Chapter Twenty-Five
Nick woke up warm.
He looked down. Vi had an arm over his stomach, her head tucked below his chin.
A goofy smile spread over his face. He reached up, not fully convinced he wasn’t still asleep, and pushed Vi’s hair gently behind one ear.
There was a foreboding whisper in the back of his head, as there usually was when something good happened: Enjoy it while it lasts, the whisper told him. Before you ruin it.
He had to tell her. He’d been sure she was going to call him out at the café.
He just . . . wanted to keep this a little longer.
Once he told her, she’d have to make a decision.
And he still wasn’t sure what she’d decide.
If she liked him enough. He wouldn’t blame her if it was too much.
If she wanted to stay friends, or even pull away entirely. But until then, he could enjoy this.
Vi made an absent-minded noise into his neck. “Morning.”
Shit, Nick thought. He dropped his hand guiltily. “It is morning. We fucked up.”
Vi shifted, blinking blearily at him. Her cheeks were red, a hint of shyness in her expression as she stretched. “We did. Is that okay?”
“Sure,” Nick blurted. “I’m a rebel. Are you okay with it?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Vi rested her chin on his chest. They watched each other for a moment, morning sun filtering in through the curtains.
“You’re quiet in the mornings,” Vi said.
“I’m sorry,” Nick said in disbelief. “Did you just say you want me to talk more?”
“No, I just expected . . . I don’t know. I didn’t expect you to be quiet.”
“I can be quiet,” Nick said. Then, because he was still fuzzy with sleep, and his filters had never been good, even when he wasn’t operating with only half his brain: “When I’m with the right person.”
Vi’s cheeks went even redder. She ducked her head against his chest. It was so cute, Nick nudged her and continued. “You can be kinda loud.”
Vi let out an embarrassed squeak. For a moment, she turned even farther into his chest. Then she lifted her head, dark hair falling over her eyes.
“When I’m with the right person.”
Before Nick could give in to the urge to do something stupid, like push her hair behind her ear again, she reached up and stroked his panther tattoo.
“Was it real? What you said to Gilbert?”
Nick groaned, dropping his head back into the pillows. “Oh, god. I was hoping you were too distracted to pay attention.”
“Is it?” Vi scratched his forearm, right over the panther’s inky head.
“Ugh. Yeah.”
“Don’t ugh,” Vi said, looking far too smug about making him admit this. “It’s sweet! He’s your buddy. Hi, buddy.” She scratched the panther’s inky chin, crooning softly and only a little teasingly.
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “You can’t tell anyone.”
She beamed at him, bright and lovely and backlit by morning light.
“No promises,” she said.
Nick had never wanted to kiss anybody more.
Then she gasped, grabbing his wrist to check his watch. “Oh, damn. We need to get ready for work.”
Nick cursed the universe for letting him sleep with Vi on a Thursday night, not a Friday.
“It’s still early,” he tried, admiring her naked body as she got up and started picking up her clothes. “Since you’re already here . . . I could make us breakfast?”
She paused, holding her clothes in a bundle against her chest almost shyly, like he didn’t know what she tasted like.
“Yeah?”
He sat up, pulling her closer by the skirt she was holding. “You like pancakes?”
“Nah,” she said sarcastically, letting him pull her toward the bed. “Hate ’em. Get those pancakes outta my face.”
It took Nick a second to realize she was making a reference to the first time they slept together. Get these boobs out of my face.
He laughed, shocked. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so giddy, the warm glow almost enough to drown out the foreboding whispers spelling out his inevitable doom. He trailed a hand up her neck, curling into all that gorgeous hair.
“You should drop the clothes,” he told her quietly.
Vi’s hands clenched in her pile of clothes. Her gaze dropped to his narrow chest, his bare stomach, the rest of him covered by blankets. She looked hungry in a way that had nothing to do with pancakes.
“Do we have time?” she asked, but she was already dropping the clothes.
“So much time,” he promised, watching her crawl over him. Why had they agreed not to stay over in the first place? Morning sex was great.
She sat up against him, cheeks red again, but not hiding anymore. Nick stared. There was so much smooth skin he could touch. He decided to start simple: cupping her face, stroking lines down her cheekbones.
