Chapter 4
Chapter Four
K elly followed Connor down the hallway and into Brendon’s spacious office. He sat behind a large desk with immaculate stacks of papers on each corner. A golden bowl of chocolate sat at the far edge of the desk, closest to guests. Connor led her in and sat next to her.
“Brendon, I’ve brought Kelly in for her first meeting with you a little earlier than scheduled because we’ve already encountered some issues. I hope you can help Kelly feel a little more welcome and relaxed here. I’ll be adjusting her wrangler to help accomplish that as well. She has asked to go back to the halfway house.”
Kelly’s face heated by degrees until she felt ill. Were there no secrets around here? If every word she said to anyone was shared with everyone, then she still had no privacy. She tucked her hands between her knees and waited for Connor to leave. Then Brendon could take over where Connor had left off.
Connor closed the door and Brendon leaned forward, nudging the bowl of chocolate. “Feel free to have as many as you’d like. I’ve found that chocolate works wonders to help people feel better about sitting in that chair.”
Despite the teasing she’d endured her entire life, she’d never been a fan of chocolate. “Anything fruity?” She knew her question was a test. Would he be annoyed by her request?
He pulled open a drawer of his desk and drew out a bag of fruity toffee. “Will this work?”
Her heart gave a quick lurch. He hadn’t put her down for wanting something different, for not immediately taking what he’d offered. He didn’t even seem angry.
“That’s perfect. Thank you.” She took a piece of what she remembered being her favorite color and slowly unwrapped the wax paper, then popped it in her mouth. In that moment, she remembered that all she’d put in her stomach that morning was a few sips of coffee. Yet the taste was like childhood, swings, summer days, and playing in the sprinkler.
“Let’s start at the beginning. I find it’s the easiest.”
Maybe for him. She sucked on the candy for a while, gathering her thoughts. She could tell the truth, that Jasmine had befriended her, knowing that Kelly was too trusting, too friendly, unwilling to set boundaries. That Jasmine had used that to slowly take advantage of her and finally left her completely penniless. No one would ever confront Jasmine. Blaming her would be safe, but probably wasn’t completely accurate. Sam had warned her many times, but she’d convinced herself that he was just too practical to have close friends.
“The beginning is a very flimsy line. I’m not sure when I crossed it, exactly.”
Brendon made a short note on his paper. “Unless people are abducted, which isn’t always the case, I find that to be true. It’s like they are slowly drawn in and before they can change course their life is no longer their own. Start wherever you feel comfortable starting, even if it has nothing to do with where you were. Talk about what comes to mind.”
Kelly focused on her breathing, on not squirming, just relaxing. “Sam didn’t usually tell me who I should or shouldn’t hang out with, so when he said Jasmine was bad news, I probably should’ve listened. She had no friends and I felt bad for her. We worked together at a little mom and pop drug store that also sold cards, figurines, ornaments, stationary, stuff like that.” Life had been so easy back then.
“I had an old car that kept breaking down. I needed a new alternator and got behind on my mortgage, then I had to take a pay cut because the little shop had a break-in and they couldn’t afford to replace everything.” She curled her feet under her and hugged her knees. Her parents had told her she wasn’t ready to be on her own and she wasn’t ready to have a house of her own. They’d lived far away, and she’d been sure she knew better than they did. They didn’t know her bank account or her work ethic.
Brendon didn’t say anything, he simply waited for her to go on. Oddly, it gave her the sense that he had all the time in the world to listen to her. She took a deep breath and went for another taffy to help her go on.
“My friend Jasmine told me she had medical bills she needed to pay, that if she didn’t pay them, she’d go to jail. She was just as affected by the pay cut as me. I didn’t want to see her go to jail for something when I had the power to help her. I offered to write her a check, but she said she couldn’t remember the exact amount. Since my car was in the shop, I couldn’t take her to pay the bill. I did something really stupid. I trusted her.” Kelly still felt sick to her stomach. Hindsight was always perfect, but that didn’t mean it was without pain.
“Did she take advantage of you?” Brendon asked.
“She wiped me out, not just my checking account but my savings. She’d stolen my driver’s license, went to my bank and transferred everything from my savings account. Then she wrote out a check to pay the man who I later found out was her pimp. He’d been threatening to kill her if she didn’t repay some stolen money.”
Brendon glanced up from his notes. “Her pimp?”
Kelly bit her lip. She never talked about this. What good would talking do? She’d made errors and then she’d doubled down on them. “Yes.”
“And did he become your pimp?”
