, looking unsure and more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen. “What?”
“Don’t walk away from me.” I realize how that sounds, but Vivian always responds better when my voice is commanding. This time is no different.
Except we’re surrounded by people. A couple of drag queens step closer, and that’s when I realize how this looks. I’m taller than Vivian. Bigger. And acting like a brute.
“It’s fine. We’re fine.” I’m trying to appease them, but not for the reason they think. I’m trying to save them from Vivian. He doesn’t like anyone trying to protect him.
Especially when it’s not warranted.
“Is this guy bothering you, sweetheart?” the blond asks. Her wig has long spiral curls. And her face is adorned with gorgeous makeup and a full beard.
“Him?” Vivian asks with a smirk. “He’s a bit clueless sometimes, but otherwise harmless.”
“Harmless?” The other queen has brown hair with blond highlights piled on her head. I really don’t understand how they aren’t melting in this heat. She studies me, but I’m not sure what she’s looking for. “Maybe you should move along, sweetie. Find someone else to bother.”
What? I would never hurt Vivian.
“He’s fine.” Vivian smiles at them. And I’m surprised he isn’t yelling, but I guess their hearts are in the right place.
“You don’t have to put up with this, honey. Meatheads like this think pretty things are theirs for the taking.”
Vivian smirks. “You’re not wrong about that. Except this meathead is with me.”
The blond queen laughs and then stops. “Wait, you’re serious?” She gives me another once-over.
“Well, this has been fun.” I turn to leave.
“What’s your problem?” Vivian asks.
But when I turn to answer him, he’s staring at the bearded queen. Oh.
She holds up her hands. “We just wanted to make sure you didn’t need help.”
“Exactly. We didn’t mean anything by it. We just thought—well, besides the obvious that you’re champagne and he’s craft beer at best—”
“I think I’ve had enough fun for one day.” I turn to leave, but Vivian grabs my hand and won’t let go.
“Want to try that again?” Vivian asks, giving them a warning look.
“There’s no…chemistry. Right, Laverne?”
“Exactly. That’s why we thought…you know. You might be in trouble.”
I can’t blame them. Who would believe Vivian and I were together? I mean, we’re not—
Vivian grabs my shoulders and steps into my personal space. I can’t even back up without being super obvious.
“What are you doing?” I ask in a low voice, a smile plastered on my face. But my heart is hammering away.
“Proving a point.”
My smile drops. “A point?”
And then Vivian yanks me closer and kisses me.