Skyler #2
He sighs. “Stop overthinking it and do what you want to do.”
“It’s not that easy.”
My game plan slips, and suddenly I want to tell him everything. I want to tell him that there’s more to this than he could ever understand, that he needs to walk away — no, he needs to run.
But before I can process the thought, a bright, assaulting flash strikes us both like a bolt of lightning.
Kip grabs me protectively, his arms surrounding me, both of our hearts ticking up a notch.
“You two are so cute together.”
The voice is distant, unfamiliar, and with the bright flash still blinding me, I can’t make out who it belongs to. Slowly, the fire behind their silhouette brings their frame into view, and I swallow hard.
“New boyfriend again, Skyler? Will he be with you in Vegas?”
“Shit,” I murmur, my hand blindly reaching for Kip’s. I yank it hard, steering him toward Greek Row. As soon as we catch our bearings, I start running, and Kip follows, still glancing over his shoulder as more flashes ring out.
The photographer follows for a short while, shooting out more questions, but we lose him once I take us through the Omega Chi Beta back yard. I keep running, just in case, not stopping until we’re tucked away safely in the family bathroom of Hawthorne Hall.
We stand there, quietly, save for our breathing. Kip asks me what’s going on but I cut him off quickly, pressing a hand over his mouth. Once I’m sure we’ve lost him, we let ourselves back out into the cool night, and I keep my eyes away from Kip’s.
Great.
As if the night wasn’t already bad enough, of course a reporter would show up.
Dad told me I should be on the lookout for them, that they’d be seeking me out again now that it was public knowledge that I’m in the tournament this May.
Still, I thought after they were banned from campus, I wouldn’t have anything to worry about.
Then again, technically, the bonfire was right off campus.
I sigh.
“What the fuck was that?” Kip asks, his breathing still evening out as we make our way toward the sorority house.
“Probably a reporter,” I answer, voice flat. “Or a freelance photographer low on funds. Or maybe there’s another Hottest Poker Players issue coming out from some played-out magazine. I always seem to end up on those shitty lists.”
The words flow out freely, my poker face temporarily stunned as the real pain in my heart slips through.
I’m entered in one of the biggest tournaments in the world. I’ve proven that I can handle my own, that I can be competition for even the top players in the industry.
And yet still, all they care about is what I look like and who I’m dating.
“What are you talking about?” Kip asks.
“This happened last year before I played a pretty massive tournament in Atlantic City,” I say with a sigh.
“My parents told me it would probably happen again and maybe be even worse with this one in Vegas, but I guess I didn’t think they would find me here.
They’re not supposed to be allowed on campus, but technically the bonfire isn’t on campus, is it? Fuck.”
I repeat the words I’d thought silently aloud, and the more I think about it, the more upset I am.
I just want to be left alone. I don’t want to be their pawn, or Erin’s, or anyone else’s.
How did I end up here?
Thoughts are hitting me faster than I can process them, and suddenly, Kip traps my wrist in his hand, pulling me back until I’m crushed into his chest, both of his arms around me. He holds me tight, rocking me gently, his lips finding my hair as he presses a soft kiss there.
And I let him hold me.
I’m tempted to cry, but I use every last bit of mental strength I have left not to. Instead, I focus on my breathing, letting it even out as Kip holds me, his warmth surrounding me as we stand in the yard of the sorority house. Everyone is at the bonfire, so I’m not worried about anyone seeing.
But I am worried about what I’m feeling.
Because I feel safe.
And I’ve never felt that with a boy before.
“It’s all good,” he says after a moment, pulling me back to look at me. “They’re gone now and we can talk to the Dean tomorrow about this. Or President Whittington. They’ll take care of it.”
I nod, though my wheels are still spinning. “Okay.”
Kip doesn’t seem convinced by my verbal agreement. His eyes search mine, the light from the front porch just barely illuminating his eyes.
“Hey, look at me.”
I suck in a deep breath, holding it in my chest before I let my gaze find his.
“The only thing you need to worry about right now is picking out a dress for tomorrow night, okay? I’ll handle talking to the president.” He smiles, so confident in the fact that he can take care of me.
And I so desperately want to let him.
“Pick you up at seven?”
I let myself study him for a moment, my eyes sweeping over his mussed hair, his high cheek bones, his strong jaw. I hover over his lips, still tasting them on my own.
And then, I force a smile, putting my poker face back on.
“Actually, Adam and some of your brothers are coming in a limo to pick a lot of my sisters up. Could we ride with them? It would be so fun!”
I can tell Kip hates the idea of sharing me with anyone, especially a car full of people, but he nods. “Okay, yeah. I’ll talk to Adam.”
“Okay.”
I smile again, lifting up on my toes to peck his lips before turning for the door. I need to get inside. I need to put distance between us, to put my resolve back in place.
Thankfully, Kip doesn’t follow me. He doesn’t tug my wrist and pull me back, deepen the kiss, ask me again to come home with him. Thank God, I think, because I doubt I could decline again.
I don’t feel the weight on my chest recede until I’m inside the house, the door closed behind me, serving as a barrier between me and Kip. And even then, the weight only lifts a little, just enough to let me breathe.
I don’t even bother taking a shower.
As soon as I’m up the stairs, I strip out of my hoodie, kick off my boots, and face plant on my bed.
When my cheek hits the cool cotton of my pillow, I know the truth.
It screams at me, taking over every other thought now that I’m alone, and it won’t let me rest until I look it in the eye — until I acknowledge it.
I can’t do this.
I can’t play this game anymore. I can’t pretend I don’t have feelings for Kip, and I can’t lure him in just to hurt him. I have to tell Erin that I need out.
I have to tell her I like him.
Taking a deep breath, I let the weight of that settle in on me.
And only then, in a dark room without a single other sister in the house, I finally let myself cry.