Chapter 1
Chapter One
F lakes of snow drove home the point that Thanksgiving would descend upon Wyoming in three weeks. Kelly was supposed to have arrived a month before, but odd circumstances had kept her. He’d tried not to let his curiosity get the better of him as to why. Sam Elsner moved a pitchfork that had been left in the wrong place in the barn as a nondescript black car drove up the driveway.
A blonde head appeared as a woman stood from the car. It soon disappeared under a stocking cap with a poof on top as she shoved it down over her ears. Even that brief sighting was enough to know exactly who she was. Kelly was now at Wayside.
Sam stepped back from the window and tugged his wool vest tighter around him. His immediate response was to worry. She looked rail thin, with sharp cheekbones. What could he do to make her comfortable? That was what Wayside men always did. But she wasn’t for him to worry about. In fact, after what she’d been through, he might never be able to step into the role of protector for her ever again.
She ruined all that. He’d caught her with another man.
Kelly hugged herself tightly as she rushed to the front door. She wore no coat, only a fleece vest. Sam reached for the windowsill, anchoring his feet to the floor. She looked so vulnerable. A man got out of the driver’s seat and headed to the trunk, opened it, then pulled a suitcase from the back. Sam had seen carry on luggage bigger than that. The driver delivered it to the porch, said a few words to Kelly that Sam couldn’t hear, then headed back to the car.
Sam couldn’t tear his eyes from the scene. She looked so distressed, so lost, eyes wide, standing on the porch and searching in place like she wasn’t sure where to go or what to do. Connor stepped outside the front door and held it for her, beckoning her inside. Kelly still didn’t move, and Sam couldn’t look away. She swung her head from side to side like she was looking for an escape. She looked . . . trapped.
He glanced all around quickly. Where was Lacy? Usually, she was the one who met guests as they arrived. At least, as far as he knew, that was how it happened. He’d never taken the time to watch anyone arrive at Wayside. That part of the process wasn’t his concern.
Kelly followed Connor inside, and Sam breathed a heavy sigh as the door closed. Just like the last time he’d seen her, he felt shut off from her. Life wouldn’t be the same while she was there. He’d known this was coming, but part of him had never wanted to accept that Kelly would come to stay at Wayside.
He’d watched as his buddies reconnected with the women from their pasts. Some of the women had been successful, others had been near poverty. Thankfully, none of them had been trafficked like Kelly had. The sound of voices drew his attention back to the window.
Connor led Kelly toward the cabins, and they spoke in lowered voices. He’d assumed the initial meeting with Kelly would’ve lasted longer than a few seconds, but there was another of his assumptions proven wrong. Now he had to escape the barn in case Connor was giving her a tour.
Connor pointed toward the dog kennel, where Sam spent most of his days, then pointed right at the barn where he stood. For a split-second, he was sure she saw him. He backed away from the window a few steps, guilt slamming into his chest. He shouldn’t be standing here staring at a guest, whether he’d known her in the past or not.
Sam gathered the security schedule from the barn office and headed for the back so he wouldn’t have to walk right by Connor and Kelly as he showed her around. Edwyn pushed through the back door just in front of him, preventing his escape.
“Sam, Edwyn, one minute of your time.” Connor’s voice carried through the barn.
He held his breath for the count of two. Edwyn glared at him for a moment, then headed toward Connor. Edwyn was a rule follower, so if Connor told him to jump, Edwyn would ask how high, and he expected the same from the others. Sam turned and wished immediately that he’d avoided the barn completely.
If Kelly had looked uncomfortable on the steps, she looked mortified at seeing him. She whipped around so her back faced him and wrapped her arms around herself in a protective hug. Her actions made him feel as if he’d been the one to send her into trafficking.
Edwyn stood far closer to her than Sam ever got to someone he worked with, at least before he knew their comfort level, leaving him wanting to grab his friend and yank him out of Kelly’s personal space. He strode toward them, but hung back, giving her room, though she didn’t turn around to face him.
Connor gave her an encouraging look. “These are the two men who will be helping you. I think you know Sam . . .”
Kelly nodded with quick, abrupt head movements, making the pom on the top of her hat bob.
“The other is your wrangler, Edwyn Brookings.”
She glanced his way for a split second but didn’t turn.
“If you’re ready, I’ll leave you with them.”
She slowly turned to face him, and he couldn’t miss the accusation on her face. Why would she be accusing him of anything? She’d cheated on him. She hadn’t even tried to hide it.
“I’m fine. I can handle myself,” her delicate sniffle undermined her fake bravado.
“Great!” Edwyn’s voice boomed in the quiet barn, making Kelly shudder.
