Chapter 14
LIAM
In the kitchen, I closed my eyes and took a few breaths, willing my stupid head to stop spinning.
This wasn’t “off to the quiet room for concussion protocol” spinning. Far from it.
I just needed to pull my head together. Seriously. This was ridiculous. Garrett was here for a drink and to hang out and watch hockey. Not for any of the stupid fantasies swirling in my stupid head.
And even if he was here for any of that… Well, I’d just had to invite him over on a night when physical activity was off the table, hadn’t I?
Fuck me. He had no right to look that good in a gray sweatshirt and jeans. Especially not with his salt-and-pepper hair neatly arranged like that.
I’d been attracted to guys before. I didn’t think I’d ever been drawn to someone quite like this, though. I couldn’t remember ever meeting someone so… magnetic.
But it didn’t matter if I was the picture of health or I was in a body cast—there wouldn’t be any physical activity tonight because that wasn’t who we were.
That wasn’t what this was. He’d come over to chill, have a drink, watch hockey—all things that didn’t include hooking up with a dented hockey player who was lucky he hadn’t said anything stupid.
Behind me, a floorboard creaked, and a second later—
“Liam?”
I whipped around, nearly dropping the glasses in my hands.
From the doorway, Garrett watched me curiously. “Uh. Hey. Everything all right?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine.” I laughed, sounding almost as nervous as I suddenly was. I shifted my weight, which sent a bolt of pain through my hip. I tried not to let it show, but apparently I wasn’t as subtle as I’d hoped.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Just a little—” The word “stiff” almost tumbled out, but I caught myself and managed, “Sore.”
His brow pinched. “You’re okay, though?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“Physically.” He inclined his head. “But you took off in here, and…”
Swallowing, I avoided his gaze. Either I sucked at being subtle, or he was seriously observant.
Whatever the case, he’d clocked that I hadn’t just come in here for an iced tea refill, and really, why was I being cagey?
I needed to put it out there and let the chips fall however they fell before I lost my stupid mind.
I put the glasses down on the counter, took a deep breath, and faced him. “Look, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. Or, uh, I guess be transparent. Full disclosure.” I waved a hand. “Something.”
Alarm widened his eyes. “Okay. What about?”
“Uh, well…” I shifted my weight, ignoring the protests from various sore body parts. “You, um… You know I’m gay, right?” My heart went absolutely wild. There was no escaping what I was implying.
Garrett tilted his head. “Yeah? I do? That’s, um… That’s public knowledge, isn’t it?” His eyes asked, And?
“It is, yeah.” I laughed nervously. “I haven’t exactly been subtle about it.
” Sobering, I fought the urge to fidget even more.
I was twitchy and struggled to stay still under the best of circumstances.
When I was in the process of making an ass of myself in front of a man I wanted this bad?
A man who was probably straight? Yeah, “twitchy” wasn’t even the half of it.
“I just, uh… I guess, inviting you over tonight, I…”
Fuck. I ran out of words. The heat in my face could’ve melted an ice rink.
I laughed again and shifted my weight, not that it helped much. “God, I’m really playing this cool, aren’t I?”
Garrett studied me for a painfully long moment. I couldn’t have read his expression to save my life, and I was too nervous and embarrassed to hold his gaze anyway.
I wasn’t ready when he whispered, “I do know you’re gay. And to put it bluntly, that’s half of why I accepted your invite.”
My heart slammed against my ribs. “Part of it?” I gulped. “What’s the, uh… What’s the other half?”
Garrett held my gaze. Then he stepped closer, his expression a mixture of boldness and bone-deep fear. Or maybe that was just me projecting.
When his hand landed on my waist, I forgot how to breathe.
“The other half,” he said quietly, “is that I’m bisexual.”
Oh. Hell.
“You… You are?”
“Mmhmm.” He glanced down at his hand on my side, and when he met my gaze again, fear was starting to win. His hand lightened. “I… uh… Maybe I’m reading this wrong, or I’m—”
“The only way you’d be reading this wrong is if you thought I didn’t want you to kiss me.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Do you?” He sounded as breathless as I felt.
Ignoring my pounding heart, I snaked my arm around his waist. “I’ve wanted you to kiss me since the first time I met you.”
His whisper came out almost soundless: “Ooh, fuck…”
I swept my tongue across my lips and drew him just a little bit closer. Lifting my chin, I fought to keep my nerves out of my voice: “So, the question is—am I reading this wrong?”
“No, you are not,” he breathed, and then his hand was behind my neck and his mouth was on mine, and…
Holy shit.
