Chapter 33 Lumi
Lumi
Istare at the blade in my hand. I should be thankful for my new weapon—one that gives me a fighting chance. Instead, it feels like a mockery. The blade in my hand might as well be a butter knife when compared to Nyx’s fangs or Ambrose’s magic. It will do nothing to truly defend me.
Why would Isolde risk everything?
A seer must have told her something. Something they never shared with me. She doesn’t think I’m going to die, but appeased Ambrose enough to give me a weapon. It doesn’t make sense.
Still, my grip tightens on the handle like it’s my lifeline. Like if I drop the weapon, it’s the only thing between me and death.
Ambrose continues to shout his concern in my head. Telling me how to survive. Kill Nyx.
The adrenaline pumping through my body blocks him out. All I can focus on for this moment is Nyx. And that fucking kiss.
Gods, how I’ve missed him.
And I hate him.
Hate him for fucking Amora.
Hate him for loving her.
Hate him for not being my mate.
Hate him for complicating matters about who I must break the curse for.
But my hate for him isn’t strong enough. Not when he kisses me. My hate melts faster than a glacier in the summer sun.
“Lumi!” Ambrose shouts out loud, finally breaking through the fog that’s been surrounding my head.
I turn my head.
“Get behind me,” he says.
I don’t know what good that’s going to do when his arms and legs are still bound, but I do as he says.
Nyx still hasn’t moved. It’s like he’s turned into a statue. I don’t even think he’s breathed since Isolde left him unbound and uncured.
“Give me the blade, my queen.”
I look up at Ambrose. “Why?”
“Because when it comes down to protecting your life, you won’t do what is necessary to stay alive. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you.”
“No, I won’t let you kill him.” I grip the knife tighter.
“And I won’t let him kill you.”
“He won’t kill me.” But my voice rises ever so slightly. I can hear the falter in my voice.
“I’m not willing to take any chances.”
“Why, because then you couldn’t break the curses? Because everyone would lose their powers? Maybe it’s best if we all do.”
“No, because I love you. And I’d die without you in my life.”
My breath catches in my throat. I believe him. I truly believe that he loves me that much. It’s all I’ve ever wanted from him.
I grip the blade harder. “No one dies. I won’t let it happen. No one is going to die. This is a test. A game that Isolde has designed. One the seers suggested. We aren’t going to play her game.”
I stare across the cell to the shadows where Nyx still hasn’t spoken. But he’s not there.
Anxiety speeds through my body like an electric current. On instinct, I grip the blade tighter, even though I know I’d never use it to kill him, to save myself, only if he was truly unsaveable. That’s what I promised him. That if anyone had to kill him, it would be me.
But Isolde has a cure now. One that can help him. So all hope isn’t lost yet.
“Nyx?” I whisper into the darkness.
And then I feel him. His hands on my waist behind me. His breath cool against the back of my neck.
A shattered breath eases out of my body.
Ambrose turns, trying to use the chains to injure Nyx, but I’m in his way, precariously placed between the two of them. There is nothing that can be done to Nyx without hurting me.
“Nyx is in control. He’s okay,” I tell Ambrose. I haven’t even looked at Nyx, and I know it’s true. I don’t know how he’s gotten control back so quickly, but he has. His curse hasn’t taken him from me yet.
“He can’t be! Isolde withheld the cure. He’s just pretending so that you’ll believe him.”
“If he were truly out of control, he wouldn’t be standing behind me right now, barely touching me; I’d be dead!”
“I’m in control…for now,” Nyx says.
“I don’t believe you!” Ambrose snarls.
“It’s because the curse isn’t the real reason I’ve lost control, at least, not fully.
It’s a spell. Isolde is trying to bring up the curse to hasten it and then give me something that is like a cure that she can sell to the other vampires, I’m sure.
Something she’s hoping to control the other vampires with. ”
I lift my chin to look at Nyx, still behind me.
His hands rest on my bare hips. His body is still so close, like I’m the one grounding him, and I have my own theories about why he’s able to have such control over his curse or Isolde’s spell in this moment.