“Edwyn, cool it.” Sam tried to intervene. He wouldn’t let himself care about Kelly in any way beyond what she needed to heal, but Edwyn was already overstepping.
“Sam. Let’s get this straight. You may have known Kelly before, but I’ll be helping her.”
Anger pooled somewhere deep inside him. He wasn’t trying to take over Edwyn’s job, but he was doing it wrong. “All I said was to cool it. You’re scaring her. You’d best take it easy on her.” He wouldn’t threaten Edwyn. That would only make Kelly even more uncomfortable. She’d probably witnessed plenty of altercations and male swagger in the last few years. That wasn’t needed now.
“I think I can handle myself. I’ll bring Kelly around to see the kennels later. I’ll show her around the barn for now.”
Sam wasn’t sure if Edwyn knew Kelly was his one regret or not, though he seemed to by indicating he knew they’d known each other. Maybe that didn’t matter, since she was a patient first. He gave Edwyn a nod then followed it with one for Kelly. She said nothing, but he could feel her watch him as he finally made his way out of the barn.
Fear was a constant companion, though Kelly certainly wouldn’t call it her friend. She stood in the barn next to the guy who’d pretty much told Sam to take a hike. She hadn’t expected to see him here. She hadn’t expected to ever see him again.
“Care to talk about how you know him? It will stay between you and me. I don’t keep notes.” Edwyn headed for another part of the barn that seemed to be off to the left.
She shoved her hands in her pockets, wishing her friends at the halfway house had thought of gloves or even a light coat as opposed to a vest. Her whole body felt chilled in the frigid Wyoming wind and snow flurries. “I don’t think it matters. Ancient history.” Though her heart said it was anything but. The moment she’d seen him, all those feelings of abandonment had crept up. If not for him and his disappearance from her life, she never would’ve ended up where she’d been. Well, not as far in as she’d gone, anyway. He was supposed to have saved her. Instead, he’d stopped calling, stopped caring.
“Ancient history still has bearing on your life today. You looked like you wanted to run from Wayside at a sprint the moment you saw him. That won’t help you heal.” Edwyn led her to a room that smelled like leather and oil where saddles and straps hung neatly on the walls and around the room.
Running had been her first choice, but her driver had already left and there was no other way to escape. It wasn’t like she knew the area. Weird, too, that both Connor and Edwyn seemed to know she had a past with Sam but hadn’t said anything to warn her that he was there.
“Look, it’s not this big secret. Sam and I dated a long time ago. He ditched me one day. No call. No note. Not even a word about why. Then again, Sam has never been confrontational. So, I shouldn’t have been shocked when he didn’t confront whatever issue there was.” She ran her finger along one of the imprints on a pretty saddle, surprised it was actually bumpy to her touch.
“That’s true. Sam’s the quiet type, but he also doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to leave you high and dry unless there was something else going on.” Edwyn didn’t sound like he was blatantly accusing her, but he could be, and her hackles immediately went up. What was he accusing her of doing?
“Are you saying he was justified?” There was no way Sam could’ve found out the mess her life had become. She’d been trying to help a friend, but that friend stole all her money. Then, the friend turned around and tried to ‘help’ her get her money back by introducing Kelly to her pimp .
Kelly had been left with no choice. Her bank account was drained, her house had been heading toward foreclosure. Family wasn’t an option, and she had no other friends. It had seemed at the time the only way out of the pit of despair was to take the pimp’s offer. He would put money aside from all her work, then put that money in her account when her term with him ended.
Except, he’d never said when that was. Now, she could only hope he’d kept up his end of the agreement after she’d left. After years with him, he should’ve given her something. At some point, she’d have to find a phone and a way to contact her bank, but that battle was not today.
Sam was supposed to have saved her from that. She’d done the work, hating it. Hating the person she’d allowed herself to become so she could survive, but it was supposed to have been very temporary. Sam had hinted he’d been ring shopping. Once he’d proposed, she was going to come clean about what her life had become. She’d been too ashamed to tell him before there was any assurance he wouldn’t walk away.
Maybe her history didn’t matter, though. Why would Sam have wanted to marry her? Looking back, she’d been hiding so many things from him. Things that would’ve made him want to walk away just like he did. God had probably saved him from her. God should probably save everyone from her.
“I would never say someone is justified in treating another person poorly. I’m only saying it’s outside of his character. Something else must have happened. I hope you get the chance to talk once you’re further along and starting to heal.” Edwyn moved one set of what looked like reins from one peg to another.
She doubted Sam would want to talk, though he had come to her defense, strange as it had been. He looked the same as he had before, like time had stopped for him. He had rich brown hair and soft, gentle hazel eyes, with a smattering of stubble on his jaw that at one time had made her want to rub her hands down his face.
