Chapter Nine #3
It was that damn kiss, he thought glumly.
He couldn’t get it out of his mind. The feel of her, the taste of her, the way she’d responded to him.
Women had wanted him before, but with Heather, he’d felt as if she was on fire.
He’d done that to her. He wanted to be with her again and again, learning everything that turned her on, then taking her places neither of them had been.
He wanted to spend his life making her weak with desire, satisfying her until she couldn’t do anything but cling to him and breathe his name.
“How long are you going to hide?” Flo asked.
Jim blinked. He’d forgotten that she was still in the room. He replayed her question and thought of a couple of glib answers. Then, because he was tired of the pretending, he told her the truth. “Forever.”
She sighed. “I suppose the good news is that you’re finally admitting you have a problem. Don’t they say that’s half the battle?”
“It’s not a problem, it’s a way of life.”
“You have to stop this,” she said, folding her arms across her chest. “You can’t keep on renting people, then turning them loose when they threaten to get too close. It’s not right. It’s not how we were meant to live. People need to make connections. How can you be so alone all the time?”
Her knowing gaze saw too much, but he’d always known that about her. “This is all I know. It makes me happy, so why can’t you leave it alone?”
“For the same reason I won’t let you find me another job.
Because I care about you, Jim. I’m stubborn and I stick my nose in where it doesn’t belong, but only because you’re a good friend and I hate to see you like this.
” She drew in a breath. “I know you care about her even though you never say the words, but some people need more. Some people need to know that they’re wanted. ”
He frowned at her. “What’s your point?”
“Are you just going to let Heather walk out of your life?”
He met her gaze without flinching and told her the gut-honest truth. “Yes.”
* * *
Heather walked over and stood next to Flo, who stood staring out the window. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“Watching Jim change the oil in my car and wondering why he has to be as stubborn as a mule.”
Heather followed her friend’s gaze and saw Flo’s old sedan in the hangar. The front end was up on blocks and long, jean-clad legs stuck out from underneath the vehicle. Just seeing the bottom half of him was enough to get her blood racing and that fluttering starting in the pit of her stomach.
“At least he’s better-looking than a mule,” she said.
Flo chuckled. “I’ll give you that, but the man makes me crazy.” She sighed but didn’t elaborate.
Heather resisted the urge to pry. In the past couple of days, she’d found herself more interested in her boss than usual. She wanted to know everything about him, especially personal stuff. Obviously, she had it bad.
“He makes everything so difficult,” Flo said. “How am I supposed to work with that?”
“Do I know what you’re talking about?”
“No. I’m upset because the man won’t admit he cares.”
“He admits it,” Heather said. “He cares about Brian and look how much time he gives him. The kid has only been here a couple of weeks, but already they’re great friends.”
“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about male-female relationships. He won’t get involved.”
“I can’t blame him for that,” Heather said. “I don’t want to get involved, either.”
Flo threw up her arms in a gesture of frustration. “What is it with you two? Why can’t you admit what everyone else sees?”
Heather had to force herself to stay relaxed even though her first instinct was to stiffen and run. “What does everyone see?”
“That you two are perfect for each other.”
“Ah. Perfect? That’s a pretty strong term.” She exhaled softly in relief. Flo was speculating about what could be, not about what had happened. Thank goodness no one had guessed about the kiss she and Jim had shared. The kiss that she couldn’t stop thinking about.
“Do you mean to tell me that you aren’t the least bit interested in a relationship with Jim? That if he wanted to get serious or even married, you would say no?”
“I would say no to marriage,” Heather told her. She had been thinking that she might be ready to make love with Jim, but marriage? She wanted to spend the rest of her life avoiding commitments, not running after them. “Jim and I are great friends and that’s all either of us wants.”
“Fine,” Flo said, and turned her back to the window. “I give up. You’re both crazy and there’s nothing I can do about it. If you want to ignore the obvious, I can’t help you. Stay blind, stay stupid and live both your foolish lives alone. See if I care.” She stalked off toward the lunchroom.
Heather stared after her. She was sorry she’d upset her friend, but she couldn’t lie just to make Flo happy.
In truth, she didn’t want marriage with anyone, not even Jim.
But she would admit to certain feelings.
She wanted him in a way she’d never wanted any other man.
She would like to find out where that wanting would lead and she didn’t necessarily mean only to bed.
She wondered how that emotion would grow and change in her life.
But with Jim constantly holding her at arm’s length, she wasn’t going to get much of a chance to find out.