Vi’s eyelashes fluttered.
Nick leaned up to kiss her.
Her phone rang.
“Nope,” Nick said, catching her waist. “Don’t answer. You’re busy. You’re asleep! Fast asleep.”
Vi gave him a wry look. “If someone calls me this early, it’s usually important.”
“Shit,” Nick said, letting her go. “Right.”
She leaned over the bed, rummaging in her skirt’s endless pockets.
He fought the urge to touch her bare back, press a thumb against one of the moles there.
He wanted to drag her back, kiss every last inch of her.
But there was still that irritating whisper in the back of his head, warning him he was about to screw everything up. It was his specialty, after all.
“Where the hell,” Vi muttered. Then she sat up, phone in hand, triumphant. “Aha!”
She looked at the caller ID. The triumphant look faded.
Nick touched her shoulder. “What?”
She shook her head. “Unknown number.”
Nick’s heart fell into his gut. He didn’t need those whispers itching the back of his head to tell him: Something bad was coming.
“Hello,” Vi said into the phone. She turned away from Nick, wrestling her skirt on one-handed. “Yes, this is she . . . Is he okay?”
Nick slid out of bed, groping for his jeans.
“I’ll be there in ten,” Vi said, and then shoved her phone into her pocket. “I have to go. Chester fell. He’s back in the hospital.”
“Shit.” Nick reached for his shirt, yanking it on. “I’ll drive you.”
Vi shook her head, distracted. Already running through everything in her head. Nick felt exhausted even imagining that mental checklist.
“Hey,” Nick said. He stopped in front of her, his fly down, his shirt unbuttoned. “You biked to the café last night. The bike’s in my car. Remember?”
Vi’s shoulders slumped. Her bra was only half on, the back still undone. “Damn it.”
“I’ll drive you,” Nick repeated.
Nick bent down, picking her shirt up from the floor and handing it over.
She pulled it on, still distracted. Her hands ruffled through her hair, bunching it for something she didn’t have yet.
“Where’s my . . .”
“Kitchen,” Nick blurted, remembering how he’d dragged the silky strip in his fingers. “I’ll go get it.”
He ran for the door.
Vi’s voice stopped him. “I should have been there. God, what have I been doing? I have free time now, and what do I do with it? Drive around? Have bubble baths? Fool around with you? I should have been there. I should have been taking care of him!”
“Jesus, Vi,” Nick said, continuing into the kitchen to grab her ribbon from the counter where they’d dropped it last night. “You deserve some time to yourself.”
“This isn’t some time to myself! Chester got hurt!”
“Vi,” Nick said. He ran back into the bedroom to find Vi just as he’d feared: distant and determined, her expression completely closed off as she pulled on her shoes.
He handed her the ribbon. “Vi—”
Vi cut him off. “We’re wasting time. Let’s just go.”
* * *
It was the same hospital room. Nick was 90 percent sure, and then he looked in and he was 95 percent.
This was the exact doorway he’d stood in when he told Vi he’d take over the book club.
Now here he was, walking through it with her.
He tried to feel happy about it, but the dread was still collecting in his stomach.
He didn’t get to keep things like this. His life was fine, and nothing else.
If he did get something great, he’d better watch out, because life would go back to normal soon enough.
Chester was propped up in his hospital bed, both legs in casts now, reading a magazine and looking very unhappy about it. He looked up from the hospital bed and groaned. “I bet you dropped everything. I’m fine!”
He paused, staring up at Nick as he came to a stop behind Vi.
“Oh,” Chester said. “Hello. Didn’t expect to see you today.”
Nick stared at him threateningly. He obviously didn’t do a great job, because Chester had to scratch his mouth to hide a smile.
“I’m so sorry,” Vi said. “They told me your nurse found you. I should have found someone who could stay nights.”
“You did try. I told you to screw off.” Chester folded his magazine up and slid it under his pillow, looking relieved to see it gone. “Vi, it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” Vi said, loud enough that everyone jumped.
Vi closed her eyes.
Before Nick could think better of it, his hand was coming up to touch her shoulder. Before he could, her hand batted his away on the way to tighten her hair ribbon.
