Chapter 17
Stella
A drian said he loved to hike, so I’m planning a hike.
I know he uses that time as alone time and might be bothered by me tagging along, but I . . . I can’t help wanting to help him. He does so little for himself and so much for others that he deserves for someone to step up and do things for him too.
And I will gladly be that person for him.
I spend the next hour making sure everything is ready, then change into some clothes fitting for the outdoors and head to Isa’s coffee shop.
I know Adrian will already be in his hiking clothes; he runs in the mountains every morning, and every time I see him in his sister’s coffee shop, he’s still wearing them.
You really notice a lot about him, don’t you?
I only now realize how much I pay attention to Adrian. Whether it be the fact that I know he doesn’t drink coffee, that he takes care of everyone around him, that he runs with his sister every morning, or that he loves hiking.
The longer I wait at his sister’s coffee shop for him, the more I hesitate. Maybe I’m crossing a line, maybe I should step back and leave him alone.
When I hear the bell chime next to me, I know with conviction I need to do this for him. I see the expression on his face: he’s worried. He’s worried because tomorrow is Monday and Isabella’s shop is clearly not ready. And he wants to help her, to do whatever he can to take care of her.
But who does the same for him?
No one does, because if anyone did in this town, the concept of being taken care of wouldn’t be so foreign to him.
Since the day I arrived, Adrian took every bit of me I was willing to show. He takes the lost, the dreamer, the honest, the vulnerable and makes space for it all, never asking for more than I can give. With him, I’m safe to be, and I know he needs that safety just as much as I do.
Adrian
My sister’s shop isn’t ready. Tomorrow will be the start of a busy week, and she’s not ready.
What do I do?
She obviously needs help from me.
Jay’s words come back to me.
But, what about my sisters? They need me.
Adrian, your sisters are adults now. They can figure out their problems on their own without you bulldozing through to find the solution. And if they need help, they know you’ll be there to help. I’d be willing to bet that you taking care of them so much makes them feel guilty.
The words come back at me like a punch to the gut.
“Hi, Adrian,” Stella calls from next to me.
“Hi, Stella,” I reply as I take a seat in front of her, trying to block out the noise my sister makes in her kitchen, trying to move through the uncomfortable itch to go help her. To do something . To help.
Stella’s hand lands on mine, and she rubs her thumb over it, as if she can sense the turmoil inside of me.
“Hey there, Adrian!” my sister calls from her kitchen cheerily. “I didn’t see you come in!”
I cave and ask, “Do you need help setting up your shop?”
She stops rushing around in her kitchen. “No, Adrian.” She giggles as if she finds my question ridiculous. “I’ll be fine. Jay offered to help around today.”
My heart stops beating. What? “Jay? As in Jay Harper? As in my best friend you constantly complain about? You’re letting him help you and not me?”
“Yeah, he is. I couldn’t believe it when he asked if he could help out this morning. I never thought I’d see the day.”
The shop’s bell chimes as the traitor comes in.
Jay looks at me and grins. “Looks like I made a hell of an entrance.”
“Well, you can move your ass over here and come help me, instead of wasting time trying to charm Stella with your infuriating cockiness and constant jokes,” my sister calls out in annoyance.
Well, at least their bickering hasn’t changed .
“I see my charm is very unappreciated, but I always keep my word. Stella and Adrian, I hope you’ll have a nice day.” Jay heads into Isabella’s kitchen.
“Charm, my ass,” my sister mutters loud enough for the whole shop to hear. I chuckle as I phase out their bickering, only to find Stella’s face red as a stoplight.
“What is it?” I ask Stella, laughter still in my voice.
“This is so far from being how I planned this to go,” she mutters to herself.
It’s only then I notice her foot is tapping and her hands are shaking, though she tries to hide it by holding her cup of coffee with both hands.
“What’s making you this nervous?”
She lets go of her cup of coffee and stares into my eyes, looking for something in them.
Her foot tapping gets louder, and I try to reassure her by repeating her gesture from earlier: I land my hand on hers and rub my thumb over her knuckles.
She smiles warmly, and her feet stop tapping.
“I thought about what we talked about and . . . I wanted to do something for you.”
How is it possible for this woman to have perfect timing in everything? We keep seeing each other around town, she finds me where I hide away from the world, and she offers to help the very next day I decide to step outside my comfort zone.
