Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
ISABELLE
Warm flesh pressed against my body, curling into me and waking me from sleep.
Teddy’s breath ghosted over my neck, the smell of liquor and cigars wafting from him.
“I missed you tonight,” he mumbled drunkenly.
I muttered incoherently in response, selling that I was still deeply sleepy when in reality I was anything but.
“I’m sorry to have left you.” His hands began to roam and I thanked my stars for my mother’s choice of nightwear, conscious we were in agreement on something since I had returned home.
In the few times I’d seen her since returning home, the only thing we seemed to agree on was that it was improper for Teddy to be in my room.
But the decision was clearly above her paygrade because her comments and gripes had gone unnoticed, and Teddy was amassing more and more items in my bedroom, evidently not leaving.
“But I had to go to the club, it was expected.” I was rolled onto my back underneath him.
“Although I made myself scarce, and they all understood. Assuming I was coming home to get lost in you. The rejection of pre-marital relations is all but dismissed since you were stolen from me,” he mumbled, believing his own lie.
My heart thundered before he grumbled at himself, then tugged me into him.
Cautiously I lifted my hand to cup his waist, giving him the contact he clearly craved and he sighed at the slight concession.
“Come back to me, Izzy,” he murmured, his lips finding my neck and laying gentle kisses along my skin.
I swallowed heavily. “I’m here, Teddy.”
He mumbled something against my skin as I began to stroke my fingers across his back, his body relaxing and his breathing slowing until he stilled, his body settling firmly over mine as he fell asleep.
Any wriggling was futile; his body was too big and his weight too much. The few times I pulled away he clawed me back to him and we remained like that for hours, long after the sun crept around the blinds, and after my bladder began demanding a morning toilet break.
Reprieve came from a knock at the door, one of the maids opening it gently.
“I’m so sorry to disturb, Miss, Mr Fairchild,” she corrected herself.
Teddy startled awake, his shock turning into relief when he found me lying beneath him.
“The teams are here, for Miss Isabelle, to get ready.” She’d entered the room, dithering by the blinds.
“Yes, Tilly, it’s okay,” Teddy cooed at her and I swallowed back the nausea at his tone.
The curtains were drawn and I looked between them, her endless blushes and his boyish charm. It was nauseating, the duplicity of him.
She bobbed her head and retreated from the room, returning with a trolley covered in foods before Teddy winked and excused her.
He gazed at me and caressed my jaw. The demands I made for my body to relax only went so far. I stared at him absently and he frowned, rising to collect the dreaded pills.
Thinking carefully as he shook them from each bottle. He paused, putting several down and breaking one in half, then passing them to me.
“One and a half,” he threatened at the question in my eyes.
Two had me dizzy and drowsy, one had me feeling lucid but less… me.
His assessment of today’s compliance. One and a half.
I took them without argument. Teddy’s smile was less than kind.
“I’m too soft with you,” he spoke to himself.
Then he steeled with a decision. “No fucking about today, Izzy. You will find me a lot less kind when all eyes are on us. Do. Not. Fuck. About.” He took my face in a cruel grip.
“I haven’t forgotten, no matter how much I want to.
I know what you are, Isabelle. You’re a conniving manipulator in a beautiful body. But you are bested by me.”
I gulped, accepting the pills and taking them as he watched.
“Right now, I’m deciding how firm I will be with you going forward. I strongly recommend that you act accordingly. Next time, there will be no coming back from my disfavour.”
He lowered his face to mine, the challenge evident.
I closed my eyes and raised my face to him, glancing my lips across his and accepting it when he deepened the kiss.
Cupping my throat, he squeezed slightly. “Good girl.”
The woman staring at me in the mirror was transcendent. Tendrils of silver curls framed my face, the complex bun the hairdresser had spent hours working on was held in place with an entire box of bobby pins and was deeply uncomfortable.
My skin was porcelain perfection, the lightest of blush on my cheeks, there was no bronzer, no contour – I looked pure.
The gold and charcoal eyeshadow brought out the gold of my eyes, the green and brown lightened by the metallic sheen. My lipstick the blush pink of a rose, subtle but gently glossy.
Diamond earrings to match the tiara hung to just above my collarbones, a simple gold chain adorned my neck, planned to avoid drawing focus away from the beauty of the dress.
It was calculated perfection.
The women working on me chattered quietly, they’d made some effort to engage with me, but even had I wanted to, my conversational skills were severely blunted by the soft buzzing under my skin.
The effect of the pills could only be described as the offspring of a warm hug, numerous shots of vodka, and a weighted blanket.
Immobilising, calming, overwhelming.
Yet, underneath it, I could sense the panic clawing to get free, screaming for my attention, but I couldn’t quite get to it.
“Is she ready yet?” The screech of my sister’s voice entered the room before she did and some of the irritation broke through the fog. “About time.” She clicked over to me in her stilettos, her face contorting into a signature snarl. “You’ve done a fantastic job of hiding the venomous snake.”
My jaw dropped. What did she just say to me?
“Shut up, Ester. Are you never content unless you’re spitting poison at someone?” Sophie rounded her to come into my eyeline. “Hey, Izzy.”
