Chapter 15 Zinnia #2
“Do you just want healing?” We both went silent. I swallowed and asked, “We don’t have to have sex for me to heal you. You don’t need to avoid me, Julian. If you don’t want me—”
He blinked. “Where in the hell would you get that kind of idea?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you haven’t come back for seconds? Not even a midnight quickie,” I snapped back. “What was I supposed to think?”
“That I wasn’t a complete asshole.” He pulled me even closer, his breath ghosting over my lips. “I’ve been going crazy waiting for you to heal.”
Waiting? For me? I tried to make his words make sense. “To heal from—”
He pulled back slightly and gestured at his crotch. “It was your first time.”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing hysterically. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? You thought you broke my vagina? You’re big, but not ‘takes a week to heal’ big.”
He cringed as the laughter won, and shook his head.
“Not that. It drained you,” he said, once I quieted down.
“There was pain. I was afraid.” There was something he wasn’t saying, but I couldn’t figure it out.
I stopped trying when he rasped, “Please, let me touch you again. Let me make love to you. You don’t have to heal me. ”
As if I would pass up the opportunity to do both. “I don’t have to fuck you either, silly man, but I’m going to.”
“Make love,” he corrected, his eyes darkening. “Will you let me apologize… on my knees?”
My knees went weak. He sank to his own at my whispered, “Yes,” his hands pulling my loose-fitting sweatpants down as he went.
Before I could draw a single breath, he had his face buried in my mound, his beard rasping my thighs, his hands reaching around to pull my legs slightly apart. I felt exposed and protected at the same time. Vulnerable, yet like some sort of goddess he was paying homage to.
Something soft shushed along the grass at my feet, but the sound was lost under my cries as his tongue pressed against me, flicking like a snake.
Oh no. Like a—
“Ah! Get it away!” he screamed, pushing back from me.
I landed on my butt in the dirt, my sweatpants tangled around my ankles, laughing helplessly as Urchin slithered on the dirt near Julian’s bare feet. I broke into laughter as he crab-walked backward, until I saw that he was ruining a newly planted row of butterbeans.
“Don’t move, you goose. I’ll put the snake away.” I yanked my waistband up into place, then carried her to the gate, where I slid her through a small crevice, whispering for her to go home.
When I got back to Julian, the embarrassed flush visible above his beard had me giggling again.
I crossed my arms over my chest, enjoying the way his eyes automatically dropped to my breasts as I squeezed them together.
Apparently, even in an old work shirt, he wanted me.
The mood was well and truly broken, though.
“You owe me a story, Alpha Rain. What made you so scared of snakes?”
He shook his head. “Snakes are horrible. Slithery, sneaky things. Crawling into places where they shouldn’t be, lying in wait.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “I’m waiting.”
Finally, he exhaled heavily and lowered himself to sit, patting his legs. I crossed to him and slid down on his lap, loving the groan he gave as I shifted, his erection pressing against my backside, his scent surrounding me.
“I wasn’t afraid of snakes when I was young, but that may have been because I never saw one.
One of the Alpha Mothers had used her magic to keep them out of our compound.
Then I traveled to Northern. There aren’t many reptiles up in Canada, but after the battle, when I went down to Southern…
” He shivered. “There are more venomous snakes inside that pack’s borders—my pack’s borders, now—than should be allowed in a whole country.
” He pursed his lips in disapproval. “One of the new mates, who came from a small pack in Louisiana, said she raised them back home, to eat. She kept going on about how their meat tasted like chicken and how we could raise them to feed the pack. I didn’t try to talk her out of it, which was my mistake.
Bo and Leroy heard her and thought they’d surprise me with a snake farm. ”
“Oh, no…”
He nodded grimly. “Oh, yes. Somehow, they got hold of fifty snakes—I swear to the moon, some of them were fucking anacondas from the swamps! They gave them to me like a gift, wrapped in fucking birthday paper, two years back.”
“What happened?”
“I dropped the damned box in the middle of the Pack House. The snakes got loose and hid in the walls. In the damned walls! Every time I turned around, one was slithering into my bed, my bathtub, the dining hall. It’s like they’re attracted to me.
Like they know. I never knew what fear was until I held those snakes…
” He shivered again. “Even thinking about it makes me feel sick.”
“Aw, poor baby,” I teased, knowing he was telling the truth.
I was sitting directly on his lap, and he’d gone as soft as I’d ever felt him.
“Maybe I can make it better?” I slid my top and my pants off, then helped him get naked and pushed him down into the dirt.
A frown flickered across his brow, but I smiled. “I’m fine, I promise.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry I kept away. I never want to hurt you.”
“Close your eyes,” I whispered, not only because I needed him to focus on me, but also because I’d just spotted another garter snake sliding down one of the rows of snap peas. “Just feel.”
He did, and so did I. I took the next hour to explore every part of him in full sunlight.
I memorized the way his hair curled on his chest, the salt-and-pepper trail that led to his abdomen, and below.
I traced the remaining tattoos on his chest and stomach, wondering at the power and skill—and love—his sister must have put into the markings.
Everything had a price, and the protection she’d given him had taken a heavy one.
We’d all paid it, for years. But now, maybe, we could take a little of the cost back, and spend it on an afternoon of bliss.
The bees buzzed around my head like a living crown of velvet and pollen, and the wind blew the scent of the cherry blossoms around us, perfuming the place where we lay.
I was already slick, and lowered myself slowly onto him, taking him inside before I went still.
“I don’t want you to come,” I instructed.
“At all?” His groan was heartfelt.
“Not for a while. I had an idea. I think it’s my, ah, orgasm, that sends the magic into you. So you don’t need to come as often.”
He grunted, moving inside me deliciously. “I’m not so old that I can’t come more than once.”
“I’m not so young that I’m going to give up the chance to have as many as I can squeeze out of you,” I teased back. “I have no idea how many times in a row I can come. Don’t you think I deserve to find out?”
He slid his hand between us to circle my already soaked clit with his finger, his eyes blazing. “I think you deserve to be worshiped like a goddess, little star. Just tell me what to do. I’m yours to command.”
“Mine to… command?” The words had been filled with truth.
“Yes. I vow it to the moon. Anything you ask of me.” His eyes narrowed. “As long as it doesn’t hurt you, as long as it’s in my power, I’ll do it. I belong to you.”
My breath caught at the naked lust in his expression. “Such a good Alpha.”
I began to move slowly over him this time, adjusting my hands intentionally, so that with each climax, I had healed a part of him. I never picked up my pace, but he kept his fingers moving exactly right, his amber gaze fixed on me.
My theory was correct, and by the time I’d come a dozen times, I’d healed his forearms as well as the rest of his stomach.
“I may have gone a bit too far,” I whispered as I closed my eyes, wondering when the bees’ buzzing had gotten so loud. Wondering why Julian still felt so incredibly tense beneath me, like he was fighting not to move. “Let me sleep. Then I’ll try again.”