19. Gage
GAGE
Jesus, I’m more than a little concerned. Charli showed up here dripping wet and crying. She’s improved a little after taking a hot shower and eating something. It broke a piece of my heart to see her in such a fragile state. But she didn’t say what was bothering her.
Of course I’ll stay with her tonight if she doesn't want to be alone. I can sleep on her floor or that tiny couch she has. Sleepovers aren’t something I usually do.
But, she’s got me worried. I go through the motions of checking the boat and making sure she’s secure for the night while Charli sits as still as a statue in the cabin waiting for me.
Her eyes are still puffy and I feel completely helpless, my heart in my throat and my gut tight.
I want her to be okay. I’ll do whatever she needs.
There’s no one out on the road as we make the short drive over, the neighborhood eerily quiet and her apartment dark. We enter her place wordlessly, and she turns to me in the entryway. “Can you lock up while I use the bathroom?”
“Sure.” I close up and everything is all set.
She breezes past me, smelling minty. “I’m going to go lay down. Are you ready for bed?”
Fuck. Does she mean sleep or something else? “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Locking myself in the bathroom, I wash up. I stare at myself in the mirror, thoughts racing in my mind. Sleepovers are a no for me. But is this a sleepover? I’m staying here for the night. As her friend. But I want more than friendship. Fuck.
Pausing at her bedroom door, I look around, as I haven’t been in here before.
She’s got a queen bed with a white quilt and lots of pillows.
There’s long white curtains framing the windows with a chair in the corner.
Two dressers and matching bedside tables round out the room and a fan whirs next to the bed. So fucking cozy.
“Come lay down,” she says, her voice small in the darkness.
My pulse quickens. She’s still in my clothes, and it does something to me, knowing she’s not wearing anything underneath there. But this isn’t the time for it, because she’s upset about something.
She turns and fluffs the pillow for me and pats the bed.
I pull my shirt off over my head and toss it on the chair. She blinks at me, looking surprised.
“Do you mind if I take my shirt off?” I ask, suddenly self-conscious. She probably thinks I’m going to make a move.
“Oh, no, sorry. It’s fine,” she stammers. Her eyes linger on me nonetheless.
I sink into the mattress and we settle in together. She rolls to her side and lets out a deep sigh. I lie back stiffly on the pillow and hold my breath. Shit. I don’t know what to do now. She’s not saying anything and I don’t want to mess up.
“Can you hold me?”
My dick twitches with excitement. Fuck. Not now. I roll gently and place my hand on her waist. “Is that okay?”
She huffs. “Gage, I want you to spoon me.” She leans back and grabs my hand while scooting into me, her backside fully flush with my front.
I cannot get aroused. Damn. She pulls my arm across her belly and interlaces our fingers and sighs into the pillow.
Then tucks our hands right up under her tits.
Fuck. She smells like herself and me at the same time.
“Do you want to talk about anything?” I ask tentatively.
She sighs. “My ex texted me that he met someone, and I got more upset than I thought I would.”
I swear my heart stops beating. What am I, a place-holder? I can’t go down that road again. She must feel me stiffen at her comment.
“I don’t want to get back together with him,” she says, squeezing my hand.
A lump forms in my throat. “But what happened?”
“I guess I never really got upset when we broke up. Maybe it was built up or something.”
“Are you feeling better now?”
“I went for a run, then I went for a swim and . . .” She stifles a yawn. “I’m really glad that you’re here with me.”
She snuggles into the pillow and I curl my body around her more tightly. Fuck, my dick twitches again. I hope she didn’t feel it.
“Anything for you.” My voice comes out low.
“After my meltdown I just wanted to be with you.”
It’s true, I want to do anything for her, and I’ll hold her all night if that’s all she wants, even though I want so much more.
This is different from any relationship, serious or casual, I’ve had in the past. When I got too close, I got rejected. This feels different though. Charli’s a chance I want to take.
She starts to relax and her breathing slows.
Her scent wraps around me and her curves tease at the hardness of my body.
No matter how good it feels to be with her physically, it feels better to be here for her emotionally.
I can’t put my needs ahead of hers. Seeing her in pain made me feel helpless.
Hours later, I wake up on my back and a warm body is pressed next to me. I’m disoriented for a long minute. I crack my eyes open to figure out where I am. Then it comes back to me. Charli wanted me to come stay with her and I went into action right away.
Nevertheless, it was pretty fucking rough when she spilled it that she was upset about her ex dating again.
Is she not over him? At the beginning of the summer, I thought I was fine with being a rebound.
Rebound equals me getting sex, right? But now it hurts more that she may have been using me to pass the time.
Being an emotional substitute is much more painful than being a physical one.
And now she’s sound asleep, her head on my shoulder and an arm slung across my chest, with her leg hitched up on my thigh, dangerously close to my rock-hard cock.
Carefully, I move my arm and roll over so I don’t poke her.
She mumbles in her sleep and scoots right up to my back before flinging her arm over my side, so it hangs across my stomach.
Her warm breath tickles my neck, giving me a shiver. I drift back to sleep.
In the morning light, her alarm sounds and she lifts her head to roll away from me to swat it off. “Hey, good morning.”
My boner has subsided and I shift to lay my back, the sheets rustling. “Morning.”
She rubs her eyes, not as puffy today. “Did you sleep okay?”
I nod. “Great.” I shift to prop myself up on one elbow to look at her.
She does a cute little stretch. “Me too.”
“You’re kind of a bed hog though.”
“I’m not,” she pouts.
“Well you didn’t stay on your side.”
“Are you mad?”
“No, it was nice having you wrapped around me all night.”
Her cheeks pinken immediately. “I was sleeping.”
“I know, you’re an extreme cuddler.” I take her chin between my fingertips. “Do you feel better today?”
She relaxes back into the pillow. “I do.” She bites her lip. Fuck, that mouth of hers. This is messing with me, cuddling with her all night, waking up next to her in her bed. “Thank you for being there for me.” She reaches out to take my hand in hers.
“Of course,” I say, my voice low. I search her face for a sign of anything, any feelings she might have for me. I pull her hand closer to me, pressing it to my chest. Beneath the covers, her toes touch the top of my feet, and I slip my hand down her side to rest on her hip.
“You make me feel safe.” She rocks forward a hair. Her green eyes stay focused on mine, her lashes fluttering. “I can be myself with you.”
My heart thuds in my chest, as the seconds drag out slowly. Her honesty and vulnerability opens my eyes to my own feelings. I want something real with her. I want to whisper with her in the early morning and sleep with her next me all night.
“I'm trying to ask for what I need.”
Fuck, does this mean she’s asking for something now? Of course I want everything else too. I want her kisses; I want her screaming my name when she comes undone.
Her alarm beeps again, interrupting our moment. “I have to work at seven, so I need to go. You can sleep more if you want to.” She scooches to the side of the bed and gets up.
I lean back and watch her shuffle around the room. It’s not going to be now. “No, I’ll get up. It’s supposed to rain later, so I’ll have to see if my afternoon charter still wants to go out.”
She puts up her hair and yanks my sweats up higher. Peeking out the window, she turns back to me. “It looks okay out now.”
“It’s going to rain off and on for the next few days, then it should be nice for the weekend.”
She looks at me over her shoulder and smiles. Shit, it does something to me. “Do you want to come to the shop with me and get some breakfast?”
“Uh, sure. That sounds good.”
“I’m going to go wash up.” She grabs her watch from the charger and adds, “I have to leave at quarter till.”
Our moment was gone.