Chapter 19 Lumi
Lumi
Iwalk away with heavy breaths, trying to vanquish all thoughts of Nyx from my mind.
Fucking asshole. What was he thinking? He could have killed Kael, could have killed me.
And why the hell was he looking at me like that when he has Amora?
He doesn’t want me. Probably never truly wanted me. He has the real love of his life back.
Whatever that was, it couldn’t have meant anything. And yet, there is no denying the heat I saw in his eyes.
He just likes toying with me, like I’m his prey. He always has. It doesn’t mean anything. He’s just a cold-blooded, callous killer.
“Lumi!” I hear Ambrose yell, his voice filled with worry and relief.
I walk toward him. He keeps his eyes planted firmly on my face. He doesn’t let them dip down to enjoy my body. He doesn’t stare at me like he wants to devour me. Doesn’t set my body aflame with one look. When he looks at me, he just sees me.
I suck in a breath. “I’m okay.”
“You really did it. You broke the hold I had on your wolf. You rejoined the Wintermoon pack. And you’re an alpha, my queen.” Ambrose bows slightly, his eyes giving me a knowing look like he’s known the entire time that this was my destiny.
Kael jogs over, and I turn my attention to him. He smirks at Ambrose on his knees in front of me. “You’re a badass.”
I smile at my best friend, looking him over to make sure that he’s not hurt.
“I’m fine, thanks to you, my alpha.” He bows dramatically.
I cringe when he says it. I never wanted to be alpha. Never thought I’d even be worthy or strong enough to be one, and yet, here I am.
“Stop it. And I’m only alpha because you’re the only other pack member, and you don’t want to be alpha.”
Kael shakes his head. “No, you’re alpha because you were always destined to be. I would have thought after fending off Nyx, you would have realized that you are worthy.”
“Beta?” I ask.
He straightens and smirks. “Of course, but I know I only got the job because I’m your only pack member.”
I roll my eyes and turn back to Ambrose, who is still kneeling in front of me. “Thank you,” I sway weakly.
He looks up, and I take his hand, prodding him to stand.
“Thank you for helping me to get my wolf back.”
He shakes his head. “You did that on your own.”
We both stare at each other, and for a moment, I get the tingling back in my body that I got when I first met him. The feeling of excitement and hope. Maybe I was right about him from the beginning. Before he ruined everything. Before I fell for Nyx…
I swallow hard.
“I’m still not sure this is real. Any of it.”
“It’s real. But you need to practice. Especially with the curse getting worse. You should practice shifting back and forth until it becomes second nature to you.”
In a blink, my brilliant white wolf looms over them. The smile Ambrose gives me is like nothing I’ve ever seen from him before. It’s bright, brilliant, and gorgeous. It lights up the entire sky.
In a flash, I’m human again. My muscles ache slightly. My head spins from the change. And I realize how right Ambrose is. I need to practice. I need it to be easier. I need the dizziness to go away. Because I can’t depend on Ambrose or Nyx’s help to force me to shift anymore.
So I shift again. And again. And again. I shift until I can barely stay on my feet. Until I’m so exhausted that it feels like I just ran a marathon.
“I’ve got you,” Ambrose says, draping my arm around his shoulders.
My heartbeat picks up dramatically when he does that, and I know he can hear the change of pace. He doesn’t comment on it, though. Just leads me back to the house, with Kael following wordlessly behind. He leads me all the way to my bedroom.
“Can I start a bath for you?” Ambrose asks me.
I nod.
He lets go of me to head to the bathroom, leaving me in the entrance of my bedroom with Kael.
“I’m okay, you can go rest,” I say to Kael.
He shakes his head, looking over my shoulder to where Ambrose disappeared.
“His curse isn’t gone. I know a lot of good things have happened lately, but that doesn’t mean that the danger has passed or that things are going to work out.
You still need to be incredibly careful.
And as your beta, it’s my job to protect you, alpha. ”
I roll my eyes. “Stop calling me that. I’m just your best friend. Nothing more.”
“You’re my alpha. You can command me to jump off a cliff, and I would.”
“You would have done that before because you’re my best friend.”
“Well, now you can boss me around like you’ve always wanted to since we were little kids.”
I sigh. “Go. I’m fine.”
He frowns. “Is that an order?”
“No.”
“Good, then I’ll be right outside the door.”
I’m about to protest when Ambrose steps out of the bathroom, “Your bath is ready.”