“Sorry,” she said distractedly. She barely looked back at him, too focused on Chester. “Ches. This isn’t okay. You were lying there for an hour, wheezing!”
“I got to the phone! And my inhaler! It’s fine!” Chester took her hand and squeezed. “My girl. These things happen. I’m alright, you’re alright, everything’s fine.”
“I know,” Vi said, too fast. She didn’t squeeze Chester’s hand back.
It made Nick feel a little better about getting his hand knocked away, even if it was an accident.
Vi didn’t seem like she even noticed he’d been trying to comfort her; she’d said sorry like she thought his hand just happened to be near her shoulder, no intent necessary.
Which made sense. Nick wasn’t a comforting guy. She wouldn’t have been expecting it.
Vi cleared her throat. “Nick, can we have a second?”
“Sure,” Nick said. He tried to catch her gaze before he left, but she didn’t look away from Chester’s casts.
* * *
He closed the door behind him. It seemed like the thing to do. Then he turned and saw Jasper leaning on his broom, a shit-eating grin on his smug face.
“Bad luck about Chester,” Jasper said, twirling his broom. “Couple more months in that cast. Means more book club for you, right?”
Nick nodded, looking for a quick exit. Then he remembered Vi, still in that room. He couldn’t leave her there, no matter how much he wanted to get away from Jasper and his nosy, probing questions.
“Uh-huh,” said Nick, racking his brain for anything to change the subject. “Been to Sour Claw lately?”
“Most nights I have off,” Jasper said. He was paler than usual, visible bags under his eyes. His cleaning uniform was wrinkled and his dark hair was in a greasy ponytail. Nick sometimes thought that if Jasper wasn’t so stupidly handsome, people might think he was a slob.
Jasper rocked back and forth on his heels. “Sooo. You guys come here together?”
Nick rolled through a number of ridiculous excuses in his head: Her bike broke down while he was driving to pick up some milk.
Her car broke down and he was . . . out getting milk.
He couldn’t think this early in the morning, especially not with Jasper watching him with those all-seeing bastard eyes.
“We came from Nunya,” Nick tried.
Jasper frowned. “Where?”
“Nunya business,” Nick said, looking up and down the hall for anyone to come and save him from Jasper’s questions. “Don’t you have some puke to clean up? Bedpans to scrub?”
Jasper slapped Nick’s shoulder, making him rock forward with his vampire strength. “Come on, man, I’m just happy for you. ’Bout time you got out of your own way.”
Nick bristled. Something about Jasper’s words made that dread in his gut churn even harder. “What?”
Jasper shrugged jerkily. “It’s nice to see you date someone who’s good for you.”
It was an incredibly sweet and weirdly out-of-character thing for Jasper to say to him. Or maybe he said that to everyone who started making good life choices, and Nick had been missing out until now.
Nick’s stomach roiled. He couldn’t have Jasper walking around telling everybody in town they were together.
Not when it wasn’t official. Not when he hadn’t told her the truth yet, and she hadn’t had the chance to make a decision.
This could all be over in a week. Whenever he finally got the guts to say it.
He let out a stale laugh, shoving Jasper’s hand off his shoulder. “You know I don’t date, man. We’re friends.”
“O . . . kay,” Jasper said. He looked disappointed, but not surprised. “Whatever, man. Stay down here in the dirt with the rest of us.”
Another weird thing to say. Jasper suddenly looked exhausted under the fluorescent hospital lights.
An exhaustion that went deeper than the bags under his eyes or his unwashed hair.
For a moment Nick almost asked if Jasper had something going on, but they didn’t really talk about personal stuff.
For all the time they’d spent together over the years, Nick didn’t actually know Jasper very well.
“I just kinda thought . . .” Jasper started. Then he stopped, staring at something over Nick’s shoulder.
Nick turned. The door he’d closed was open. Vi was staring at him, blinking rapidly.
Vi swallowed. “Um. I need to go to work.”
“I’ll drive you,” Nick offered instantly, heart in his throat.
Vi paused. Then she nodded. He couldn’t read her expression. For all his talk of how easy it was to look past her polite shtick, he couldn’t tell a thing that was going on behind that face.