Chapter Thirteen
So many men fantasized about kissing Synamon Honey, and I considered myself the luckiest bear on earth that actually got to feel what like it was like to have her soft, curvy body in my arms.
But I couldn’t lie—it was also the most terrifying thing I’d ever done. Even though this woman was flesh and blood, with soft lips and a thundering heart, there was a real chance this kiss could shatter the fantasy.
She’d starred in many of them, especially since we moved into this tiny cabin, but now, nothing about us was possibility anymore. We’d dragged it into this realm as our lips danced and our tongues tangled to the rhythm of our heartbeats. She wouldn’t let me down, but—
Could I be what she needed? Was I man enough to be Synamon Honey’s mate? Could I erase her fear as easily as I’d wiped away her makeup? Would I make her regret revealing her true self to me, and make her retreat even further?
All those questions hung heavily between us as the kiss broke and she blinked back to consciousness.
“I like that,” she said softly. “A lot.”
My heart swelled. Synamon wasn’t a woman of many words unless a camera was on her. Fuck, it was going to be so much fun to watch her blossom into the woman she wanted to be. To help her give herself permission to go balls to the wall with this.
But for now, I’d play it cool. She was still fragile, in the fawn state, and I couldn’t scare her away. “I did too.”
She looked around the tiny bathroom, and I felt a sense of déjà vu for the first time I’d brought her to a tiny room—the storage closet at The Redhead Stepchild.
She won’t run this time, my bear insisted, but I wasn’t so sure.
Let her take the lead, he said.
I wanted to argue with him that was dangerous, but my way almost got her abducted. The incredible woman standing in front of me wasn’t the only one who had an anxious attachment with control.
“That changed things,” she said with a chuckle.
“Yeah.” Ugh…now I was the awkward one. Okay. I needed a minute.
She didn’t kiss me because she thought I didn’t know what I was doing. She welcomed me in because I made her feel safe.
We were a team now.
She tipped her head, and I was close to destroying that trust.
“I’m trying not to make this weird, and I’m not doing a very good job at it,” I finally confessed.
Her bare face brightened. “That’s okay, I’m fluent in weird.” She laughed. “Maybe we should get out of the bathroom?”
“Absolutely.” Between setting up the equipment, my private Synamon Honey performance, and that kiss, I’d totally lost track of time and was surprised to find the rest of the cabin had darkened. “Are you hungry?”
“Starving,” she said enthusiastically. “Performing always makes me ravenous.”
“No wonder that peach cobbler video went viral.” I teased as I considered the plan. “I can grill some stuff. Wanna help me get everything together?”
“Of course.” She followed me to the kitchen. “Wait, you’ve seen the peach cobbler video?”
“Yeah,” I scoffed as I pulled the hamburgers and hot dogs out of the refrigerator. “It’s required Synamon Honey viewing. You won’t understand the rest of the videos if you haven’t seen the one the legend was built from.”
Her lips parted. “I thought you said you’d never heard of me before The Redheaded Stepchild.”
“I hadn’t.” I couldn’t leave it at that. She deserved the truth. “But the minute I laid eyes on you, I knew exactly who you were.”
She furrowed her brow and looked away. Shit, I’d gone too far.
“I felt it too,” she confessed. “That’s what scared me.”
Did you hear that? my bear asked. She knows she’s your mate.
I did, but the declaration was made of glass. I didn’t trust myself not to break it.
“Now you know why I couldn’t let the case go,” I said as I gathered the food onto a tray.
And now you know why she trusted you, even if she couldn’t show it right away.
She followed me outside with the bread and the condiments.
So many thoughts were swirling in my head.
When I was in my element, in the forest, I didn’t doubt anything.
I relied on instinct to get the job done.
But in Granger Falls, and especially in this cabin alone with this woman, there was an entirely different set of rules.
What if there isn’t? Your instincts got you this far. Trust them, my bear urged.
I lit the grill and took a seat at the table while it heated. Synamon pulled up the chair beside me, put her elbows on the table, rested her chin on her hands, and gave me a camera-worthy grin.
My cock hardened so quick it could’ve knocked the table right into the fire.
“So you’ve watched the peach cobbler video,” she said. “How many others have you seen?”
I leaned in. The sweet little bear wanted to play, and I’d never deny my mate. “I’ve been working through your catalog.” Fuck, that sounded stupid. “You’re pretty prolific.”
“Working through the catalog,” she repeated thoughtfully, showcasing exactly how cringe that statement actually had been. She narrowed her eyes. “What does that mean?”
“I watch the videos when I can.” I swallowed hard.
She raised a brow. “You mean, you’ve watched my videos since we’ve been here?”
I nodded.
Her face lit up. “Tell me more about that.”
“I watch them before I go to sleep.” It was on the tip of my tongue to add and dream about all the things I’d do to you.
Before my bear had a chance to talk me into saying that, she said, “So you’re watching them in bed.”
“Yeah.” My voice was rough. I wanted to kiss her again. But this time, it wouldn’t be so sweet. I’d grab a fist full of that sweatshirt, pull it over her head, and throw it into the fire. It wouldn’t be the only thing that burned.
My bear liked that idea, a lot…but I had to remind him things were still made of glass.