Her smile had my eyes burning.
“Oh, fuck no. Izzy.” Sophie rushed to me, yanking tissues from the vanity and dabbing gently at my makeup. “No, Izzy,” she hushed me.
Bodies trailed behind her into the room, Mother, Mari, and several people carrying boxes and bags.
A cork popped, glasses were passed to Ester and one begrudgingly to Sophie, orange juice was given to me.
“Up, let me see you.” Mother tugged me from the chair. “Good, very good.” She pinged a curl once, then twice, easing it looser. “Get dressed,” she ordered.
I allowed myself to be slipped behind a screen, grateful for the privacy, when Mari bustled in with my gown, lowering it to my feet, I stepped in, swaying slightly.
Mari steadied me, her eyes alight with concern.
“Come on!” Mother’s voice called and Mari hurried, tugging the dress up and beginning to work on the corsetry. The lacing soon to be hidden behind the buttoned silk, she worked and teased, turning the ribbons to straighten them, my breath turning shallower and shallower with each tug.
“Sophie?” Mari called.
Sophie’s head popped around the screen.
“Can you help Isabelle? She is feeling a little unsteady,” Mari suggested.
Sophie joined us, she’d changed into the flowing green gown. The one I’d chosen for her.
I choked on a sob; it was the colour of Sebastian’s eyes.
“Okay, Izzy. Let’s get you sorted.” Sophie’s face was alight with panic, though her voice didn’t betray her. She gripped my hands and steadied me while Mari finished, leaving us to put on my shoes.
“Izzy,” Sophie whispered as she crouched, digging under my dress for my feet. “Tell me what to do?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t breathe properly.
“Nothing, Soph. Please, if you do anything, just help me get through it,” I begged.
Sophie’s shoulders dipped under my hands where I held on to remain upright.
She straightened my gown, her eyes shining with tears.
“I’m so sorry, Izzy,” she gasped. “This is all my fault.”
My fog thinned slightly at the pain in her voice.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I whispered sharply at her, grabbing her arms. “You didn’t do this, I did this!”
She gulped, resisting the tears that threatened to fall.
“I did this, Sophie.” I lowered my voice so even Sophie would barely hear. “I was offered an opportunity. That is what you gave me. And I can never thank you enough.”
Sophie’s jaw slackened with shock. “What?” Her lips moved but barely any sound came.
I shook my head and she nodded. Not now.
Steadily, she guided me out, watching me with worry while I staggered forwards under the weight of the gown and the height of my heels.
“I may need some flat shoes for later,” I suggested.
A loud scoff had Sophie snarling. I gripped her hand to still her reply, but Ester wasn’t finished.
“You deserve nothing. The fact you’re still to marry him is a miracle. You don’t deserve him.”
“Get out.” My voice was quiet but clear.
Ester laughed.
“You think I’m joking?” I channelled my most sinister inner self.
“Oh, you’re not joking.” Her smile was saccharine. “But you have no say.”
She flicked her hair at me like she would have in school.
“I have no say?” I repeated. “You’re right.”
She drew herself taller, sipping champagne.
“But I will have something else,” I continued, careful to enunciate where I was convinced I was slurring. “Access.”
Ester frowned.
“That power you covet, the one Teddy holds, gives me exposure, Ester. A small comment here, a little suggestion there, well, we know how people love a salacious rumour?”
Ester paled, her bravado falling away and I caught Sophie’s smirk before she hid it.
“You wouldn’t,” Ester snarled.
“You think you could even comprehend what I’m capable of right now?” I raised my voice. Ester recoiled and Mother actually clutched her pearls. “Get out!”
Ester launched her glass, the shatter of the crystal against the far wall startling Sophie but not me.
“You’ll regret this, Isabelle.” Ester stormed from the room, doors slamming open in her wake.
Mother simply stared, she didn’t try to hide her disgust with me, and I made no effort to hide mine. When her scowl had no impact she strode after Ester, her calls echoing into the entrance hall.
I was so tired.
Silence stretched into the room as Sophie slipped her champagne into my hand. I looked at it frowning. Drink and drugs.
She raised a brow at me and I sipped.
“We just get you down that aisle and back safely. I’ll grab some trainers.” She grabbed a bag; a heavy stone settled in the pit of my stomach when I saw my duffel in her hands.
She pulled the half-torn book I’d recovered from inside.
Then the tears fell in rivers. I dabbed at them furiously. I couldn’t ruin the makeup, and the foundation-streaked splashes on ivory silk would be irreparable.
“Oh, God. Nope! No, Iz.” Sophie rushed to dab at my face. “We need lots of tissues.” She left me to stem the stream and snatched a fistful of tissue, forcing it inside her purse.
I wobbled and straightened.
“Iz, what are you on?” she asked cautiously.
“Benzos, I can’t remember what type, but he’s threatened me with more, Sophie. I can’t fail to get through today, please, help me.”
“I’ll fucking kill him,” she whispered, earning her my first smile on my wedding day.
“Can I watch?”
Sophie smiled back, her shoulders rose and she straightened before guiding me down the stairs and into the waiting limousine.