Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
ISABELLE
Iwoke up to darkness again with the heaviness of a chemically induced sleep leaving me groggy and confused.
I knew, from the echoing sadness, that I was home.
I wriggled with difficulty.
A voice groaned in the blackness and I stilled.
An arm clamped around my waist and pulled me against a large body, the smell familiar, but not in a good way.
My senses woke up. Teddy.
My hands glanced over my body, the nightdress I’d woken in yesterday remained in place, the sheets wrapped tightly around me. He wasn’t in the bed.
“Izzy?” he mumbled.
My heart skipped a beat. “Uh-huh.”
His arm tightened around me, I rolled and he loosened to allow it.
Slowly, my eyes adjusted. There was a faint glow around the curtains behind him outlining his form on the top of the bed, the shroud of a blanket covering his long body.
I could make out the angles of his face, the soft pursing of his lips, the peaceful rest of his face in sleep.
Conflict warred inside me.
This was bad, I knew it was bad. I needed to do something.
My mother’s voice echoed in my head ‘if it were my choice, I’d give you a few weeks in Cliffedge’.
Cliffedge was the most upmarket of institutions. But an institution, it still was.
Branded as a wellness facility, many society wives would go for weeks at a time, some even after birth. And although it marketed itself with an air of rejuvenation and replenishment, we all knew what was underneath.
It was carefully curated to be both a prison and a restoration clinic. A woman could disappear inside for days, or weeks.
Spending time at the facility could be frowned upon, but in the same breath, the clinic was revered. Women came out calm, content, compliant.
My spending a few weeks inside, that could easily be sold as a long retreat after an extremely devastating ordeal. And I had no doubt, at all, that I would come out the picture of Teddy’s perfect political trophy wife.
Perhaps that wouldn’t be the worst thing.
I thought back to the speed with which I’d lost myself to the drugs he gave me.
I’d been so na?ve. So, deeply, na?ve. After all, this was the best-case outcome if I were retrieved by my family.
This was the hand I had been dealt. The bed I had made. Now I had to figure out how to face my music. My rogue chickens had come home to roost.
Perhaps I could make some lemonade with the lemons life had given me.
I chastised myself for the disappointing pep talk slash bollocking.
Teddy’s eyes opened, almost devoid of colour in the gloom. They were nothing like my men’s.
His elegance in sleep washed away when the shutters on his personality slid open.
“I dreamed you had left me again.” He sounded wounded.
No doubt he was. Pride and all that.
“I’m here,” I responded, quietly.
His lips quirked and I entertained the ridiculous hope that the harsh part was past.
“We have a busy day.” He lifted his hand to brush my unruly hair behind my ear and I fought to remain still and composed.
I didn’t want him to touch me.
“You have a fitting this morning, the doctor will be back this afternoon. Plus, I’ve arranged your beautician to come here later.” He smiled and I returned the gesture shakily.
“Will I see anyone else, with the beautician?” I meant Sophie. Originally, our time being prepped for the wedding was planned together. It must be soon if I was being trimmed and waxed and painted today.
Teddy frowned and that was my only answer.
He reached over and pulled the cord beside my bed that indicated to the household staff that we were awake before reclining back beside me, watching me earnestly. The thoughts behind his eyes evident in the way they hardened then relaxed.
Teddy was waging a war in his head.
The doors to the room opened and two of our maids entered. One carried a tray, the other crossed the room, drawing the curtains and flooding us in morning sunlight.
Teddy rose, collecting the blanket and folding it. The maid watched him before blushing furiously when he passed it to her flashing a sparking smile, the effect instant as she popped a cute curtsy and a sly smile before tidying the blanket away.
“Miss Isabelle, is there anything you need this morning?” the one nearest asked earnestly.
“She’s quite alright, thank you, Tilly,” Teddy replied for me.
I didn’t turn to him, simply nodded in agreement and the two women left.
Teddy collected the tray, returning to my side of the bed, he waited expectantly.
I straightened, and he placed the tray over my lap with a small smile, much less dazzling than the one he offered to Tilly. Maybe she wanted him?
The rattle of pills unnerved me; Teddy held several out in his open palm.
When I didn’t take them immediately, he arched a brow.
“Which are they?” I asked.
He paused for so long I didn’t think he would reply.
“Letrozole.” He pointed at one, he then pointed at two others. “Supplements, and these are your benzos.” He pointed at the last two.
“Two?” I asked.
He watched me carefully.
“Teddy.” I managed my tone to avoid pleading, he wouldn’t respond well to that. “Two made me unsteady yesterday, could I please take only one, for now?”
His gaze turned calculating and his jaw ticked.
“I want to be in control for the appointments, the fittings,” I reasoned.
Teddy carefully withdrew one of the two sedatives and poured the rest into my outstretched hand, waiting as I swallowed them down with a glass of orange juice.
Stepping away he rounded the bed to an armoire, opening it and withdrawing several items of clothing. He’d moved into my room. He’d said he’d be next door.
Shaking myself I forked several pieces of fruit, slowly swallowing them down. It was like making home with a serpent, a constant threat.
He slowed on his journey across the room to make sure I was eating. Our eyes clashed and he took the opportunity to snag the long-sleeved top he wore, pulling it over his head revealing his body to me.
I’d seen it before, we’d holidayed together as families, and we both had pools and grew up in each other’s company.
He was all man, lithe and sculpted. And I felt nothing.
I dropped my eyes, hoping he read the small blush as something positive, not the memory of three other bodies that consumed every spare thought, then he stalked into the en-suite.
“Beautiful,” the seamstress cooed. She was right, it was beautiful.
The ivory silk rose to a square neckline, the boned bodice hidden under a trail of buttons. The structured waist broke loose when it passed my hips, flowing into a long elaborate train, the silk of the skirt covered in Chantilly lace.
