Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Vivian
I’m proving a point, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what it is.
Kissing Jonah is like finally exhaling after holding my breath for too long.
His firm lips against mine. This need for more.
Always more. It takes me a minute to realize Jonah isn’t moving.
Or participating. Oh God. Did I read everything wrong?
I pull back and drop my arms. His eyes are shut. His lips parted slightly.
“I just don’t see it, Laverne.”
“Maybe he needs some training wheels. Start small. Baby gays don’t always know what they want.”
She clicks her tongue. “That is so true.”
They give me knowing smiles, and I expect one of them to pat me on the head and say, “There, there, honey.” If that happens, I swear I’ll go nuclear, grab them by the wigs, and—
Jonah growls, and it gets their attention. It also gets my dick’s attention, but when I look at Jonah, he’s not looking at the queens. His eyes are intent on my face.
Determined.
Oh. My legs feel weak as Jonah wraps one hand possessively around my nape and claims me with his mouth.
The previous spark explodes into a thousand little sparks of pleasure as he kisses me hard.
My mouth opens, and he slides his tongue in, owning every part of our kiss.
Owning me. When he pulls back, his breathing is ragged and his pupils are blown. His gaze caresses my skin.
He’s too far away. I need his lips on mine. Nothing else matters.
“Oh, honey.” The blond queen fans herself. “I see it now. Right, Laverne?”
“Absooluuuutely. Phew, it’s hot out today.”
“Positively scorching.”
“Let’s go.” Jonah takes my hand and pulls me away. I have no idea where we’re going, but I don’t care. I’m still processing what just happened.
Is there a code word or a button to activate this side of Jonah? If so, I need to learn it. Memorize it. But right now, I’m struggling to remember my own name.
Jonah pulls me away from the crowds. The worry on his face seems out of place. “Vivian?”
Right, that’s my name. Vivian. “Yes?”
“I’m so sorry,” he says in a soft voice. His head drops. Sweet Jonah is back, and while I like this side of Jonah more than I should, I really, really like the hulked-up version.
I grab his face, so he has to look at me. “You can’t kiss me like that and apologize.”
He grins, and some of the tension leaves my body. “Is that a rule or something?”
“Yes. There are rules, Jonah. And you need to learn them. Before Pridefest.” I’m mostly joking, but also not.
His gaze drops to my mouth. “Are you my teacher?”
Any oxygen left in my brain is gone. The thought of teaching Jonah—
“Hey! I’ve been looking for you guys,” George says, sounding out of breath as he reaches us. Jonah and I take a step away from each other.
“What’s going on, Dad?”
“We need to go.” He turns to me, and the hesitancy in his voice sets off alarm bells. “Your mom isn’t feeling well. I think it’s the heat.”
Right. This was the reason I’d pulled Jonah aside in the first place. What the hell is going on?
Instead of going to the hospital like I wanted, we’re on our way to Durango. Mom insisted she was fine, so George is in the back with her and Jonah is driving. Screaming at everyone wouldn’t help, but this need to do something claws at me. Consumes me.
“Are you okay?” Jonah asks, his voice low and hesitant.
“Everyone in this family is keeping something from me, so no, Jonah. I am not fucking okay.”
His eyes dart to me and back to the road. “Not Maisy.”
I suck in a breath and stare at him. What the hell? My body trembles with barely restrained frustration, needing a target. “I swear to fucking God, Jonah—”
His hand lands on my arm. Strong and sure. “Sorry. That was supposed to be a joke.”
“A joke?” I ask, my voice rising higher.
Jonah squeezes my arm, his eyes checking the rearview mirror. “I’m sorry.”
Going off on him won’t help. I swallow the lump in my throat and take a deep breath. When I can talk without yelling, I ask in a low voice, “What’s going on with my mom?”
He watches me for a moment. “I don’t know.”
And that’s it. I’m done. “Stop fucking lying to me.” On any other day, it would be laughable. The amount of lies I’ve told him alone…but this isn’t any other day.
