42. Gage #2
“I don’t know, it’s just an idea for now.
” My hand roams her body and I bring it under the hem of her shirt to feel her full breast. I squeeze it, her nipple tightening under my touch.
She arches into me, rubbing her center against my hard length.
“Knowing you’re proud of me makes me want to succeed.
You’ve brought so much light to my life. ”
“That’s so sweet.”
She makes me melt. “It’s true. I figured I’d be a grumpy old man someday like my uncle. But, I don’t want that anymore,” I say, my voice low.
Nervous energy pours off her as she stills. “What do you want?”
“So much.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and I flatten to her body, pinning my hips to hers, drowning in her kiss.
A knock on the door breaks us both and I rest my head on her forehead. “I ordered us a pizza.”
She snorts. “You just cockblocked yourself.” She reaches lower to swat my ass. I lift myself up and adjust my pants.
The pizza waits on the kitchen table while we finish what we started. Later, we enjoy our cold pizza and beer dinner, with her in my t-shirt and me in my shorts.
We cuddle on the couch. I put my head in her lap and she tucks her feet underneath her.
She plays with my hair as I describe the events of the day.
I would love to do this with her every night.
Just tell her about my day and be close to her.
She wants to know about my aspirations and is genuine with me.
“Are you going to do something different with your charters?” she asks tentatively.
I’ve been so closed off about making changes in my life for so long, this feels foreign.
But, it feels pretty fucking good. Sitting up, I pull her next to me.
“I mean maybe. I know that I want to do more, but I’m not sure what direction to take.
My uncle’s met someone down there and is going to retire. He’s selling the boat.”
Her body freezes. “You’ll have to make a decision then.” Her fingers tug at my hair. “You need to give yourself some more credit. You’ve been successful.”
I let out a big sigh. “I think I’m good at what I do now, but I’m not sure what else I’d like to get involved in.”
“Like business-wise?”
“Yeah.” I run my hands through her hair, as she rests her head against my chest. “I need to earn enough money to support myself off season if I’m not chartering.”
“Do you want to work for someone else, like you do for your uncle?”
“Possibly, but in the long run, I want to work for myself.” I pause, waiting for the thunder in my chest to subside, but I know it won’t. “I want to be involved in sailing because it keeps my connection with my dad. I know you understand how I feel when I’m on the water.”
“I do,” she says softly.
“I really like it here. Maybe I could live here long term . . . eventually.”
My statement hangs between us like a smoke bomb.
“Really?” she asks, straightening up, looking at me pensively.
“Really.” In the dim light, I let it all spill. “I was so used to doing the same things all the time, I didn’t see a way out. Now, I realize what a rut I was in before we were together. I was letting the past control my present and my future.”
Moonlight filters through the window, illuminating her face. She bites her lip. “I would love it if you were here, but here because you want to be here, not just because of me or us.”
I reach for her, needing her in my arms. She presses close to me as I cradle her to my chest. “I’ve kept myself from feeling too much in any one place out of fear.
I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” I’m scared of what I would go back to without her.
My heart is completely hers. Now I need to figure out how to do it.
* * *
I’m pretty nervous while I wait for the interview to begin.
Meaning, I’m slightly nauseated and my hands are sweaty.
The sun is hot and is making my clothes stick and my stomach is a gurgly mess.
I could barely choke down a piece of toast this morning.
Charli is off to the side beaming at me.
I don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of her, I want her to be proud.
“Don’t be worried. You’ll be amazing.”
“What?” I ask distractedly.
She touches my collar. “You look so handsome. This dark blue Wanderlust shirt makes your skin look tan and shows off your broad shoulders.” She runs her hand through my hair.
“And, baby, this hair is so amazing.” She plants a kiss on my cheek.
“I’m sure that your chiseled jaw and brown eyes will have them swooning. I know what it does to me.”
“Thanks, but I hate this shit.”
“You’re going to be great. I’m here for you.” She bounces on the spot.
Calvin is chill and says, “Just pretend like it was the other day when we talked at the boat show. You’re a natural and you’ll come across good on camera.
” He finishes setting up his equipment and returns to my side to make the final adjustments.
His CJ Sailing cap looks crisp, the green and white colors popping.
It matches his sun shirt and dark green shorts.
I sniff and clear my throat. “If you say so.”
“I’ll edit out anything like a blooper and I’ll show you the clip before I post it.”
I nod and give him a tight smile and a thumbs up.
After the interview, I have no idea what he asked or what I said. It must be a nervous reflex. He claps me on my back and says, “That was awesome. Once I edit and post, you should link this to your page.”
“My Wanderlust page?”
“Yeah, that or your Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube.” He scrolls through the content on his device, his eyebrows knit together.
“My social media is pretty weak. We’ve got a website for boat charters, but that’s about it.”
“Well, I have some ideas for you. We can do a video call later this week when I get to my next location and strategize. I think you have a lot of potential.”
Charli squeals with delight and comes up to my side. I lean into her and hold her to me. Calvin turns to her and then back to me.
I lift my eyebrows. “What?”
“Put out your couple status sooner than later. That way your new fans won’t get their hopes up. You’d both be good on camera.”
“Thanks, man. Can’t wait to see the clip.”
Calvin continues as he takes apart his equipment. “I started out small and then I got sponsorship and advertising when I got more followers. It makes a nice chunk of change if you put the work into it.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask, the wheels turning in my mind.
“For sure. We can talk about it on the chat. I need to get to my next appointment, but I’d love to help you if I can.”