The headdress held a veil in place, the cathedral length passing the train of my gown on the floor behind me.
“Really, Theodore, you ought not to be present for this,” Mother chided him.
He sat facing away, a long sofa pulled in front of the ever-blazing fire. I could see where his leg was bent and raised onto the seats, a device between his fingers.
“Please, Mrs Blackthorne.” Teddy didn’t turn when he addressed her, all spun sugar and pleading. “I couldn’t tear myself from Izzy’s side if I tried. I assure you, I can see nothing.”
Mother simpered. It disgusted me.
The seamstress adjusted the tiara, the jewelling of it subtle and elegant, and the sparkling stones no doubt entirely too real and expensive. The front veil tucked neatly over it, the edges of the headpiece smooth and offering no risk of snagging or tearing the delicate fabric.
She looked at me, truly looked at me, and frowned. Taking a tiny breath, she opened her mouth, glancing behind me to where Mother and Teddy chattered.
My smile was quick, insincere, but communicated – I hoped – the futility of her concern.
The woman dipped a nod and announced me ready. “I will make the final adjustments and have it delivered tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” I murmured politely as Mother returned to take it in.
“Quite wonderful, thank you, Mari. This should set the tongues wagging for entirely more appropriate reasons.” She revelled in the gown. “It really enhances your assets.”
My composure glitched. As far as Mother was concerned, I had no assets.
“Yes, this will have them talking for weeks,” she gloated.
The seamstress looked thrilled at the compliment, beginning to slowly remove the dress from my body, leaving me in the constricting undergarments and passing me a silk dressing gown.
At the sound of the garment bag zipping closed, Teddy turned, catching sight of the bare flesh beneath the robe that I had yet to pull tightly closed. The brush of his eyes on my body encouraging me to move more quickly.
His awe flickered to irritation and was then schooled.
Mother bustled from the room on the tail of Mari, her hands embarrassingly empty while the woman struggled with the gown and accessories.
I had no doubt she wouldn’t drop a single thing – the opportunity to dress this wedding would be a feather in her cap that would keep her in commissions for years – especially given the dress she had created for me.
Teddy was suddenly before me, standing tall while I bent to remove the thick heels I’d selected many months ago. I rose to find him deeply inside my personal space.
I stood straight and composed, feeling his fingers toying gently with the sash at my waist. He gave it a soft tug and it loosened, the fabric covering my breasts giving way in the absence of its hold.
The bridal lingerie was softer, less thick than the dress, but the extra layer of boning sculpted my figure for the heavy gown, the double effect creating a desirable silhouette, if one desired curves.
Teddy’s eyelids had hooded, his face warming – I hoped from the fire but more likely the view of my chest, pushed up under the constriction of the lingerie.
His fingers found the swell of my breast and danced across it, his lips parting with a sigh. He kneaded my flesh, his fingertips digging under the silken top edge to brush over my nipple.
I gasped at the intrusion and he took it for arousal, bending to take my lips in a harsh kiss.
My body curled inwards instinctively, withdrawing from his hold and his kiss, and he froze.
I lifted my eyes slowly to see his reaction.
Desire had shuttered behind a cold rage, his fingers remained on my skin, his face expectant.
A rap on the doors was all the notice we had before they opened and someone bustled in.
“Good news,” the doctor announced as Teddy and I stood, staring at each other. “All tests came back clear.”
Teddy’s features flared with emotion then cooled.
“How are we getting on with the medication? We ought to finalise any prescriptions now to get you through the next few weeks. I am assuming you will honeymoon away from the city so I will be unable to physically review your progress, Ms Fairchild.”
Stop calling me Fairchild. I bristled and Teddy glared at me in challenge.
The doctor had stopped bustling behind us, although neither of us had acknowledged him, let alone looked at him.
“So,” he pushed. “The medication?”
“She feels much improved, Doctor,” Teddy replied, his breath whispered across my lips as he spoke. “She still struggles though.”
I felt my eyes widen at his comment, his daring me to argue.
“Okay, well, I wouldn’t recommend over-medicating at this point,” the doctor began.
Teddy swung his glare the man’s way and his next words were cautious.
“I can leave you another prescription, but I really wouldn’t prescribe any more than two, maybe three per day for the first few weeks.
One is the normal dosage but given your situation.
” He gulped. “No more than three. Especially with the quick-acting top-ups prescribed. I wouldn’t allow both if you go so high. ”
“Three,” Teddy whispered, returning his attention to me.
I flinched. Two had me dizzy, the room spinning.
The doctor began fumbling behind me, the telltale sounds of bottled pills being prepared and placed onto the surface.
“I’ll arrange a follow-up in three weeks, Mr Fairchild, after the honeymoon, but of course, I am available when you need me.” The sound of the door closing as he withdrew from the room left us back in a loaded silence.
“Teddy,” I began but he shushed me.
“This would all be a lot more pleasant, Isabelle, if you were to choose your battles more wisely.” His finger glided over my nipple within the confines of the corsetry. “You’re overly emotional, and you’re making rash decisions lately.” He blinked slowly at me waiting for me to agree.
I nodded, my stomach heavy with dread.
“For now, we need to keep you calm.” His finger moved across my sensitive skin with the word. “So you can make more suitable life choices.”
He waited for the words to hit home.
“You will not be allowed to embarrass your family, nor mine, anymore. Let alone ours, Izzy.”
The threat landed. Cooperation was a choice, or medically supplemented.
I rolled my lips together; his words had my stomach turning over.
“Are you going to cooperate, Isabelle?” he asked, his free hand snaking around my waist to tug me closer.
I nodded.
“Use your words,” he growled.
“Yes, Teddy.”
He smiled sharply at his victory, his lips finding mine once again, and this time, I kissed him back.