Chapter 13 Lumi
Lumi
Ambrose’s arms wrap around me, and for once, I don’t protest. I don’t tell him to let me go. I don’t tell him I’m fine on my own. I don’t shut him out.
I lean into his strong arms, letting them envelope me alongside his magic. I can feel it buzzing beneath his skin, wrapping around us like a warm blanket. I need that too—the protection, the comfort that is so different from what Nyx gives me.
For a moment, I let myself think about the differences between the two men. So similar and yet so different. Both protective. Both love me fiercely. Both would go to the end of the world for me. But both of them would go about it so differently.
It can’t be true. My dream was just a nightmare.
It didn’t really happen. It was a product of my imagination running away from me.
I know Nyx is trying to push me away in the same way that Ambrose is trying to get me to fall in love with him.
He saw a chance, and he took it. I’m sure he spent a lovely evening with Amora.
Spent the evening catching up with his childhood crush.
But that’s all that happened. Even though he’ll try to make me feel like his once-in-a-lifetime love, the one who got away has returned to him. I don’t believe it.
“We don’t have to get up, not yet. Everyone is safe. The witches haven’t shown up. No enemy vampires are here. My curse hasn’t tried to end your life. You’re safe here,” Ambrose whispers in my mind.
My chest rises and falls hard as his arm drapes over my bare stomach, as my shirt has risen up my abdomen. I’m not safe here. Not when I know what Ambrose is thinking. Not when I know how badly he wants things to go further between us again.
I sit up abruptly. Finding one of Nyx’s sweatshirts, I pull it over me, effectively shutting Ambrose out again. And then I pad downstairs with Ambrose trailing after me wordlessly.
Riven has coffee that he thrusts into my hands, but the dining room feels too suffocating. I head outside, onto the back deck, needing the sunshine on my face.
One by one, the others join me.
Ambrose first.
Riven.
Brax.
Emeric.
Sylara.
Kael.
Talonis.
Everyone is here, except for him. Worry circles my mind, unsure of where he’d be with the sunlight so high.
But then I remember, he’s not just a vampire, he’s a wolf shifter.
And if the sun gets to be too much, he can shift.
That is, if the wolf shifter curse hasn’t taken that away from him as well.
I haven’t asked the others if they’ve tried shifting. If they’re still able to or if it’s gotten harder. If they’re afraid of being stuck in their wolf forms.
I don’t ask, not because I don’t care, but because it’s just one more problem I can’t solve. There is too much. Too many curses riding on my shoulders. All I know is I have to save Nyx. Nothing will change that.
Movement catches my eye along the shadows of the treeline.
I hold my breath, unsure of what I’m going to find, but then I see him.
Nyx standing utterly still, as if carved from something more precious than flesh.
His strong presence is impossible to ignore; it forces everyone to study the artwork that is his body.
His beauty is intimidating, the way each muscle wraps around his body in sharp, striking cords.
Beautiful.
My love.
My heart.
He stares right at him. Not afraid to look at me.
I exhale a steady breath, knowing that nothing has changed. What I saw last night was my imagination. There is no way he did what I imagined last night and then can still face me in the morning. Not with the way he’s looking at me.
The corner of my mouth lifts slightly. A light breeze hits my face, blowing from where Nyx is standing, and with it, everything changes.
The aroma of sex floods my nostrils. Heat, lust, desire.
It burns hot even now. But it’s not from how he’s looking at me that is making him smell that way.
Because mixed with that smell is something that smells like a blood red rose.
A mix of sweet and tangy, mixed with his own icy scent.
The smell that only happens after spending all night with a person.
Naked. Exchanging every bodily fluid imaginable—blood, sweat, arousal, cum. It’s all there.
My body stills.
And I hear the sharp inhales, the gasps, the shocked expressions of everyone around me. I feel their eyes shifting from Nyx to me as if unsure what I’m going to do.
“I don’t understand. Nyx loves Lumi. Did he just have a one-night stand to force her to stop loving him?” Emeric says out loud.
“Amora—she’s not a one-night stand. She’s his first love. The one who got away,” Sylara says solemnly.
“I’m going to kill him,” Kael says.
He moves, and for a moment, no one stops him.
“Don’t,” I say suddenly, my eyes not leaving Nyx.
Nyx hasn’t said a word. He has spoken to confirm or deny the allegations everyone is thinking about.
He hasn’t defended himself. Hasn’t said why.
He didn’t bring Amora here. But he also hasn’t stopped looking at me.
He hasn’t stopped studying my every reaction, while his face is devoid of any clue as to what he’s thinking or feeling.
I’m desperate for a clue. Fuck me for severing our bond.
I push into Ambrose’s mind, hoping to find Nyx there. But once inside, Nyx is gone. He’s blocking Ambrose.
I growl. Now he decides to block his thoughts from Ambrose. He couldn’t spare me the pain last night of having to see every fucking detail.
But I don’t say that out loud. If I did, I know I’d have everyone here on my side.
Every single one of them would rip out Nyx’s throat for what he did to me.
Doesn’t matter if they have been friends their entire life.
Doesn’t matter if they are his beta. His pack member.
His best friend. I know what they’d do to him for me.
It’s not what I want, though.
It’s true.
He fucked her.
Made love to her.
And for once, I don’t think it was a suicidal mission. He didn’t do it because he knew we’d all kill him for hurting me. He did it because he deserves to feel love, to be happy, to get his own kind of happiness.
I can’t fault him for that.
It’s just…
I love him.
I still love him.
I’ll always love him.
Maybe that’s what he feels for Amora.
But what he did was like he reached into my chest and yanked out my heart, before stabbing it repeatedly every time he kissed her, told her he loved her, drove his cock inside her.
All of it replays before my very eyes.
But it doesn’t take my love away. I still love him. Still want him. I’m still desperate to save him above everything else.
How fucked up is that?
My love for Ambrose disappeared the second he tried to control any part of me, and despite what Nyx just did, my love for him hasn’t faltered, not even one tiny bit.
I can’t stay here. I can’t stand here watching him. I can’t…
The tears are forming. They’ll fall soon. I can’t let him see. I can’t let any of them see.
I hold my breath. Refusing to take in any more of the smell. Picking up my empty coffee cup solemnly and without another word, another clue on my face as to how I’m feeling, I turn and walk inside.
Only once I’m inside do I let the feeling overwhelm me. I want to die.