But I don’t dare speak them out loud to either man.
Ambrose eyes him suspiciously, but doesn’t push any further. “How do we break out of here?”
“We don’t,” Nyx answers. “It’s impossible.”
I frown. “We’ve been doing the impossible this entire time.”
Nyx shakes his head. “We have to find a way for Isolde to let us out of this cell. The magic is too strong here. Neither of you can even use magic here. Our best chance is once she lets us out.”
“I don’t have any magic,” I remind them.
They ignore me.
“What reason will she have for letting us out?” Ambrose talks to Nyx like I’m not even here.
“The marking ceremony at least.”
My mind spins with anxiety.
Not about surviving or not.
Or escaping.
But of losing what little control I have over what little time I have left on this earth.
“What is it?” Nyx asks suddenly, feeling the shift in me.
I bite my lower lip. “She made me kiss both of you.”
Nyx drops his hands from my hips like he’s just realized what he’s been doing. “I’m sorry. I know you hate me, and kissing me is the last thing you wanted to do in front of your mate.”
“Apology not accepted, asshole. You could have tried harder not to kiss her so hard like I did,” Ambrose says.
“Stop, both of you. It’s not that you guys kissed me.
It’s that she had the control. She forced me to.
And she’s going to do it again. We know she will, but this time, further.
” I wrap my arms around my body, hating that she has that control.
She has control over everything, but still, her actions don’t fully make sense to me.
Why risk everything? Why risk one of us killing each other?
“It’s your curse,” I say to Ambrose.
“What do you mean?” he responds wearily.
“I mean, the reason that Isolde is behaving the way she is. It’s because of your curse. I have to die. So even though my dying is the last thing Isolde would want right now, it doesn’t matter. She’s not thinking clearly because of your curse.”
Ambrose stares at me without blinking as he processes what I just said.
“She’s right, it’s the only logical reason that I’m free, that Lumi has a knife in her hand, and you’re tied up. Your curse demands that Lumi die. And it’s using Isolde to do that through me,” Nyx says with surprising calmness in his voice.
Ambrose rattles the chains holding him, testing their strength again like he’s going to be able to break through this time. The solid strength of them doesn’t bend. They are as secure as ever.
He curses under his breath. “I hate this. Your blade or your magic? Any chance either could be used to break the chains so I can help keep you alive?”
I give him a look that says that his thinking I have magic is ridiculous. It’s not possible. My parents were both wolves. My father and I had a complicated relationship. And my mother was gone before I was old enough to remember her, but he would have told me if she were a witch.
I look at the knife, and then the manacles, and I know it would be a useless endeavor. I can’t help him get free. I’m on my own.
Nyx stares at his broken manacles like he wishes he could get them back on.
I sigh. “You’re not going to kill me. You’ve resisted this entire time. For once, the curse isn’t about you. It’s not acting through you. You’re able to fight it.”
I move toward him, and he puts up a hand, halting me. “You should get some sleep. At least one of us should be rested. Ambrose will ensure that I don’t hurt you or at least give you a warning if I lose control again.”
I look from Nyx to Ambrose to see if he agrees with Nyx’s plan.
He nods solemnly, like he doesn’t have a choice.
I yawn, knowing that exhaustion is going to pull me under quickly. We haven’t been given so much as a pillow or a blanket, but it doesn’t matter. I curl up on the ground beside the wall, turning carefully onto my side so nothing brushes my aching back. I’m about to place my blade next to me—
“Don’t you dare,” both Nyx and Ambrose speak aloud at the same time.
I freeze, unsure of what I did wrong.
“Hold onto that blade all night like your life depends on it, Lumi. Hold it close to your neck. If I lose control, that’s where I’ll go. And if you sense danger at all, thrust out, don’t think, just act. Promise me,” Nyx says.
I frown, but yawn again. Knowing this is the only way they will let me sleep.
I grip the knife tightly, holding it close to my body in front of my neck for protection. It’s not particularly comfortable, but it doesn’t matter. It’s what they both want, so I’ll give it to them.
“I promise,” I whisper as my eyes drift closed.