43. Charli
CHARLI
We head over to the shop after Gage’s interview to get some food and celebrate.
As we walk through the door, Oliver asks, “How did it go?”
“He did so well,” I gush.
Gage moves to the counter and leans forward with a groan. “If she says so.”
I nudge him, before slipping my arm around him. “You focused a lot on the local communities you sail out of and the personal touches you offer, like taking time to teach the kids about sailing by letting them try out things such as hoisting sails and pulling the lines.”
Oliver gives Gage’s shoulder a slap and he looks stunned.
“I hope you’re telling the truth.” Gage grabs the back of his neck. “Oliver, can I get an iced coffee?”
“Sure. Charli, do you want one too?”
I nod and rub a circle on Gage’s back. He turns to me. “Was the rest really okay?” he asks earnestly.
I lean on his shoulder. “You seemed a lot more relaxed and confident as it went on.”
“Good.” He gives my hand a squeeze.
“You know we could talk to Daphne about the social media piece. She’s taught herself a lot.”
He nods, a dazed look still on his face. “That’s right, she did mention taking pictures. But are you sure you want to do that? I thought things were strained between you two?”
I sigh and pause, pressing my lips together. “I promised my dad that I’d try harder with her. This might be a good way to patch things up, because the focus would be on something else, a project.”
She wasn’t that bad at our last visit, and I know Daphne would be on board with helping.
I can put aside my own hesitations about being around her if it will help Gage.
Glancing out the front door at the wharf, I spy Wanderlust and my chest pinches.
If collaborating with Daphne gives my boyfriend a reason to stay here, I’ll reach out to her.
“So now I’m a project?” He snorts a laugh.
I shake my head at him. “No, your social media project.”
Oliver returns with our coffees. “Do you two want some food?”
Gage lets out a breath. “Two everything bagels with bacon, eggs, and cheese, please.”
“Hey, the realtor messaged me back about the inspection,” Oliver says as sip my coffee.
“Ooh. Send me the link. It came back positive, right?” I grin back at him. Oliver’s really taken charge of this endeavor and I’m so proud of him.
He gives me a quick nod with a tight smile.
I leave them to chat while I slip into the backroom for a few minutes.
I’m having a moment. The part of the interview about leaving got to me.
I don’t want him to go, even though I know it's what he’s going to do.
I want to know he wants me enough to stay, but I can't ask him to give up his life. That would be selfish of me and I don’t want him to resent me for asking him to stay here all winter.
I shoot off a quick text to Daphne and pocket my phone.
There’s hope for more. He said he thought about staying here eventually. His uncle’s selling the boat. But when is that? Could it be sold in Seascape? Or could Gage bring the boat south and return to Seascape?
* * *
I have all my clothes laid out across my bed when Gage gets to my apartment.
He went out for some groceries and said that he’d cook tonight while I was going through my packing list. He made some barbecue chicken sandwiches with coleslaw and pickles, and tater tots on the side. The man is a genius with a sandwich.
My life now is a far cry from the boring monotony of my life from before I met Gage. I can’t really get over it.
Later in the evening, I'm in packing hell. He’s lying across my bed propped up on his side watching me as I struggle to complete the gear checklist. I never travel, so I don't know the pain of putting together a bag for a week. Digging through my closet and drawers, I search for a fleece jacket, gloves, a hat, thermal underwear, warm socks, hiking boots, and some old bathing suits. Apparently the thermal pools can stain them, so I don’t want to bring any new ones.
“You can just stay here if you want when I’m gone.”
“Okay, I might do that. Mrs. Kritsky won’t mind?”
“She's probably glad that a big strong man will be next door,” I tease.
He picks up my various pairs of underwear and examines them. “Do you really need all these for your trip?”
“No.” I snatch the panties. “But maybe I’ll send you some sexy pictures or . . .” I try to give him a sultry look.
“Or what?”
“Maybe we can have phone sex.”
He inhales and adjusts himself. “Well, you won’t need clothes for that.”
I sigh. “I’m done with this for now. I’m just going to stack it in this laundry basket and put it in my bag over the weekend.” I climb toward him on the bed and straddle his lap. He circles my waist and drags his hand up my body lazily. I lean to kiss him. “Then we can get to bed.”
“Are you tired?”
“Not yet, but I’m sure I will be in an hour or so.”
He kisses me down the column of my neck and palms me through my shirt before swatting my ass. “I'm going to go clean up the dishes now.”
“You make doing the dishes hot, baby.” And I nibble on his bottom lip and press my center to his growing bulge.
“A clean kitchen is sexy.”
He lifts me off him and tosses me onto the middle of the bed, disrupting my piles.
I lay there for a few seconds thinking about cleaning this up, but my phone buzzes from underneath a stack of shirts. I sift through the tops and see that Daphne’s calling me. It must be about my text from earlier, so I accept the FaceTime call.
“Hey, Daph.”
“Charli, I wanted to wait until the boys were in bed to call you and Gage about your good news.”
“Right, thanks for getting back to me.” I loll to the side, as the curtain flaps in the breeze, crickets chirping in the dusky night.