“Stop yelling at me,” he counters, “and I’ll tell you what I do know.”
“I’m not— Fine. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” His voice is teasing, and I just can’t handle that right now. The way he kissed me. Took charge…nope.
The mountains in the background are dark and majestic, and they remind me of Jonah and the look on his face at the Pride parade. As if he’d scorch the earth to save me. I press my palm against my eyes.
“Vivian?”
I nod, afraid to open my mouth in case all my thoughts spill out.
He releases my arm, and I feel the loss immediately. But he needs his hands to drive, so I wait as he takes a breath and then another. “Remember when I detailed the car?”
I remember after—changing the oil, his hands guiding mine. Nope, not going there. “Yes. Of course.”
“When I got back, Dad and your mom were leaving. He said they were going to the”—his voice drops even lower—“doctor.”
“What?” I ask way too loudly. He motions for me to keep it down, but it’s not easy when I want to scream at everyone.
“He said it was routine. But it didn’t feel routine.”
“Is she going to—” I can’t even put my thoughts into words. “It must be bad if they aren’t telling us, right?”
“I don’t know. And I hate that they’re keeping it a secret. We should just ask them.”
“I agree. But not yet.” Mom’s sleeping peacefully. And truthfully? I’m a fucking coward. If it’s bad news, I don’t want to hear it. Not yet.
“I’m sorry.” He takes my hand and squeezes. And when he tries to let go, I hold on.
It’s late by the time we get to Durango.
And since we didn’t call for a late check-in—Mom takes care of those things—we get whatever they have available.
Mom doesn’t say anything as we’re unloading the car, which is unusual in itself, but then her eyes go wide, and she rushes to a row of bushes and throws up.
Dad stays with her until she’s done. “I’m taking Carolynda to the room. Can you boys take care of everything?” He nods to the van and Maisy.
“We’ve got it, Dad.”
He nods and guides her to the door.
I stare after them, fear paralyzing me. What if it’s as bad as I think?
“I want Mommy.” Maisy’s sobs help me unstick. Jonah’s trying to get her out of the van, but she darts away from him.
“That’s where we’re going. To see Mommy.”
Her face is set in a mulish look I know fairly well. Jonah only sees her during the holidays and when he has a free weekend to come home.
“Let me.” I smile at him to show I’m not trying to take over.
He sighs and moves out of the way. “Hey, cupcake. Your carriage is ready to take you to the room.” I turn my back toward her and she grabs on with a hiccupping giggle.
Her arms wind tight around my neck, and she wipes her face on my shirt. It’s Versace, but I don’t say anything.
Jonah’s grinning at me, so I’m sure he noticed. “Don’t forget the dragon princess.”
We get Maisy settled and raid the vending machines. A ginger ale for Mom, a water for Dad, and candy for Maisy. The girl deserves a Reese’s Cup. She’s had a rough day. After grabbing our stuff from the van, we finally make it to our room.
I’m beyond exhausted as I follow Jonah through the door. He stops so suddenly that I run into him. My hand goes to his back, and the feel of his firm muscles distracts me for a moment, but then his words register.
“What the fuck?”
“Is there a problem with the room?” I ask, moving around him. Then I stop and stare. The bed takes up most of the room. It looks comfy as hell, so that’s not the problem.
“There’s only one bed.”
My heart pounds so hard I can almost hear every beat. Is that fear? Or excitement? Doesn’t matter. I can’t do this without help.
I tug on his arm. “Come on, let’s go.”
“Where are we going?”
“The front desk.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not sure complaining will do us any good.”
“We’re not going there to complain. I need recommendations.”
He stops and raises his brows. “Recommendations for what?”
“This day has gone completely to shit. Now that we’ve taken care of everyone else, it’s time to take care of ourselves.” I roll my hand in a let’s-go gesture. “And right now, I need alcohol.”