9. Daylin
NINE
daylin
SOMETIME LATER . . .
Rakim entered the bedroom abruptly, holding the old flip phone out to me. This was routine by now, so I knew my father was on the other line.
“Hello?” I spoke into the phone once it was in my free hand.
“Hi, baby. How are you?” I listened to my father let out a sigh of relief.
“I’m fine, Dad.” I massaged my eyes then asked, “I know you don’t like him, but have you spoken to Shaun?”
When I caught eyes with Rakim, I could see the irritation in his face, making me wonder why every time my man’s name came from my mouth, he seemed to be bothered.
“Uh, we spoke briefly, and he’s got an understanding like all of us,” my father replied.
“Spoke briefly? Like he came by? Was he alright or . . .”
“Yes, he was. He just wanted to know everything that was going on, and I kept it simple telling him you were fine and that I had a handle on it. He seemed to accept that, but I don’t know the boy like that.”
“Oh.” I was surprised to hear that Shaun just went along with shit. No, I didn’t want him trying anything, because I was sure Rakim would murder him, but damn. “Alright.”
“Yes. We are all waiting for you, but it is good to know you are unharmed, baby.”
“I am,” I whispered, still too caught up in my thoughts about Shaun.
“Aight. I’ll hit you in a few days, nigga.” Rakim took the phone, then ended the call by closing the phone before my father could even attempt to protest.
There was silence, me swimming through my thoughts while Rakim broke down the phone, per usual.
Not wanting to think about Shaun and his reaction to me just disappearing, I said, “I enjoyed that new book you gave me. We kind of have our own book club in a sense.”
He smirked, shockingly, keeping his eyes on the task at hand. “You always read for fun, or that’s some shit you picked up while being here?”
“I always read but not as much as I do now since there isn’t anything else to do. I miss being able to lay out and read, though, so that part is nice. Do you read often?”
“I used to.” He dropped the pieces of phone into the black trash can. “Not so much anymore. I rarely have time for any type of leisure shit.” He sat on the edge of the desk, long legs still reaching the floor as he started piecing together a whole new phone. He was good with his hands.
“How did you find this last book? It was really good and right up my alley.”
“Looked up some black romance books and ordered them muthafuckas.” He chuckled cutely, making me do the same just from looking at him.
His smile was nice, but his grin, the one showing his teeth, was beautiful like the rest of him. Even the deep, jagged scar under his eye went perfectly with every other feature of his.
I couldn’t help the flattering feeling within me, hearing he’d researched something for me to read.
The gesture was small and simple but thoughtful.
As mean and abrasive as he was, Rakim was a thoughtful man.
Everything he did was for someone else, I was noticing, making me wonder if he did anything for himself.
“Rakim, how is all of this supposed to end? I know my father was tasked to save your cousin but from being around doctors all of my life, I know it can go either way, no matter how good the doctor is. My dad can do everything in his willpower and it could not be enough.”
“You want the real answer or something like what you be reading in them books?”
“Real, please.” I adjusted myself on the bed to get comfortable.
“If my cousin dies, Daylin, so will you.” He set the now built phone off to the side and stared into my eyes.
I couldn’t help the aghast expression I knew I was wearing. I didn’t know why I thought Rakim would soften toward me and change his mind on the outcome of this situation, but I should’ve known better.
“I’m an innocent person, Rakim. I’m a good person, too, for the most part, and for me to die because of something that happens naturally every day isn’t right.” I defended myself.
He stood from the desk and started toward me, grabbing a chair on the way to sit before me. Inhaling deeply, his cologne danced up my nose, and though usually pleasant, the smell was eerie right now as I realized I was conversing and staring into the eyes of my possible killer.
“Talid was minding his business before cancer just decided to invade his body, just like you were.” He shook his head in frustration, then said, “Yo’ pops is one of those muthafuckas who feels like everyone else’s life is meaningless and expendable.
And shit like death or suffering doesn’t matter so long as it’s not anyone he gives a fuck about.
The muthafucka went on vacation, Daylin.
Vacation, knowing my cousin was dying.” His thick brows furrowed before he asked, “You know how fucking sick in the head you gotta be to do some shit like that?”
I could visibly see the disappointment and hurt in Rakim’s eyes, and I hated that I felt for him.
Additionally, it sickened me that my father was one of those people.