Heat scorched up her neck and all the way to the roots of her hair. She’d been sure she couldn’t feel embarrassed anymore, but the last few days had proven her wrong on that front, too. “Eventually, but not right away. At first, he didn’t tell me he was her pimp. He said he was her friend, that he’d helped her. Jasmine lied to me and told me he was very good to her and that if I listened to him and did what he said, I might be able to earn the money back quickly and keep my house. I tried for a while to get back on my feet, but without my car, I couldn’t find a different job. I was stuck.”
“I know you’re embarrassed, but nothing you say will leave this room. What you tell me isn’t like what you tell Connor or any of the others. This room is confidential.”
Kelly swallowed hard and gave a quick nod. At least Sam wouldn’t hear about all of this from Brendon. “Like I said, I have trouble saying no, backing out, drawing a line in the sand. I felt trapped, like I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t pay for my car repairs anymore or my house. I couldn’t even afford groceries.”
“And this was when you knew Sam?” Brendon jotted down a few more notes.
“Yes,” she barely got out the word. She’d been so terrified to tell Sam that he was right about Jasmine. What if Sam had seen Kelly for who she was, someone who was far too accepting of people for her own good? Someone who was unable to tell right from wrong in a situation until it was too late.
“And you didn’t feel you could go to him?”
Kelly closed her eyes and willed herself to come up with an answer. If only she’d trusted herself to come clean to Sam. If only she could go back in time and do things differently. “I didn’t go to him. This was my problem, not his. He’d told me he might be ring shopping, but until he did, I still had to answer for my own actions. And if I told him about all that was going on with me, he couldn’t have helped me and bought a ring. I thought the ring would solve my problems.”
Brendon nodded slightly, but didn’t press further.
“Nathan told me I only had to work for him for a short time, then I would be right back where I was. He told me the opportunity for making money was limitless if I would work for him. He was right, the opportunity was limitless. For him. I hated it and kept waiting for him to pay me. Before I knew it, Sam had disappeared, and the bank evicted me from my house.”
“And Nathan swept in to,” he held his hands up and made air quotes, “help you?”
Kelly nodded. “Yeah, since I was now homeless, he offered me an apartment, but my rent would have to come out of my pay. I asked him when I would see that pay. ”
“Did he give you an answer?” Brendon’s brows rose.
Gullible again. She hadn’t asked for a contract or any kind of paperwork. Though, even then, she’d known Nathan wouldn’t stand to be tested. Asking questions was a bad idea. “No, not really. He told me I’d have to work for him for a time and when I was done, he’d put $50,000 in my bank account, which would more than pay for what I’d lost.”
Brendon’s face softened. “Clearly he didn’t understand what you’d lost.”
“I want to leave.” She couldn’t explain why, but having Brendon come close to understanding her was doing something akin to a nuclear meltdown inside her. Emotions swirling, she gripped the arms of the leather chair and couldn’t move.
“Why? Connor has offered to change who you’ll ride with and talk to daily. That should help you acclimate better to Wayside. I can understand how having someone help you who is innately more gruff might bother you. It won’t change the situation, but I can promise you that he would never lay a hand on you.”
That wasn’t much comfort since she’d tried to convince herself in the moment he wasn’t going to hit her, but her fear wouldn’t allow her to consider any other option. Her fight or flight reflex always slipped to flight, even when she hadn’t been allowed to flee.
Brendon went on, “Is there another reason you’d like to leave? There doesn’t have to be one, but I’m curious.”
Maybe, since he seemed to be angling for her feelings on Sam, she could use that to her advantage. Brendon would tell Sam all her flaws and to stay away. All she had to do was tell them the truth about why she wanted to leave. If she had to stay, she’d be safely away from Sam, allowing him to go on with his life as he should have.
“It’s Sam. He had to come help me when I had trouble with Edwyn and I . . . felt something when he was near me. I felt safe. I have no right to feel anything for him or toward him. I know he doesn’t feel anything for me anymore, but I don’t want anything to grow between us because he deserves better than what I will ever have to offer.”
Brendon focused on her. “I know the pain you have is deep. There will always be a scar. You will probably never forget. But I can promise you that you have so much more value than you will ever know. I would normally never tell you to discount your feelings, but this case is different. Your feelings, in the case of your worth, are lies. Everyone has value. I hope you’ll see that soon, too.”
She shook her head, unwilling to change the conversation to herself again. “I don’t want Sam to get hurt. I don’t want to feel anything for him, and I don’t want him to feel anything for me.”
Brendon leaned forward and one side of his mouth quirked almost into a half smile. “What if Sam would agree to be your wrangler? No strings attached. He will promise to be here for you and stand back, letting you heal with someone you trust. Then he’ll let you go when you’re done.”
No one ever made promises without strings. Especially people with past hurts to protect. Not even Sam was that good. “He wouldn’t agree to that.” And if he did, it would be his training she saw. He wouldn’t be a protector anymore. Only cold comfort. That promise would kill her in that she would wonder if his kindness was simply the promise he’d made or genuine .
