22. Chapter 22
Chapter twenty-two
Cason
My bones ache as we trek up the last hill. I can see the roof of the funeral home in the distance and I’m beyond ready to sit down and take a load fucking off.
With Nora a few steps behind, I pause, returning her tired smile before stepping in after her as she passes me. Although I think hiding the truck was the right thing to do, knowing there’s a horde of the undead slowly stalking us does not bring me much comfort.
The kid on the electric bike refused to stop when we tried to wave him down and with no other choice, we diverted our journey to avoid certain death.
However, we met a few stragglers when we cut through the park. Swaying to an unknown beat, they perked right up when Larry tripped over a bulging root and barely kept from face planting in the dirt.
Since the park was more of a play area with a series of swings and other playground toys, there was nowhere to hide. We probably could have outrun them, but the straightest path was through.
Now, images of the young woman with a baby carrier still strapped to her chest roll through my brain. I have no idea where the baby went but it can’t be good that her teeth were stained with blood and her fingernails black with goo.
While I don’t regret ending her miserable existence, I have to wonder what we’re doing this for. Is this what we'll be fighting for the rest of our lives?
“Fuck my bones hurt,” Larry mumbles, breaking me from my thoughts and I silently agree as we enter the courtyard. Wet to the bone, my boots squelch with every step despite the fact that the rain tapered off a few minutes ago.
When Jason grunts ahead of us, I eye his stiff posture.
So far, he’s been helpful and provided valuable feedback.
I hope it stays that way because although Larry is good in a pinch, it’s easy to see he’s never contemplated survival.
Not so Jason who even now surveys the area as though he expects danger at every corner.
I suspect he did time but I’m not about to judge him for it because in the here and now, we’re all equals. I will have to keep an eye out though. I don’t know what he did, and I don’t want to risk the women and children by making assumptions.
“Hey now,” Jason mumbles when Bean comes bounding up from behind a bush. Bo rushes to greet her, his bushy tail wagging furiously and she whines and nudges his nose before they approach the front entrance of the building.
I’m so fucking tired, it takes me a moment to catch up to the fact that Nora stopped just inside the door with Larry at her back.
When Jason brushes my arm, I move to the side, gazing beyond the open doors. The women and girls must be within the main room and it’s on the tip of my tongue to bark at Nora and Larry to move when my eyes drop to the floor and the puddle of crimson that wasn’t there when we left.
A gust of wind blows through the courtyard sending a shiver down my spine as I push past the duo and make my way to the viewing room. Visions of their dead bodies dance before my eyes like a macabre slideshow and I’m preparing for the worst when I pause on the threshold and meet Shelby’s gaze.
Her blue eyes assess me coolly before she lowers the gun clutched in her hands. Staggering forward, I ask, “What happened?”
She merely shrugs and looks away. Zoey perks up from where she was sitting beside Amanda, but my stomach drops to my knees when I take in her pale countenance.
Two pews over, Elaine sits with her head in her hands and I’m about to ask where Nate is, that little fucker, when I spy the dead body on the floor.
This is when Shelby points to the man and says, “That happened.”
“Who the fuck is that?” I ask. When no one answers, I approach Nate who pokes his head up from the pew, his eyes wide and glassy before muttering, “What the hell is going on?”
“We were downstairs, man,” he whispers before wiping his nose.
Since that seems to be the extent of his story, I turn to Amanda who holds out her hands and says, “Th-They came. We were trapped and she . . . ”
When Amanda turns to Shelby, I take in her trembling form before closing my eyes. Interrogating her or them isn’t going to quell the panic prickling my skin. I need to calm the fuck down.
“Hey,” Nora says, picking up my vibe. “I brought clean shirts and stuff. Let’s wash up.”
At her suggestion, Shelby’s pale lips lift into a weird smile, and she mumbles, “Watch out for the fucker in there.”
What fucker? Immediately, I swing on my heel but when I bust into the restroom with rage suffusing my soul I find another fucking body.