I shouldn’t have been surprised, though, because on occasion, my dad would speak on people’s diagnosis or gruesome hospital deaths the same cavalier way that he told my mother what he wanted in his coffee.
“I’m sorry.” I finally found some words to say.
Sighing and calming down some, he replied, “I want yo’ pops to understand what it feels like having the life of someone you love be in the hands of another fucking person.
And how everything they do can change whether the person you love lives or dies.
Maybe that’ll make the nigga take his job more fucking seriously. ”
I nodded because I couldn’t even argue with that. My father had saved lives, but he’d also been terrible, and this was one of those occasions. What he’d done to Talid was disgusting, and I honestly couldn’t blame Rakim for his anger. I just wished I wasn’t wrapped up in it.
“Well, whether my life was on the line or not, Rakim, I hope my father saves Talid. I honestly pray for that. Despite what you know of him, my dad is a celebrated surgeon and is very good at what he does, so if anyone can save Talid, it would be him.”
“I appreciate the prayer,” he said lowly, almost to the point of being inaudible as his eyes drifted downward. “And I know yo’ pops is good. We paid for Talid to have access to the best network of doctors.”
Changing the subject because I could see he was struggling with the topic at hand, I said, “You know before you told me where you got the books, I assumed you got them from a girlfriend. Thought you lied about not having one.”
“Nah. I don’t do girlfriends, love, or romantic relationships of any kind.”
“Then how do you get your needs met? I’m sure you aren’t celibate.”
“Why? You gon’ handle ’em? If not, you shouldn’t be asking, Daylin.” He licked his lips, and damn, it was like porn.
His words turned me on but caused me to seize up a bit too. I didn’t want to put ideas in his head that it was okay to have access to my body while I was in captivity.
“No—”
“Relax, aight? Taking pussy that’s not freely offered to me ain’t my style.”
Calming down as he’d asked, I questioned, “Why are you against relationships? You must’ve been hurt before.”
I hoped he didn’t clam up like the last time I tried to probe and get into his business. He was so mysterious, and that made it hard not to want to get in his damn business.
“Something like that.” He shrugged his muscular shoulders that were very visible in the wife beater clinging to his upper body.
“But also because most of the shit we see is fake. When I give a fuck about someone, I go hard for ’em, lay my life down for ’em if necessary.
Most people don’t appreciate that shit or take it for granted.
I care too much when I care and therefore prefer not to give a fuck at all. ”
I was trying to piece things together, so I could assume that the woman he’d gone to prison for had maybe turned on him or broken up with him.
Sadly, I couldn’t even blame him for feeling the way he did if that were the case.
If I went to prison for someone and they cheated, betrayed me, lied, or shit, even stepped on my foot by accident, I would be pissed.
“Maybe you just haven’t met the right person.”
“Have you?” His brows lifted.
“I have. I love Shaun, and he loves me.” Part of this was true, but Shaun being the one wasn’t, especially after talking to my dad today.
When Rakim chuckled, I immediately got on the defense.
“That’s why he laid up playing video games and snacking all while not even knowing where the fuck you disappeared to.” Rakim kept chuckling as if something was funny.
This was the first time I wasn’t admiring his beautiful smile.
“What exactly is he supposed to do?” I defended. “Set out to rescue me and end up dead? He’s not a thug like that!”
Shaun sold drugs here and there, but he was no killer and especially not the 007 rescue mission kind. I shook my head at myself for internally exonerating Shaun from the punk ass boyfriend charges.
“You right.” Rakim’s laughter ceased, but he was still smiling, with his fine, annoying ass. “He can’t move how some other niggas can. But a nigga who love you would be sick, out of his fucking mind right now. Thug or not, I couldn’t sit up and wait for a nigga to hand me my girl back.”
“How do you know he’s not sick and coming up with something this minute!” I yelled, full on pissed, and my anger only made Rakim smile wider.
“I know what he doing, and it ain’t that.
” He watched me for a bit, grin gone, then continued.
“That’s exactly why I don’t fuck with relationships.
You be all in, thinking a muthafucka feel the way you feel, whole time you the only one that’s ’bout it.
” He watched me as I pondered on his words, then sighed.
“I ain’t mean to make you feel bad, lil mama. I’m just keeping it real.”
When I didn’t say anything, he surveyed me momentarily, then stood up to leave.