13. Alex
THIRTEEN
Alex
“ D id you even hear me?” Brooke’s voice interrupts my train of thought, and I look over to see her with her hands on her hips.
“No, sorry.”
She scoffs and shoves a bottle of sunscreen towards me. “I need you to put this on my back.”
I grit my teeth, annoyed that she’s acting this way, but not surprised.
My eyes slide back over to the other side of the lake, and my jaw ticks as I watch some douchebag put his hands all over Opal. She doesn’t look particularly comfortable with it, either. Next thing I know he’s lifting her onto his shoulders and gripping her tan thighs.
Unfettered jealousy shoots through me, and along with it comes a tidal wave of guilt. I have absolutely no right to feel jealous, but fuck, I hate that guy right now.
It’s been a long time since I saw her in a swimsuit, she’s grown up a lot since then. She looks good, even from all the way over here I can see that. It’s wrong, I know. I shouldn’t be checking out another girl when my girlfriend is standing next to me. I’m an asshole, on so many levels.
“Okay,” I squirt some of the lotion onto my hand and start lathering her up. Her skin is soft and golden. She’s beautiful, and I know I’m a lucky fucker to be dating her, but sometimes I can’t get rid of the little voice in my head telling me that we’re not right for each other.
Brooke is very materialistic, she loves shopping and expensive things. It’s no surprise considering how wealthy she is, but sometimes she gets upset at me when I’m unable to supply her with a never-ending supply of fancy dates and jewelry.
I’m a lot more into the simple things in life. Spending time together, going for a walk on a sunny day, skipping rocks on a river. A memory of Opal and I as kids clouds my brain, and I shake my head to try and get rid of it.
“Done.” I hand the lotion back to her.
Her friend Paisley walks up behind us. I can’t stand her, she’s extremely rude and snobby, but I pretend to tolerate her because she’s Brooke’s closest friend. She has other friends that are cool, so I don’t understand why they’re so close.
“Who are the lesbians?”
I turn my head in the direction that she’s looking, but I can’t tell who or what she’s talking about because there are dozens of people in the water right now.
Brooke giggles. “Which ones?”
“Those two skinny ones that are splashing each other. What a cute couple.” She sticks her tongue out and makes a vomiting noise.
“Oh, you mean Opal and that other bitch?”
The hairs on the back of my neck rise up and my fists involuntarily clench. It’s like muscle memory at this point. If someone says anything remotely negative about Opal I suddenly feel like going to war. And I don’t like anything about this conversation at all.
“Yeah, them. They’re so weird. Always hugging on each other and shit.”
“They’re not lesbians. And even if they were it wouldn’t fucking matter,” I say matter of factly. I’m sure it’s evident in my voice that I’m not happy, but I can’t find a reason to care.
Brooke rolls her eyes. “You can’t deny they’re weirdly touchy with each other, babe.”
“You must like lesbian porn,” Paisley says before she bursts into obnoxious laughter.
Brooke narrows her eyes on her, but doesn’t say anything. My blood pressure is rising, and I feel like I’m losing IQ points from this conversation.
“Not particularly. I just happen to not give a fuck if a chick wants to date another chick because it’s none of my business.”
Paisley’s mouth shuts abruptly and she arches a brow at me. “Whatever. I’ll talk to you later, Brooke.” She sneers at me again before turning around and walking away. Thank god.
“What the hell, Alex? You can’t talk to my friend like that.”
“What about you talking shit about my friend?”
Her mouth twitches just barely. “You still hang out with her?”
“I mean…sometimes, yeah.” I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t hung out with her in months now. It’s not because I haven’t wanted to, though. Brooke and I just seem to be together 24/7, and the last couple of times I asked Opal to hang out she was busy or just didn’t reply.
“She’s kind of a loser. And it’s obvious she and that Maisie girl are obsessed with each other, Paisley’s right.”
I let out a sigh and close my eyes, knowing I might lose it if she says one more fucking thing about Opal. “You’re being a bitch right now.”
Her mouth pops open and she takes a step back. “Excuse me?”
“I said you’re being a bitch. Opal’s never done anything to you. In fact, she’s always been nice to you. I thought you two were friends?”
“Why would you think that? We never talk anymore.”
“You sure acted like it when you wanted her to come to your party.”
She laughs a little bit. “I just wanted to meet you, I knew you two were friends.”
Part of me already knew that, and I feel like the biggest dick on earth for falling for it. I shake my head and rake my hand through my hair. “Well that’s kind of fucked up in and of itself, Brooke. Oh and also, I wouldn’t give a single fuck if they were lesbians. There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”
Her eyes are narrowed into tiny slits, and I can feel the vitriol radiating off of her. “Um, yeah there is. It’s gross.”
My tongue suddenly feels heavy, my palms clammy, and my stomach clenches. “What if I was gay? You’d think I was gross?”
She slowly opens her eyes wider before looking around like she’s afraid someone around us might have heard me. “What?”
“I like guys. And girls. If you have a problem with gay people then this isn’t going to work.” It feels like I’ve vomited the words out. I don’t think I even meant for them to come out.
I’ve never said those words out loud before. Not ever. Not even when I was alone. I’ve hardly allowed myself to think about them . But something about this situation forced them out of me, and now they’re out there. I can’t grab the words and shove them back into my head, even though I wish I could.
She shakes her head and looks like she’s about to throw up, or cry. Part of me actually feels kind of bad now, it’s not like I wanted to hurt her. “You’re a fucking creep,” she whisper-shouts. There’s venom in her words, and I can tell that she means them. “Never speak to me again,” she says before picking her bag up from the ground and walking towards the changing room.
What the hell did I just do?