“CJ Sailing is one of the top ten sailing YouTubers out there. Did Calvin really interview Gage?” Daphne hammers out.
I sit up, stunned. “Yeah, this morning. I was there watching him. They’re going to meet online to review Gage’s social media.”
Daphne screams so loud I back away from the phone. “Charli, this is phenomenal!”
“Yeah, he was pretty excited.”
“No, I mean a boost from Calvin is like a certified gold star to social media success, like sponsorships, endorsements, advertising, all of it.” She pauses to take a breath. “Are you two ready for that?”
I walk out into the kitchen slowly, as Gage is washing a pan in the sink. “Daph, say that again.”
I flip the camera to him and she repeats what she told me. He drops the scrubber into the sink, his eyes flash to mine, darting between me and Daphne. Grabbing a towel, he dries his hands slowly.
“So I can make money off this, Daphne, like a salary?”
“Gage, it took me years of posting and interacting to make a reasonable income from my blogging. But this could be really big for you, for the both of you, and fast.”
“Wow,” he rakes his hand through his hair.
“So, what’s next? Charli said you were going to meet again with Calvin.”
He nods absently. “Yeah, he’s going to send me the edited interview, then he said he had some ideas for me.”
“Oh my God! I’m so happy for you,” she beams from the screen. “I’m here for any help that I can provide you with, but Calvin is a real expert.”
Gage wanders to the couch to sit down, slumping onto the cushions.
“Daph, let’s talk again soon.”
“Sure, have a good night and I’m really so happy for you both, and proud. Thanks so much for telling me about this, Charli, it means a lot to me.” Her face flushes on the screen.
A lump forms in my throat. “Me too, bye.”
He inhales. “Do you think Daphne is serious about making money off social media?”
I perch next to him. “She knows what she’s talking about. You can see how the next meeting with Calvin goes and she said she’d help us, or you— if you want.”
He stares out across the room while gripping his knees. “I can ask Gabby too.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
“Was there something else on your mind?”
He leans back and turns to me. “So, since the Boat Show, I’d been thinking about taking some online business classes so I can expand the Wanderlust chartering.”
I scoot closer. “Seriously? That’s so great.”
He slides his hand over to my thigh.
“Before this stuff with Calvin, I was planning to make some changes after this summer and being here. But if what he and Daphne said is true, it might make things easier.”
I knit my brows together and my belly pulls into a tight ball. “Tell me more.” Oh God, I hope it’s about us.
“Well, it was hard coming back here because I never went to the Academy. But then I realized that it wasn't for me after all.”
I run my hands across his chest and he catches my hand in his.
“Maybe I might buy my uncle's boat or one of my own.”
I watch him, my heart full to bursting and tears forming in the corners of my eyes.
“I’ve actually been able to save a lot of money since I don’t have a car or rent payments. I think I’ll still take out student loans for school if I do that, but I have money to invest in myself. I just never knew where to do it before. I could probably get a small business loan too,” he rambles.
I smile weakly at him, my chin quivering.
He lifts his palm to my cheek. “Charli, I want to make this work, us.”
“Me too. So much it hurts.”
Later, Gage and I lie together cuddled in the darkness, satisfied with each other. He’s propped up on the pillows and I’m resting my head on his shoulder and laying halfway across him. “I’ll miss being like this with you next week, baby.” Tears prick at my eyes.
“It’s only a few days. But I’ll miss this too.”
I sniffle and wipe my eyes.
“What’s this?”
I can’t hold back anymore. “I didn’t know how lonely I was until I met you. You see me for me and you make me happy. I want to do more for myself because of you.”
We lean into each other and he rolls me over, putting his weight on me.
I catch him between my legs before we devour each other with kisses.
We’re so close, breathing in the same air, our bodies flush with each other.
His hair brushes against the side of my face and I reach up to run my hands through it.
I cup his face in my hands. “I love you, baby.”
His body goes rigid at my words, his mouth forming an O shape. I press a finger to his lips. “You don’t have to say anything. These are my feelings and I want you to know before I leave. I’ve felt this way for a while now. I know we didn’t mean for this to happen, but it did.”
We become a frantic tangle of limbs.
“Show me how you feel,” I plead, desperate to know his love.
We don’t stop until we’re shattered again.
He rolls to the side and I turn to him. He kisses me deeply and pulls me close.
We lay still for I don't know how long, our legs intertwined together and his hands roaming my body. I don’t expect him to say that he loves me too, but I wonder. I wonder if I’ve said too much.
Afterward, I lay behind him and rub his strong back.
His muscles twitch and then relax as he begins to fall asleep.
I massage his shoulder and stroke my hand down his torso and up again.
Then, I drag my fingernails across his skin gently and soon his breathing evens out.
God, we have gotten so close and it scares me.
I know that if we don’t stay together it’ll break me.
I hated being long-distance with Tyler and I don’t want to have a lifetime of that with Gage if he wants to keep traveling every winter.
I’m not going to repeat bad patterns again.
But I want this, I want us. I don’t want it to stop.
I hope I can get some more clarity when I’m in Iceland next week.