Chapter 15
POV: Alexander
I stayed there on the sand long after she was gone.
Like if I didn’t move… maybe none of it would be real.
Like if I stood still enough, time would rewind and she would turn around and come back to me.
But she didn’t.
She never does.
Not when I’m the one who pushed her away.
Again.
My hand tightened in my pocket until my fingers brushed against the metal.
The ring.
I pulled it out slowly, like it weighed more than it should.
Like it carried every mistake I ever made inside it.
My mom knew.
Even dying, she knew.
Amber was the one.
And the worst part?
I knew it too.
I always did.
From the very beginning.
From the first time she looked at me like I mattered.
From the first time she held my hand like she wasn’t afraid of anything as long as I was there.
I rolled the ring between my fingers, watching the diamond catch the sunlight.
It sparkled.
Bright.
Alive.
Like it didn’t belong in my hands anymore.
I lost count of how many times I imagined this on her finger.
How many times I played that moment in my head—
Me dropping to one knee.
Her laughing first, because she always laughs when she’s overwhelmed.
Then crying.
Then saying yes.
Always yes.
I almost had it.
Twice.
And I ruined it.
Twice.
A broken breath left my chest as I pressed my thumb harder against the ring, like I could feel something through it.
Like maybe I could feel her.
“I’ll do it again,” I muttered, my voice rough, barely holding together. “I’ll ask you again.”
I swallowed hard, shaking my head, tears burning behind my eyes.
“I’ll ask you a thousand times if I have to.”
Because I would.
I fucking would.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life fixing this,” I whispered, my throat tightening. “Just… give me one more chance to do it right.”
My hand came up to my face, dragging roughly over my skin, wiping the tears that wouldn’t stop falling.
I sucked in a breath that didn’t feel like enough.
Nothing felt like enough.
But one thing settled inside me, heavy and undeniable.
I wasn’t losing her again.
Not like this.
Not without fighting.
Not after everything.
She deserved the truth.
She deserved the choice.
She deserved me—all of me, no more hiding, no more deciding for her.
And if she still walked away after that—
At least it would be her decision.
Not mine.
Not again.
I closed my fist around the ring.
Decision made.
She wouldn’t be at the hotel.
No.
She wouldn’t go somewhere easy.
Somewhere safe.
That’s not how Amber works.
She goes where it hurts.
Where it matters.
Where things end.
My chest tightened.
Her parents’ house? Maybe.
But something in me… knew.
Knew exactly where she would go.
My house.
My mom’s house.
The place that still held everything we never got to say.
The place where she should’ve been allowed to say goodbye.
“Fuck.”
The word tore out of me as I turned, already moving.
I ran.
Sand shifting under my feet, breath coming too fast, too sharp, like my body couldn’t keep up with the urgency clawing through me.
I barely remember getting to the car.
Barely remember starting it.
All I know is the sound of my pulse in my ears and the way my hands gripped the wheel so hard they ached.
I drove like a maniac.
Didn’t care.
Didn’t think.
Every red light felt like an insult.
Every second like something slipping further out of my reach.
After my mom died, my dad couldn’t stay there.
Couldn’t breathe in that house anymore.
But he couldn’t let it go either.
So it stayed.
Closed.
Frozen in time.
Someone came by once in a while to cut the grass, paint the walls, keep it from falling apart—
But no one lived there.
No one touched it.
Like if we didn’t, maybe she wasn’t really gone.
My hands tightened on the wheel as I turned the corner of the street.
And then—
I saw her.
Amber.
Sitting on the porch.
Curled into herself like she was trying to hold something together that was already shattered.
Crying.
Not quiet tears.
Not soft.
Her whole body moving with it.
Breaking with it.
My heart stopped.
Actually stopped.
Because she was there.
In front of that house.
In front of her house too, in a way.
Because my mom loved her like she was already family.
Because Amber belonged there long before I ever deserved her.
I cut the engine without even realizing it, the car jerking to a stop.
For a second—
I just stared.
Afraid that if I moved, she would disappear.
Like she had before.
Like I made her do.
And then I heard it.
Her voice.
Soft.
Broken.
Carried by the wind just enough to reach me.
She was talking.
Not on the phone.
Not to herself.
To her.
To my mom.
My chest caved in so hard I had to grip the door just to breathe.
Because she came here.
Of course she did.
Even after everything.
Even after what I did to her.
She still came here to say goodbye.
To the woman who loved her.
To the life we never got to have.
And maybe—
Maybe she wasn’t just talking to my mom.
Maybe…
She needed me to hear it.