A weird tingling sensation rushes down my spine as I take in the man, his fingers curled toward his chest and his face, fuck, his face is all but gone, crushed in and still oozing blood. What the actual fuck?
When Nora clears her throat, I step back, staring while the door closes with a slow whoosh. Meanwhile, my mind races with questions while my throat aches with regret.
I left them alone. I fucking failed them is all I can think as Nora slides behind me toward the men’s restroom, touching my back as she goes.
The gentle caress sends a shudder through me and I backtrack to the vestibule, eyeing Shelby now sitting in a pew and staring at the wall.
With the brutal burn of failure stinging my lungs, I sit down next to her, my stomach sinking to my toes when I spy the blood marring her fingers.
Fuck me.
Pressing my trembling hands to my knees I rasp, “Shelby? Are you okay?”
She shrugs her response and my gut aches at the notion that it was me who left them unprotected even though the sensible rational part of me sees that whatever happened, Shelby did just fine protecting herself.
It bothers me though that she won’t look at me and she’s so withdrawn a new worry surfaces. What if it’s this that breaks her?
I hear the faint murmur of Jason’s voice behind me as he speaks to Elaine and when I raise my head, I meet Zoey’s wide-eyed stare. Relaxing my tight features, I swallow twice to dampen the rage still burning my sternum and say, “Do we need to leave?”
At my question, Shelby finally turns and says, “I don’t know.”
“Two of them came,” Amanda says, pulling Zoey closer but Zoey squirms before slipping free. When Zoey sits beside Shelby, her features soften and she squeezes Zoey's hand now enclosed within her own.
Touching Zoey’s cheek, Shelby asks, “Are you okay?”
With a nod, Zoey burrows into her side and Shelby sags against the bench before wrapping her up tight, a new emotion brightening her eyes. The sight pulls at my chest, and I look away, searching for the reason.
For the first time I want to know her secrets and it’s this that pushes me up and away. I don’t consider myself a coward, but I admit if only to myself that this woman with the lost expression pulls at me in a way I’ve never experienced before.
But I can’t lose someone again. Not again.
Shelby
With a humorless smile I watch Cason move before leaning down to scoop Bean up into my arms. I have no idea where the dog went while this all went down but I’m relieved to see that she’s okay.
After the smoke settled—literally—Nate, Amanda and Elaine emerged bearing various implements in preparation for a fight.
Apparently, there’s a room beyond the one I found downstairs and if I had waited just a few minutes more we could have coordinated our attack.
In any case, once the threat was over, we all settled into silence. For me, this was time to reflect. I finally fought back. I defended myself and while a part of me feels the bitter sting of victory, I also fought the mother of all guilt.
Why? I don’t know. Those men were dangerous but that doesn’t mean I didn’t lose a little bit more of the humanity I’ve been clinging to after being treated like an animal for so many years.
I don’t regret what I did but I do wish that it hadn’t taken more of me than I was willing to give. What’s left feels precariously close to nothing.
Beyond that, I can’t help but to accept that we’re now surrounded by not only undead fuckers but murderers, rapists, and assholes and there’s no one to rein them in. We’re on our own in a way that we never were before, and the prospect is downright terrifying.
When Bean licks my lips, startling me from my reverie, I huff out a breath that turns to a smile because Zoey giggles. I hate that Zoey had to experience this nightmare, but her laughter soothes my soul in a way that I can’t define.
I don’t know how much longer I have in this crazy ass world but while I’m here I plan to keep that smile on this precious girl’s face if I can.
“I say we leave,” Nate says, and I look up when Cason grabs the gun I left near Pasco’s dead body and checks it before setting it down near his leg.
Avoiding Pasco and his vacant stare, I wait for everyone else to voice their thoughts. I don’t know what the answer is, but I do know that it doesn’t matter where we go. The danger is out there despite the circumstances.
“Uh,” Lance says, stumbling back into the room. He wipes a shaky hand down his pale face, and I glance beyond his shoulder. I don’t see anything, but I’m saved from investigating when he says, “They’re out there. A lot of them.”
