Chapter Fifteen
My mouth watered as the scent of Synamon’s arousal tangled with her regular berry vanilla aroma. My cock was like a kickstand. Sweet moon, did I want her, but more importantly, she wanted this.
She wanted me.
It wasn’t just some wild fantasy. She could play whatever role she dreamed up, but the heat radiating from her body didn’t lie.
It would be so easy to just...
She’s not ready.
What the fuck, bear? I groaned inwardly but deep down, I knew he was right. That kiss had felt like smashing through a concrete wall. This woman wasn’t a fling, and she wasn’t some online fantasy. Not some pack bunny I took to Red Heaven when I wanted to play.
She was my mate.
And as much as my cock might explode, pulling her into my lap and letting her ride me like a bucking bronco was wrong.
Figure out how to make it right, my bear groaned.
Trust me, I will, bear. For both of us.
Her eyes were big, unblinking, and her gaze was fixed on me, daring me to take her up on her offer.
“When was the last time you, uh...”
She sat back and let out an exasperated sigh, accessorized by an epic eyeroll. I couldn’t be annoyed because that was exactly how I was feeling too.
“Leave it to me to hit on a hot bear and get shut down.”
The corners of my mouth twitched. Because fuck yes, she thought I was hot, but she was desperately trying to avoid answering my questions. Keep hiding. And when I did give in and give her what she was asking for, she wouldn’t be hiding anything.
“What about your fiancé? Was he a bear?”
She shook her head in disgust. “I don’t want to talk about him right now.”
“That makes two of us.” I chuckled. “But we have to.”
“We don’t have to right now. It could wait while we did other things.”
She was hellbent on making this absolutely impossible. I took a deep breath. The scent of her desire was about to short circuit my fucking brain. “When we do other things, I want to make sure you’re with me, not trying to distract me.”
Her mouth set in a hard line as she raked her gaze over me. “Then maybe I’ll withhold information until the big bad bear comes and gets it.”
Give the woman what she’s begging for, my bear insisted. Since when is it acceptable to make your mate beg you to fuck her?
Since she’d just come up with another infuriating game to keep us spinning in this loop of denial. We couldn’t stay here forever, and if I couldn’t get the most basic information out of her, Barrett would rip me off this case.
You’re thinking about work at a time like this? My bear groaned.
Yes, I was—I was a bodyguard. Her bodyguard. I vowed to keep this woman safe. And some of that was being able to provide for her.
You don’t need that job. They needed you, remember?
I couldn’t entertain my animal and this wild woman at the same time. They’d wear me down. Instead, I pushed away from the table and rose from the chair.
“Suit yourself,” I growled as I walked away from her.
It took everything I had not to look over my shoulder to see her reaction. If she was shocked that I actually walked away from her, pissed that I had the nerve, or satisfied because she knew I was playing right into her hands.
Whatever the answer was, I was too pissed to do anything about it right now.
At first, I’d been relieved that she wanted to identify as Synamon.
I thought that would make her free, brave, the fullest expression of herself.
But I had no idea how frustrating it would be to share a cabin with Synamon Honey.
I had no idea if all of this was an act.
If she was flirting with me or following a script.
I needed to run.
I pulled off my shirt. Nope, still wouldn’t turn around to see if she was watching.
But I wanted to, I admitted to myself as I shed the rest of my clothes.
It felt damn good to be a bear. I couldn’t go far, because no matter how pissed and frustrated I was, I was still on duty. Guarding her. Keeping her safe.
Maybe I’d do a better job at it as a bear than I was as a human.
If I failed this time, I failed her.
So I couldn’t fail.
I perched on the edge of the forest, watching her, hoping when she disappeared into the cabin, she’d come out as a bear and join me.
But she didn’t.
The night grew dark and cold, and I cooled off enough to go back to the cabin.
Or so I thought, because I was assaulted by her scent as soon as I opened the front door.
All the filming equipment was still set up, looking like a slap in the fucking face. I had Synamon Honey all to myself and she’d never felt further away.
I was stark naked and wanting, and all I could think about was knocking on her bedroom door.
* * *
There was only so long I could lay in bed not sleeping, trying to think about anything but the woman in the next room. And only so much longer I’d be able to keep the desire at bay. I had to do something with all this pent-up, misdirected...I didn’t even know what it was.
Energy? Frustration? Whatever it was, I couldn’t let it turn into regret.
The sun was up, the birds were chirping, and I coaxed myself into my pants and went outside. Still feeling more bear than man, I eyed the wood pile.
No way we’d still be here when we needed to use the fireplace, but the only thing that would stop the vision of ravaging Synamon Honey in front of that fire was taking an ax to the pile.
It felt good, straining my muscles, working up enough of a sweat to peel off my shirt, and enough noise to drown out my thoughts.
“Five years.”
The words startled me so much I almost dropped the ax on my foot.
I did the thing I’d resisted so hard yesterday—turned around to find Synamon standing there. Those big, vulnerable eyes let a little Ellie peek through. She was barefaced but far from innocent, and wearing an oversized hoodie and leggings.
“Five years for what?” I asked.
She swallowed hard. ”Since I was with my fiancé.”
I raised a brow, choosing my words carefully because this early morning confession was nothing short of a breakthrough. “Five years since you’ve been with anyone?”
Impossible. She’s oozing with sensuality. Sexuality. Raw animal magnetism.
But she nodded.
My mouth dropped before I could stop it.
“It’s not that bad. I found other ways to take care of the issue.” She raised a brow playfully.
I groaned inwardly. Apparently, we were still playing the Synamon Honey game, but I’d made progress.
“One of these days I’ll ask for details. But right now, I want to know more about your fiancé.”