I’m still naked. But the way he’s looking at me now that we are alone in my bedroom is different. Subtle, but unmistakable. There’s a flicker of heat in his eyes, like the hold he’s had on his feelings has slipped.
I nod, a ball of nerves caught in my throat as I walk into the adjoining bathroom. My fingers brush against his, and a gentle warmth spreads through my body.
I take a deep breath as I look at the bath he’s drawn for me and gasp.
The room has descended into darkness. With shimmering stars lighting the ceiling, a crescent-shaped moon lights up the bathtub. The water looks crystal blue, like the color of my eyes, with snowflakes floating like rose petals on the surface.
I’m in awe. I wrap my arms around my body instinctively, covering myself. I spot the snowflake still on the back of my hand. The only ruin or marking that remains after I left the Moonlight pack.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” he says.
I take a deep breath, unsure of what to do, but I let the words tumble out. Today has been about taking a leap of faith. Of breaking curses, maybe there is hope for us… “Please stay.”
He jolts, like I electrocuted him, and then freezes, staring at me like he’s been waiting for me to say those words all his life.
He swallows, his jaw working hard, and nods.
I start walking toward the tub, and he holds out his hand to me. I take it gently as he helps me into the bathtub.
It feels like heaven on my sore muscles as I sink below the water. My eyes fall closed as I let myself completely relax, focusing on nothing but the warmth surrounding me.
Midnight black eyes greet me, along with that predatory grin of his that mocks me even with my eyes closed. Almost as if he’s saying, you’ll never get rid of me. Never stop loving me, no matter what I do to you, love.
Nyx.
I quickly open my eyes, ripping the images from my vision.
If Ambrose notices, he doesn’t say anything. “Can I wash your hair for you?”
I swallow my nerves and nod.
I expect him to pull a bottle from somewhere. But instead, his hands go immediately to my scalp, and I smell the sweet, flowery scent of the shampoo that has somehow found its way to my hair.
Magic.
I’m not sure how it works. How can he produce things like shampoo, darkness, and fake stars out of thin air?
But now that I’ve seen him work with magic many times, it feels like it’s a part of him as much or more than his wolf shifter part of himself.
Unlike Nyx, who hates his vampire self, Ambrose thrives as a witch.
Like he was always meant to have magic flowing through his veins.
“Relax, Lumi.” His words are gentle and without judgment. As if he knows exactly where my thoughts have wandered, but he doesn’t care.
I take a deep breath and try to relax into his hands as he lathers my scalp. I try to melt into the warmth of the bath, letting the soreness melt away. I try to be present. To let this moment flood my brain and feel how sweet and romantic it is.
But I can’t help myself. I find myself in his mind, gently prodding, looking, searching…
Why do I care if Nyx is coaching Ambrose? Why do I care if the bastard is talking to him or what he’s doing at all?
“It’s just me,” Ambrose says in my mind.
I freeze.
“It’s okay. I know who you’re looking for and why. But I promise, this time, it’s just me. No gimmicks from him. No advice. It wasn’t helpful anyway.”
I don’t know how to respond, so I don’t say anything.
“My feelings haven’t changed. They’ll never change.
If anything, after watching you, my feelings have intensified.
Seeing you fight him. Defend yourself and your pack.
It was incredibly hard not to step in and help you.
But also sexy as hell watching how incredibly you were able to defend yourself. ”
I blush, still unsure what to say back or even what my feelings are.
I yawn.
“I should get you to bed. It’s been a long day.”
I nod, but hate the thought of getting out of the tub and feeling my aching muscles again.
Ambrose must read my mind because one minute I’m in the tub, the next I’m wrapped in a thick warm blanket in his arms as he’s carrying me toward the bed.
I let my head snuggle into his chest and breathe in his familiar evergreen scent. It’s comforting for the first time in a long time.
He gently tucks me into the covers under the bed, never once uncovering me to take a peek at my naked body. He starts to move toward the chair in the corner, when I grab his arm.
I can’t bring myself to say the words, but my eyes or thoughts must tell him what I want him to do. Because he doesn’t hesitate as he climbs into the bed next to me.
Neither of us touches. We just stare at each other. Intensity spreading between us.
I don’t think. I let myself take the natural next step. I lean forward and let my lips brush against his.
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t close the gap between the kiss. He lets me control it completely.
For a second, I don’t feel anything. Don’t do anything. My mind starts whirling…no, stop thinking…
And then I fall into him, like I can’t control it either. I wish there was an instant spark that confirmed once and for all that he’s my true mate. That I’ll fall desperately in love with him. It’s been him this whole time.