24. Josias #3
“Take these first.” I handed them over, stealing a kiss on her cheek that got me a warning glance before she set the roses on the counter. “Sit down.” I plopped down onto her couch.
Kasia opened her mouth to speak, most likely to say something callous or smart, but instead, she came and sat down, leaving a seat in between us.
She looked good as fuck in the little ass shorts and sleeveless top, exposing every part of her chocolate skin somewhat. Her hair was freshly done, and I could only tell because it always smelled like burnt hair whenever the shit was new. I enjoyed it though.
“Go ahead, Josias.”
“Damn. Do you have somewhere to be?” I inquired, unable to keep my cool with her ass rushing a nigga.
“None of your business. But you bringing me flowers and trying to seemingly kick it isn’t gonna happen. So say what you have to say.” She eyed me, full lips enticing me like fuck.
Clearing my throat to stay on track, I said, “First off, I want to apologize for all the shit I put you through. Just listen,” I added when she rolled her eyes and created even more space between us.
“I’m being dead ass. I was wrong as fuck and took advantage of your naivety and how much you loved me and that was fucked up.
But I wanna change, Kasia, and not just for you and Divine but for myself.
“Losing my brother put a lot of shit into perspective, and then losing you right after only made shit even clearer. I took you and him both for granted, and while I can’t do anything to bring him back, I’m hoping I can do something, no matter what it is, to resurrect what we built if anything at all.
This ain’t the same old shit. I don’t wanna end up like my father with my kids being distant from me and their mother despising me.
I love you, whether you believe it or not, and I hate that it took so much for me to want better for myself and us, but I do.
I’m gon’ do right this time, only if you’ll allow the shit.
” I touched her soft ass thigh, and she peered down at it, staying silent as if she were thinking.
I waited with bated fucking breath, praying she agreed just this last time.
I knew before I was spitting game, but this time was different.
Couldn’t even blame her ass if she didn’t believe me, because I was akin to the boy who cried wolf at this point—she couldn’t tell what was the truth or a lie when I spoke.
“I’m happy to hear that, Jojo.” She smiled, making me sigh out of relief that we’d be rekindling shit. “But I’ve moved on from us.”
My grin fell instantly as Kasia stared into my eyes, partially sympathetic.
“Is it ’cause of that Darron nigga? You love him more than you love me?”
“No, that wouldn’t even be possible. I don’t love him at all yet, but I do like him.
Nevertheless, my decision has nothing to do with Darron.
Even if I weren’t entertaining anyone, my answer would be the same, Jojo.
Same time, if I had to choose between you two, he would win.
He’s a good man from what I can see, and you’ve hurt me too much for me to ever want this again.
Not to mention, I don’t trust you at all.
The only thing I trust you with is our daughter, and that is not enough to sustain a romantic relationship. ”
“Kasia.” I took her hands, kissing them. “Baby, let me show you. What’s the fucking harm when you single? Let me prove myself and that I’ve changed. I’ve ended shit with Tarin and plan for it to stay that fucking way.”
“No, Josias.” She took her hands from mine.
Shaking her head, she added, “I don’t want to return to those days of me waiting for you to be better or hoping this time is different.
I wish we could’ve made it work, because I love you, and we have a child together, but God had other plans.
I’m happy you wanna change because you need to regardless of if you’re single or not, but unfortunately, I won’t be the woman to experience that change. ”
I noticed her eyes were misty as she spoke, and I was mirroring that shit, making me use my T-shirt to dry my eyes.
“Aight.” I shot up from the couch, irate.
“Josias, don’t let this be a reason to continue down the path you have been. I still wanna see you do better, because you are my daughter’s father. She needs to see a great example of how a man treats women and carries himself generally.”
“I got you,” I mumbled, halfway out of the door and fighting against the urge to go see Tarin or hit the strip club.
“Jojo!” Kasia called after me, but I ignored her, slamming the door.
I just kept losing muthafuckas, from my mother to Zaire and now Kasia.
I was starting to understand my brother and wondered if he had in fact taken his own life or if the overdose was an accident.
We had a bond, though, and I couldn’t reveal his inner thoughts to Rakim and especially not Mylo, so I would keep his depression and dark contemplations to myself.
“I get it, twin. I get it if you ain’t wanna be here no more, bruh.”