“Oh, no.” She sat in the chair on the edge of the clearing and crossed her legs in a way that made me imagine she was wearing nothing but pasties and a thong—it had the same effect on me. “I still have questions for the big bad bear.”
I put the ax down. “Let’s hear them.”
“When was your last time?” She held her hand up as I opened my mouth to answer. “Hold on, I need to add a caveat. Your last time with someone you cared about?”
I cocked a brow. “You think I’m a player?”
She laughed. “Why wouldn’t you be? Have you seen yourself? You’re hot as hell. You probably have women crawling all over you.”
There was only one woman I wanted anywhere near me. Before I told her that, we needed to clarify the rules of the Synamon Honey game.
“I’d love to answer your question, but I’m never sure if I’m talking to you or a character.” I sighed as I raked my hand through my hair.
Her face fell. It sounded much worse out loud than it did in my head. I had a feeling it was game over.
“It’s weird for me too,” she said candidly. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to hold my tongue. Be polite. Professional.” She made air quotes and shook her head with disgust. “Or worse, just be Ellie.”
“Since you’ve been here?”
“No. Well, maybe it is a little bit of a role.” She scraped her teeth over her bottom lip, a move that made her look lost and innocent.
“I’m still getting comfortable with who Synamon actually is.
I don’t usually get to be this person in real life.
So it might be a little weird, but I haven’t said anything I didn’t mean. Or want.”
I swallowed hard, hoping the energy those words sent rocking through my body would go to my throat and not my cock. But I didn’t know how to tell her I understood without sounding condescending or making it all about me.
She knows, my bear said. That’s why she’s so comfortable with your awkward ass.
“Would you rather I wasn’t like this?” she asked when I took too long to answer.
“No,” I said quickly. “Fuck no. I want you to be yourself.”
“Thank you,” she said softly, and tipped her head. “Will you answer my question? I want to know more about you besides your work history gives you a knack for showing up anytime I’m in deep shit.”
Getting her to acknowledge that much was huge. “Something tells me this isn’t the first time you’ve been in trouble.”
And no one came for her.
Because they weren’t her mate, my bear reminded me, somewhat quelling the rage that thought had stoked.
Her mouth set in a hard line. That victory was short lived. She was pissed.
“Guess I walked into that one.”
“Am I right?” I asked.
“You still haven’t answered my question, bear.” Her energy changed, and she rose from the chair.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” I said as she turned to walk away.
She headed toward the cabin.
“And it’s been a while,” I added.
Those words stopped in her dead in her tracks. I’d figured out one of the rules of the Synamon Honey game, but it was time to set some of my own.
She turned, meeting my gaze. Waiting for more.
Now I understood why she’d wanted to fuck her way out of talking about the truth.
“Maybe never,” I finally said. “Because I knew they weren’t my mate.”
The silence hung like a wrecking ball between us. It wasn’t the first time I'd told her who she was—but this was different. Like a culmination of the tension that was so heavy between us.
I wanted nothing more than to stalk over to her, take her in my arms, and carry her to the first available bed. My blood burned—I wouldn’t make it that far.
I could push her against the side of the cabin, pull that sweatshirt over her head, and...
No. I needed to stay focused. This was an active case.
But sweet moon, did I not want to.
“I guess I could say the same thing,” she said softly.
I didn’t understand. “That it’s been a while?”
She shook her head. “No. That I’ve never been with anyone I really cared about.”
“What about your fiancé?” I asked.
“On paper he was perfect,” she said. “Rich, well-positioned, will probably be governor someday.”
“So you were with him for the status?”
“Maybe we should go inside,” she said, her gaze shifting back and forth, like she expected to see the Centerfold Slasher come around the corner. “Before I change my mind and decide not to tell you this.”
I nodded, and ushered her inside. We settled on the couch, but with all the filming equipment, it felt like we’d step into a confessional segment on The Real Werewives.
“It was all Ellie’s doing,” she began. “Let’s face it, she’s too practical to do anything as frivolous as to fall in big, stupid love. But you know what gave her a lady boner? What Kevin could do for her.”
This was still the Synamon Honey show—but I realized she wasn’t being something she wasn’t. This woman was naturally brash and unapologetic. And because I saw her through the lens of this woman who thought it was practical to marry for money and status, I hadn’t let myself believe it.
But if I had any chance of getting her to detonate what could be the truth bomb that solved this case. I needed to play along.
Big bad bear at your service, mate.
“So what about this guy sent Ellie over the edge?” I asked.
We were just inches from each other. I was still shirtless and feeling feral so soon after my unsatisfying shift. And her scent was more intense than it had ever been.
She repositioned herself, creating space between us. She probably didn’t mean it for it to be sexy, but I was in her vortex, swaying with the rhythm, and everything she did was foreplay.
“There’s this subdivision, about ten miles west of Boise. Used to be shifter land, until those shifters got swindled out of what rightfully belonged to them.”
I nodded. “Is that why your family movie nights suddenly stopped?”
Her eyes darkened. Spending so much time in the forest, I knew that look all too well, like she’d locked into her prey in the wild.
“My parents have never recovered.” Her voice was tipped with a growl.
“They live in a trailer now. My dad is a shell of the bear that he used to be. And my mom...she’s just heartbroken, trying to hold everything together.
She makes the best of things, but she can’t bring back what was taken from them.
” Her jaw set in a hard line, and I was seeing a whole new side of this woman. “And apparently, neither could I.”
Things were starting to come together. “What does your fiancé have to do with it?”
“Ex-fiancé,” she corrected. “His dad fucked over my clan. And I vowed I would return the favor.”
Hot damn. I’d been convinced Ellie was the sweet and innocent side of Synamon’s personality, but I had it all wrong. She was a stone-cold vigilante hellbent on revenge.