“He would. Every Wayside worker agrees to it with every single person who comes here. We all agree to help them learn where they fit into the grand scheme of this world, without us. The whole goal is to provide a safe place to heal and become the person you’re meant to be now.”
She couldn’t even picture that yet. It was so distant as to be almost unimaginable. To hear that some people made it to that point was promising, though. She said nothing in agreement, but Brendon reached for his cellphone and punched what had to be a text into it.
“Sam will be by shortly.”
She tensed and bit her lip. Connor had already come up with a solution. Would this make him angry? Would he think she’d gone behind his back? “Connor told me Junior would take over as my wrangler.”
“While I think that’s a suitable option and Junior wouldn’t say no, he needs time with his wife right now. When one of our guys is helping a guest, that’s a full-time commitment. Sam’s current client, Rebecca, is doing well and has formed a very good friendship with Gabby, Junior’s wife. I wouldn’t normally suggest switching wranglers, but in this case, I think it’s a good plan.”
Someone knocked on the door and Kelly fought the surge of sick in her stomach. She’d come to the office to get away from more time with Sam, and now she would be spending time with him daily. “This isn’t fair,” she whispered as Brendon beckoned Sam inside.
Sam came inside and sat in the chair next to her. “Is something wrong?” He glanced quickly at her, then at Brendon.
“Sam, thanks for coming so quickly. Kelly told me briefly about her situation yesterday. Thanks for coming to help her right away then, too. In talking with Kelly, we’ve come to the conclusion that—despite your past—I think it would be best if you would take over as her wrangler. Junior will take over with Rebecca. To do that, though. would require that you follow Connor’s rules to the letter.”
“You know I wouldn’t break Connor’s rules.” Sam’s voice was gruff, more unyielding than usual, and he didn’t look at her.
“Good.”
Sam sat back in his chair. “Why this sudden adherence to Connor’s rules? You’re usually the last one to press following them. Especially in this case, where my presence breaks one of them.” He laid his elbows on the arms of the chair and threaded the tips of his fingers together.
“I don’t disagree with the rules. I merely think the originals they are derived from are better. If you’d rather agree to follow those, I’m all for that.”
Kelly wished she’d paid more attention to the very brief explanation of the rules. Then she might understand the strange undertow that suddenly seemed to yank her emotions in every direction.
“Kelly needs someone to be her wrangler for the next few weeks while we try to find a safe place for her to go.”
He glanced at her. “You had a rough first day. I’m sorry about that. I’ll try to help you with the next few weeks. You can trust me. You don’t have to be frightened. I know that won’t be easy for you and you have no reason to trust anyone here. I’m just saying it out loud so you can begin to trust what people say. I’ll prove my words true.”
He always had before, except when he’d disappeared from her life. She wanted to believe him, but so many people had lied to her. There had been so many who had used her. Sam could be trusted, but her heart didn’t want to trust anyone and risk being hurt again. If his words proved to be lies, it might break her.
“I know you don’t believe me. I don’t expect you to. But I will do my best to make the next few weeks comfortable for you.” Sam’s head tilted slightly in her direction, but he didn’t look her in the eye.
There was a pain he was hiding from her, and she wanted desperately to know what it was. Had he known about the world she’d been thrust into? Did he think she’d chosen that life? If he did, he either didn’t know her as well as she’d thought he did, or he’d let himself believe he didn’t know her then. She hadn’t knowingly chosen to be a prostitute. She opened her mouth to ask, then shut it tight. Now was not the time. She’d already bared enough of her past in front of Brendon. Her heart was raw from releasing the venom trapped under years of pain.
No more for today.
“Fine. Two weeks.” She glanced up at Brendon. “I’m trusting you to do your part and to look for a place for me.”
He gave a sharp nod. “Just understand that this might take time. You were only allowed to come here because we have an understanding with our local police. They know about the danger that we might be in out here with the guests we have. Nathan was in direct contact with a woman known as Evie Carvel. If you were that close to the top, you are in danger. They will be afraid that you know too much.”
Kelly swallowed hard, now understanding why Nathan never let anyone go free and why those who escaped were quickly found and disposed of. She was actually shocked she hadn’t been found at the halfway house, though the protection around her had been extensive. They’d never let her outside, she’d gone by a different name, and they’d required that she wear a hat and glasses when she was with the other residents. It had apparently been enough to save her. That and no one had known where she was going.
“I understand. Implicitly.” But that didn’t negate the fact that she felt too much for Sam and would now have to control her every thought and word around him for the next two weeks.
“Good. Sam, why don’t you take Kelly outside and introduce her to her horse?”
Sam finally smiled. “That, I can do.”