“Shit,” Larry mumbles and I silently concur as the group stands and approaches the windows facing the front of the building.
With a grimace, I pass Bean to Zoey and follow. Somehow, I end up next to Cason, who glances down when I brush his arm.
In no mood for his moods, I avoid his gaze as I take in the view.
Thankfully the wrought iron fence creates a divide because it would seem that the fencing around the boys and girls club finally failed and every fucking child that turned is now bumbling around no more than thirty feet from our door.
Fuck me.
Hundreds of the little creeps reach for the gate while others blink their black ringed eyes and chomp their teeth, all of them tiny little humans who didn’t deserve this. Tears prick my eyes while I look over the masses, pausing on a little boy with strikingly blonde hair and vibrant green eyes.
He’s still wearing his backpack and it’s almost bigger than him, causing his little shoulders to list to the left. The other things jostle him this way and that because he’s smaller and his baby fingers claw at the air between the poles of the fence. Something about his desperation burns my soul.
Are his parents dead? I hope so because if not, the sight of their precious boy turned monster will live rent free in their head forever, just like in mine.
Backing away, I spin around and stalk into the bathroom before stuttering to a stop. Steve, the asshole, still lies on the floor and gazing at his body, I’m overcome.
Where does the horror end? Is there somewhere safe or are we destined to roam this earth in constant battle? What’s the point? Is there a point?
Sliding to the floor, I press my palms into my eyes and stifle a cry behind my teeth. I thought I was free after Ben, but this isn’t freedom.
Shit.
Ben must be mocking me from his place in that fucking closet because I’m bound for a life of fear and fighting for my life. What’s new?
Laughter barks from me unbidden and I curl into a ball, tears mixed with chuckles choking the breath from my lungs.
It’s all pushing at me, but I don’t know how to claw my way free, until Cason’s earthy scent fills my nose and he sits down beside me. When he pulls me into his warm, strong arms, I bury my face in his chest and listen to the slow patter of his heart while I suck in slow deep breaths.
He doesn’t speak. What could he possibly say—that it’s going to be, okay? We both know that’s a lie.
Instead, he sits with me in silence, offering his comfort, despite his distance before. After a while, I finally sit back and sniffle, wiping the tears from my eyes. Avoiding his gaze, I mumble, “Sorry.”
Despite my gratitude for his comfort, I can’t help but be embarrassed for falling apart. I mean, he’s still a virtual stranger. I don’t even know his last name, his favorite food or what he likes to watch on television.
Does he eat toast in the morning? Drink milk in his coffee?
Shaking my head of my nonsensical thoughts, I glance up when he says, “Don’t be. We’re all crying a little on the inside.”
I can only stare as his words penetrate my fuzzy brain before I bark out a laugh and cover my mouth. When his eyes crinkle and a sexy grin curves his lips, I cackle and slip away, rasping, “We’re all crying on the inside.”
“Okay,” he grumbles, pushing to his feet.
He hides his smile behind a fake frown, and I slap his arm, saying, “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll hold you when it’s your turn to cry.”
I exit before he can respond and although I’m quietly mortified by calling him babe, I can’t hide my smile when I step into the main room.
For whatever reason, that little bit of comfort gave me the strength to move again and I’m okay with that because I have a feeling it’s these small moments that will keep us going when nothing else does.
It’s growing dark outside when I emerge and after plopping down between Nora and Larry, I help myself to a pastry and granola bar. With a wink, Nora passes over a bottle of water, and I drink it down eagerly, listening with half an ear while the group chats around me.
After a few minutes, Cason emerges and I glance at him sideways before going back to my meal, such as it is.
By silent agreement, we all create makeshift beds out of the box of clothes misplaced or forgotten over the years and stored in the closet.
My ribs ache as soon as I lay down on the hard floor, but my lids immediately flutter and I fall into a deep sleep, the slight whooshing sound of Larry’s snores soothing me.