“I asked you to tell me more, bear,” her voice dripped with that namesake honey, like she was starring in a video made just for me. “You can’t drop a bomb like that and withhold the juicy details.”
“Every night, I wait until I’m pretty sure you’re asleep—”
She bristled, breaking the spell. “How do you know I’m asleep?” Her tone was all anxious Ellie.
Okay…there was something to that we needed to go deeper on, but not yet. Not tonight. I’d just had to force myself to remember it when my cock was semi hard and her taste still lingered on my tongue.
“The cabin’s quiet, and I assume you’ve gone to sleep,” I clarified.
She visibly relaxed. Yeah, something happened there. It wasn’t the Centerfold Slasher that was after her. Or I should clarify, not only the Centerfold Slasher.
Keep going with this, my bear said. She likes that you watch her videos.
“Then I get into bed—”
“What do you wear to bed?” she asked.
“Just my boxers. What about you?”
She shook her head. “This isn’t about me. This is you telling me how you watch my videos. Continue.”
No wonder she was famous. No wonder men would do anything to get close to her. I’d fallen in love with the most dangerous woman on earth. She had me eating out of her hand, and I had to keep my wits about me if I had any hope in hell of saving her.
“I put in my earbuds and pick a video.”
She waved her hand, encouraging me to continue.
“And I keep watching them until you drive me over the edge.” Which she was about to do now. “I should probably start cooking.”
“Not so fast.” She grinned. “Just so I understand correctly, Brad, you just said that while I’m sleeping, you’ve been jerking off to my Only Bears videos.”
“When you put it like that, it makes me sound like a creep.”
“I think it’s kinda hot, actually,” she said, and it was the most real she’d ever been with me. “Which one’s your favorite?”
Easy. “When you debate who’s the best guitarist of the era—Eddie Van Halen or Slash.”
“Yeah, that one was fun. The Slash wig, figuring out how to position the washi tape on my body to look like Eddie’s guitar.” She grinned as I groaned. “Would you like to weigh in on this issue?”
I took the opportunity to rise from the chair, carefully, before we lost the flame and we’d have nothing to feast on but each other. And I had my hands full with this woman, I needed to keep my wits about me.
You wish your hands were full of this woman, my bear said.
“There’s no comparison. Eddie paved the way for Slash, but then Slash carved his own path. They’re both geniuses.”
“I didn’t expect such a safe answer from you.”
I glanced over my shoulder. “We need to give a nod to Nuno too.”
“Absolutely.” Her face brightened. “He’s just not a household name. Should be, but for the sake of streamlining the video, because nothing’s sexy about having to give people lessons in good musical taste.”
“Too bad, you could’ve turned them on to some great music,” I said. “You didn’t disclose your opinion at the end of the video—you left it for everyone to battle about in the comments.”
“Gotta keep that engagement high.” She laughed. “I love Slash, don’t get me wrong, but Eddie will always be the king. Slash is iconic because what he adds to the song, but you can strip everything away from Eddie’s guitar and it’s legendary all on its own.”
“What got you so obsessed with the 80’s? You weren’t even born yet.”
“You don’t know that.”
I raised a brow. “I stand corrected. But will hold the line you were too young to fully appreciate them in the moment.”
She stared at the flame rising between the grill grates for a moment before answering. My heart sank. Synamon didn’t have to overthink or mentally rehearse her answers, but I had a feeling Ellie did.
Be patient with her, my bear urged. She might be trying to share something she’s blocked herself from.
He was right. And it made me more eager to find out who made her so unable to trust herself so I could wring his neck.
“I was raised on everything 80’s,” she finally said. “My mom always had her tapes going and I used to fight with my sister about who got to choose the next one. And my dad loved horror movies.” She softened. “We used to have movie night in the backyard.”
“That sounds fun,” I said. “Tell me more.”
“Dad would cook on the grill—just like this—and set up tents and Mom would get so annoyed we’d want to drag all the good blankets out to the yard.
He’d say, we’re bears. It’s okay if there’s a little grass in the bed.
” She chuckled after lowering her voice to mimic his words.
“And we’d have popcorn and s’mores and snuggle against them when things got scary.
Of course, the movies weren’t that scary when we were that young.
Then at some point, we’d fall asleep and wake up in our regular beds, with the blankets and grass. ”
This was the first time she’d mentioned her family. “What happened when you were older?”
“We stopped doing it.” She sat ramrod straight in her chair. “So to answer your question, I love the 80’s because it’s the last era that was truly experimental. Where people weren’t afraid to push the boundaries as far as they could go. Before they started being afraid of breaking the rules.”
She’d changed the subject so fast I had to steady myself from the whiplash. But the second part of the answer was just as important as the part she hadn’t wanted to share.
To Ellie, the 80’s were safe and dangerous at the same time. To Synamon, they were the perfect playground in a place that existed only in her memory and imagination.
I took the meat off the grill and brought the plate over to the table. The air had cooled, and steam curled between us, smoothing the edges of Synamon’s trauma and my desire.
The two things would meet and set her free. I made that promise to myself as much as I did to her.
Synamon reached for a bun and then speared a hot dog with a fork. She glanced up at me as squirted mustard down the middle of her meal with question in her eyes.
I swallowed hard. We’d come so far today and with my next question, I could destroy it all.