Stella starts getting more nervous when I don’t answer.
“I know you don’t spend a lot of time doing things for yourself, and I wanted to do something to help you.
So I prepared a hiking afternoon for both of us.
I asked Jay for help this morning since I needed help figuring out everything for this.
He offered to help Isabella out to ‘help convince you to do something for yourself.’” She groans.
“Ugh, now I know both Isabella and Jay know about what I planned because they’re both hiding behind that counter and spying on us. ”
I turn around to find Jay and Isabella hiding their faces behind drinks like idiots. I laugh at the sight. They can’t be serious.
Stella keeps going, “I’m sorry. I . . . didn’t mean to do anything that could make your friend or sisters give you trouble. I just wanted to do something for you.”
I chuckle and smile at her.
Not only did she set up an entire afternoon for us both to hike because she knows I struggle with taking time for myself, but she also tried to do so while not giving my sisters ammunition for giving me trouble .
It feels so special to have someone see you and try to help in any way they can.
“Stella. Don’t . . . Don’t apologize,” I reply when I finally get back my ability to speak. “What you did is . . . ” I chuckle, words feeling inadequate. “What you did is leaving me speechless. It’s perfect.”
Her entire eyes light up. “Really?”
I can’t help grinning at her. “Yeah, really.”
She giggles with joy. “I feel much better now! And you can tell your sisters they can interrogate me instead of you; I’ll take the fall for both of us if I have to.”
I laugh at her enthusiasm. “Stella, if I open the door for that, they will interrogate both of us every single time we give them the ammunition to.”
She laughs too. “Then take the fall for both of us. I’d rather keep myself away from interrogations.”
“Well, it’s too late for that, Stella!” Isabella calls from the kitchen, laughing her butt off.
Stella buries her face in her hands. “You have got to be kidding me.”
I laugh. Yeah, she’s stuck in this with me. “Come on. Let’s get away from here before we give these two more ammunition against us.”
We’re both grinning and, for some reason, I feel an invisible string pulling me closer to her as she smiles up at me. And with her hand in mine as we get away from my sister’s coffee shop, we feel like a team, Stella and I.
…
We make it to the mountain shortly after that. Stella walks ahead of me, a gorgeous, excited smile on her face.
“Come on! Hurry up! I’ve been waiting all morning to come back here!”
I smile at her enthusiasm. Watching her being so excited to hike makes it feel less like doing something for myself and more like doing something for both of us.
And you’re glad she is as excited to hike as you are excited to hike with her.
Yeah, that too.
We start our trail with the sun high above us, shining its golden rays all around us. The plants, the trees, the rocks . . . Everything is lit up by its light.
But the only thing I notice is how the rays of sunshine highlight the brightness of Stella’s eyes. They are coming alive, and it’s taking my breath away, and making her chestnut curls look even shinier. And her smile . . .
I slow down my pace so the moment can last a little while longer. Watching Stella discover hiking is about as dazzling as listening to her play the piano.
She has that look on her face, like she found something deeper than a simple hobby.
And having seen the lost look on her face so often, pride fills my chest at knowing that, this time, I’m the reason her face is lit up that way.
Stella
Hiking is amazing. How did I never try it before?
The view, the feel of the wind against my skin, feeling wild and free and grounded all at the same time. It has a magic of its own.
And your opinion might be influenced by the man right behind you.
Maybe.
Probably.
Yes. Totally.
Adrian has been walking behind me since we started, and having his presence around me changes everything.
Having the freedom to not just be as I am, but be wild and out of control, and still be fully accepted, is a feeling I didn’t realize I craved so badly until today.
And he doesn’t just fully accept you, he cheers you on and runs along with you.
Okay, now I need a distraction. If all my thoughts are going back to him, I need to . . . do something to stop it. Because this moment is supposed to be about him doing something for himself, not about me. I drop my bag from my shoulder and grab my bottle of water.
“Do you need to drink?” I ask as I dig around the bag to find the one I brought for him.
He smiles. “You really thought of every little detail, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.” I laugh. “I’m kinda known to obsess over the little details.”
We’re both grinning at each other as the seconds tick by.
He nods, and I throw the bottle at him, which he catches easily. But as I grab the backpack to lift it, he stops me with a hand on my shoulder.
“Let me carry it. You look tired.”