Now, she wanted to stay as far away from physical contact with anyone as possible. Even a hug was too much most of the time. “I think that ship has sailed. We are two completely different people now.”
If he had been willing and hadn’t disappeared, maybe she wouldn’t have become so entangled in what she had. She might not have needed the eventual rescue that had happened. Then again, wondering wouldn’t change the fact that she’d originally agreed.
Sam was a good man, a Christian man, who wouldn’t want a woman who’d been with hundreds of men over the past few years. Her pimp had expected a lot, telling her that her housing had to come out of her pay, so if she wanted to actually make any money, she’d better work harder.
After a time, she was able to do her job with little emotion at all. Her mind was disconnected from what she had to do to survive. Some men were cruel, others just needy. Her pimp wasn’t usually violent, just brutally manipulative. After meeting some other women, she counted herself lucky for that much.
“Well, if you’re given the opportunity and you have the desire, you should. Living with past regrets is painful,” Edwyn’s voice held a hint of what could only be commiseration.
“Thanks.” She turned away, not sure what else she was supposed to do out there. Edwyn made himself busy doing something with a saddle and didn’t seem to be showing her around any further. “Did you want to show me anything else? I’m freezing.”
Normally, she never would’ve complained. Stating discomfort with any of her ‘guys’ would’ve been a sure way to find herself a lot more uncomfortable. However, Connor had told her in the under two minutes she’d spent with him that she could state how she felt without any repercussions here. They wanted to know how she was doing and what she needed.
Edwyn looked her up and down, his eyes widening in shock. “You don’t have a coat . . . Lacy will have to fix that right away. You can’t ride or do anything out here without a good coat.” Edwyn headed toward the front of the barn.
Kelly followed him in case he wanted her to, though he made no motion for her, nor did he tell her what to do. She trailed him to a cabin in the front row of four rows of cabins. Edwyn drew out a key and shoved it into the lock, then pushed the door open.
“Here you are. Lacy should’ve brought your bag over while you were in the barn and made sure everything was ready for you in here.”
“I’m still in here!” A voice came from the back of the small cabin. She emerged from a door and headed for them, holding out her hand. Wrapped in the other arm was a bundle of what looked like sheets. “Hello. I’m Lacy, and I’m here to help you in any way I can.”
“She’ll need a coat. Any way we can put a rush on that?” Edwyn’s mouth crooked up as his brow furrowed.
“No coat? Goodness.” Lacy grabbed the one on the back of a nearby kitchen chair and laid it on the sofa. “That one will be too large for you, but use it until I can get one ordered. I have a few, so it’s no bother. Wyoming is way too chilly not to have one. I can’t imagine why they sent you without.” She frowned. “I didn’t touch your clothes, but your bag is in your room. I put fresh sheets on the bed. There are extra blankets in the chest at the end of your bed. Turn the heat to wherever you feel comfortable. If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask me. Welcome to Wayside.” She grinned, then gathered the sheets together and waved as she left.
Kelly picked up the coat and shrugged it over her shoulders. The little cabin wasn’t cold, but she still couldn’t warm herself. Everything from the travel to the conversation felt like a drain on her system.
“I think I need to rest.”
Edwyn nodded and took a step toward the door. “We’ll take this slow. You don’t need to ride on your first day, or even choose a horse. It’s just good that we got to meet and that you know you can talk to me.”
She could, but how much could she trust him? Would he listen or just condemn? He was friends with Sam and would probably tell Sam everything if she confided in Edwyn. She didn’t want him knowing she’d originally gotten herself in this situation willingly, at least somewhat, and that it was while they were still together.
Her stomach knotted. No one will ever want you again. You’re nothing but a bad girl.
Kelly ignored the near-constant inner thoughts. “Right. Where should I meet you tomorrow?” She hoped that was enough for him to understand she was too tired to do anything else that day.
“If you don’t want to go out anymore, either Victoria will bring your supper tray here or I will.” He seemed hesitant to leave.
“Okay.” Was she supposed to tell him what she wanted? Her heart picked up speed. Was he going to stand there or go? Did she need to choose a meal? What was the appropriate response? Nothing was easy anymore.
“If you need anything, pick up the phone in your room and dial #0, that will get you to Connor’s phone. He’ll get a message to me.”
She hadn’t had her own phone in years since she had no money of her own and she wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone, so having a phone had been an impossibility. Now, she had one in her room and the only one she could call was someone she didn’t know. “I won’t be doing that.” Talking on the phone with a virtual stranger? No thanks.
“Then I’ll see you at 5:30 when I bring your tray.” He touched his hat and left.
She wasn’t sure having Edwyn come to her door was any better than talking to a stranger on the phone.