Chapter 14
POV: Alexander
And suddenly I was there.
Barefoot on the sand, standing in the marina that held all our best memories—
Watching Amber walk out of my life.
Again.
I watched her go like I did twelve years ago.
Like I made her do.
Because Amber… she’s not the girl who leaves.
She never was.
She’s the one who stays.
The one who holds your hand and walks through hell with you, like it’s nothing, like love is enough to survive anything.
And that—
That’s exactly why I broke her.
My hand slid into my pocket, fingers closing around something cold.
Solid.
Familiar.
The ring.
My mom’s ring.
The one she gave me before she died.
You give this to the girl who has your heart, she told me, her voice soft but certain. The one who will take care of you. We both know who she is.
Yeah.
She knew.
She always knew.
I swallow hard, my chest tightening as I stare at the ocean, but I don’t see it.
I see her.
Amber.
Always her.
I won’t lie to myself.
The plan was never to lose her.
The plan was to wait.
Just… wait.
Wait for my mom to get better.
And then I’d go back to Amber, tell her everything. Tell her I never stopped loving her, not for a second. I’d give her the ring, ask her to marry me, ask her to stay.
Or hell—
I would’ve stayed.
I would’ve followed her anywhere.
Stanford, New York, the other side of the world—it didn’t matter.
I wasn’t ambitious.
Not like her.
She was everything.
Brilliant. Fierce. Unstoppable.
The kind of person the world makes space for.
Teachers used to say it all the time—she’s going to be something.
A president. A lawyer. A CEO.
God, I always saw her like that.
Running some massive company, owning every room she walked into.
And still coming home to me.
We were that kind of love.
Or at least…
We were supposed to be.
I scrub a hand over my face, the memory hitting too hard, too sharp.
I remember the day everything changed.
I was going to surprise her.
Some stupid teenage thing—balloons, a rose, sneaking into her room like I was doing something big.
I had her mom let me in.
I thought I was being romantic.
I thought I was about to make her smile.
Instead—
I found her future.
Letters.
So many fucking letters.
Acceptance after acceptance, spread across her bed like proof of everything she was.
And right there in the middle—
Stanford.
Her dream.
The one she talked about like it was written in her bones.
And attached to it…
A letter.
Typed.
Ready.
A rejection.
Thanking them for the opportunity.
Turning it down.
My chest tightens just remembering it.
Because I knew.
God, I knew.
She would’ve told me it was for her parents.
For staying close.
For something practical.
But I knew the truth.
She was choosing me.
Choosing us.
Over everything she had ever dreamed of.
And in that moment—
I broke.
I remember sitting there on her bed, holding that letter, and crying like something inside me was being ripped out.
Because I knew exactly what I had to do.
Amber stays.
So I had to be the one to leave.
No matter what it cost me.
I let out a hollow laugh, shaking my head.
I did it in the worst way possible.
Coward.
That’s what I was.
I told her I wanted to party.
That I wanted freedom.
That I didn’t want to be tied down.
Bullshit.
I hated parties.
Always did.
But I needed her to hate me.
Because if she didn’t—
She would stay.
And if she stayed…
She would give up everything.
Three days.
That’s how long I lasted.
Three fucking days before it felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore.
I couldn’t eat.
Couldn’t sleep.
Couldn’t exist without feeling like something vital had been ripped out of me.
And my mom—
Even then, even like that, she saw right through me.
“I need you,” she told me once, her voice weak, but her eyes… sharp.
And I told her I couldn’t.
That I couldn’t even stand up straight.
And she just looked at me and said,
“Your heart isn’t here.”
I close my eyes, the memory hitting like a punch.
If she’s the one… you don’t let her go.
So I didn’t.
I went back.
I asked for another chance.
And Amber—
Perfect, forgiving Amber—
She gave it to me.
Of course she did.
I still remember kissing her that day.
Like coming back from the dead.
Like breathing for the first time again.
Like everything had snapped back into place.
We had that night.
Perfect.
Easy.
Us.
And for a few hours, I let myself believe…
Maybe I didn’t have to lose her.
Maybe I could keep her and still fix everything.
Maybe love was enough.
But the next morning—
My phone rang.
And everything ended anyway.
My dad.
His voice… wrong.
Too tight.
Too controlled.
And then he said it.
Diagnosis.
Cancer.
And just like that—
I knew.
There was no maybe anymore.
No waiting.
No fixing it later.
There was only one choice.
Lose her now…
Or destroy her future with me.
My mom was sick.
And all I could see… was the future.
Hospitals. Treatments. Machines. Long nights that never seemed to end.
Days that blurred into each other until time didn’t make sense anymore.
And in every single one of those moments—
I saw Amber.
With me.
With her.