I hadn’t been kissed in a long time, but I had been kissed before. I was just… pretty damn sure no one had ever stolen my breath like this. His lips were absolutely perfect against mine—soft, but insistent. The hand sliding up into my hair… the heat of his body against mine… oh my God.
I wrapped my arms around him and deepened the kiss, and oh, God, that little whimper almost ended me. My body was still bitching and complaining about all the abuse I’d put it through, but they took a backseat to everything Garrett’s kiss did to me.
This was real. Garrett’s perfect lips. His stubbled chin. His hands on my back over my shirt. I’d had fantasies that weren’t this sexy.
Then he slid a hand down over my ass and pulled me flush against him, letting me feel every inch of his hard-on through our clothes. The friction against my own erection made my head spin even faster than it had earlier; holy hell, I wanted this man. Like now.
I drew back and met his eyes. He looked about as dazed as I felt… and about as aroused, too.
He licked his lips. “I’m, uh… I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess we’re on the same page.”
Laughing, I nodded. “Yeah. I think so,” I panted. “I swear I really was just inviting you over for a drink, but…”
He grinned. “I really was just coming over for a drink. I won’t complain about this, though.”
“Neither will I.” I ran my hands up his back. “Might be a good time to, uh…” I licked my lips. “Do you have a preference? Top or bottom? Or… are you even into that at all?”
Garrett’s eyes gleamed with renewed hunger. “I’m into it. And it’s been too long since I’ve bottomed.”
Oh, fuck.
I had to catch my breath. “Does that mean you haven’t wanted to? Or that you want to now?”
“I haven’t been with a top in a while.” He moved in for another kiss, and just before our lips met, he growled, “Assuming I’m with someone now who likes to top, I definitely want to.”
Jesus. My knees turned to liquid and my spine wasn’t much better.
“Ooh, yeah,” I said. “I definitely like to top.”
His low groan was the hottest thing ever.
Then he nudged me up against the counter, and pain shot down my leg.
I broke the kiss with a sharp gasp. “Shit!”
“What? What?” Garrett stepped back like I’d shoved him, hands upraised and eyes huge. “You okay?”
The pain was starting to recede, but I barely noticed over the resurgence of embarrassment. Rubbing my hip gingerly, I muttered, “Old injury.”
His eyes flicked to my hip, then back to mine. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, no.” I stepped closer, reaching for him with my other hand. “You’re fine. I was, uh… Well, there’s a reason I’ve been laying around with a bunch of icepacks.”
Renewed alarm straightened his spine.
“It’s all right.” I shook my head as the heat in my face ebbed a little. “Occupational hazard.”
That seemed to relax him a bit, and he wrapped his arms around me again. “Right. I guess hockey is a bit tough on the body, isn’t it?”
Laughing, I nodded. “A bit, yeah. I’m good, just sore.”
“Okay. Okay, good.” But he didn’t pull me back in. Instead, an unspoken thought darkened his expression and loosened his embrace.
I wanted to slide my hands up his chest, but I hesitated. It was my turn to ask, “You okay?”
“Yeah. I, uh…” He swallowed hard, shoulders sinking a little. “Just… remembered you’re a hockey player.”
“Right? Is that okay?”
“It is.” He watched himself running his hand down my arm, his expression tough to read. “But you’re a hockey player… and so is my son.”
“So is—oh.”
“I don’t want to make things weird between you and him on the team.” Regret and resignation filled his voice. “I mean… if we…”
Nodding, I slouched against the counter and put some space between us. “Yeah. And I don’t want to cause problems between you two, either.”
Garrett exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve already done enough in that department. Probably shouldn’t add to it.”
I was curious about that. Both he and Chris had alluded to a recent estrangement. But now wasn’t the time, and anyway, whatever the issue was between them, I couldn’t imagine it would be helped by me hooking up with Chris’s dad.
“I want this,” he said softly. “I do. I…” He pushed out another breath as he raked his eyes up and down my body. When he met my gaze again, he whispered, “We can be adults about this, can’t we?”
I genuinely didn’t know if he meant we could be adults and walk away, or if we—including Chris—could be adults about Garrett and me pursuing whatever was trying valiantly to happen between us.
But being an adult in this context could also include not letting our baser instincts lead us recklessly into something we’d regret. That didn’t necessarily mean we had to walk away from this, but maybe it meant we shouldn’t rush into it.
“Part of me wants to take you upstairs and dive in head first,” I admitted on a ragged breath. “And part of me wants to pump the brakes because I don’t want to mess anything up. With Chris, and also with…” I gestured at myself, then him. Then I furrowed my brow. “Does that even make sense?”