Smiling softly at my mom, holding her hand, making stupid little jokes just to lighten the weight in the room.
Sleeping beside me in those uncomfortable chairs, her head on my shoulder, refusing to leave even when I told her to.
I saw her there in everything.
And that—
That’s exactly why I had to let her go.
Again.
The thought alone made my chest feel like it was caving in.
Because I knew something else too.
I knew I couldn’t do it to her face.
Not again.
Not after I had already broken her once… and then begged for another chance like I couldn’t survive without her.
Because I couldn’t.
But I also couldn’t look into her eyes—those eyes that trusted me, that loved me—and shatter her all over again.
So yeah.
I was a coward.
Not because I didn’t love her.
But because I loved her too much.
Because I knew her.
I knew the way she loved.
Fierce. Loyal. Unwavering.
Amber doesn’t walk away.
She stays.
She fights.
And there wasn’t a single universe where she would choose Stanford… if I was still standing in front of her, asking her to stay.
People could say anything they want.
She could’ve gone later.
She could’ve deferred.
She could’ve balanced both.
No.
Not Amber.
Not with me.
She would’ve stayed and gone through every second of that hell with me.
And she would’ve lost everything she worked her whole life for.
That scholarship wasn’t just an opportunity.
It was once in a lifetime.
And it was for that year.
There were no second chances.
So I made the choice for both of us.
And I hated myself for it.
I told myself it was temporary.
That my mom would get better.
That this was just a phase.
A nightmare we would wake up from.
And when she did, when everything settled—
I would go after Amber.
I would go to Stanford, find her in the middle of that campus, drop to one knee in front of everyone, and give her the ring.
I dreamed about it.
More times than I can count.
But reality doesn’t care about plans.
My mom didn’t get better.
She got worse.
And those hospital nights—
God.
Those were the hardest.
Because that’s when I felt her absence the most.
In the silence.
In the exhaustion.
In the moments where everything felt too heavy and I had no one to lean on.
I knew Amber would’ve been there.
I knew it with every part of me.
She would’ve held my hand.
She would’ve taken care of my mom like she was her own.
She would’ve made everything… softer.
Easier.
She would’ve been my home in the middle of all that chaos.
And I wanted that.
God, I wanted that more than anything.
But I couldn’t take her future for my comfort.
So I suffered alone.
I cried in hospital bathrooms so my mom wouldn’t hear me.
I told my dad I was fine when I felt like I was falling apart.
I was eighteen years old—
And I had to become a man overnight.
And I did.
I worked more that year than I had in my entire life.
I stayed.
I didn’t run.
I was there for her until her last breath.
And even then…
Even then, she gave me the ring.
Told me to give it to the girl who had my heart.
Like she still believed in a future I wasn’t sure I deserved anymore.
Because what did I have to offer Amber after that?
Grief?
Uncertainty?
A boy still trying to figure out his place in the world?
So I made myself another promise.
I would build something.
I would become someone.
And then—
Then I would go after her.
It took time.
More than I expected.
I went to college close to home, stayed with my dad, helped him with the construction company.
Somewhere along the way, I found marketing.
And I was good at it.
Really good.
Good enough to build something of my own.
And every step, every decision, every late night—
She was there.
A ghost in everything I did.
So I told myself:
When I have my own company, I’ll go after her.
And when I did—
She was in law school.
Her other dream.
So I waited again.
When she finishes… I’ll go after her.
But life kept moving.
Years passed.
And suddenly—
It wasn’t a plan anymore.
It was twelve years.
Twelve years of carrying her in every part of me.
Twelve years of unfinished sentences and what-ifs.
Twelve years of loving someone who wasn’t mine anymore.
And then—
This project.
The marina.
Our place.
The place where everything started.
Where we were just kids, falling in love like it was the easiest thing in the world.
I couldn’t say no.
Maybe part of me knew.
Maybe part of me hoped.
But nothing—
Nothing could’ve prepared me for the moment I walked into that room…
And she was there.
Amber.
Real.
Breathing.
Standing right in front of me like every dream I ever had decided to come true all at once.
And she was…
More.
More beautiful.
More confident.
Stronger.
Like life had shaped her into everything I always knew she would become.
And when she looked at me—
I saw it.
That same girl.
The one who loved me.
The one I broke.
The one I never stopped loving.
And in that moment—
I made myself one last promise.
I would do it right this time.
I would fight for her.
Win her back.
Earn her trust.
Earn her love.
Make everything I took from her worth it.
I was going to tell her the truth.
All of it.
Today.
Before everything fell apart.
Before—
Maria.
But this isn’t her fault.
It never was.
This?
This has always been mine.
I’m the one who broke her.
I’m the one who lied.
I’m the one who thought I could control how much damage I caused.
And now—
I don’t know if there’s anything left to fix.