Chapter 18 #2
I clutched his shirt in my hands, breathing him in as those words pummeled me. I stopped being one. He was so right that it ached. I had been one, because my mother had. Her hugs had always made everything better until they were no longer there to remind me of that sensation.
My arms slipped around him, and my body shuddered as more tears fell. He held me through them, letting me be myself, letting me fall apart again, and being my strength, just like he had said he would.
“Do you want something different, Olivia?” he asked, his warm breath skating over my hair. “To be that girl again?”
“Desperately,” I said. The sound was a fraction of a breath, but the power behind it resonated. I buried my face further into his chest. “I don’t want to be alone anymore, Hudson.”
His hold on me tightened. “I have you. You’re not alone.”
Those words spun through me like a spider weaving its web, the strands fortifying me.
He kissed my head, his hand smoothing over my hair. “Let’s go riding. The horses are ready to run, and you need a reminder of who you really are.”
As I lifted my face, his fingers swept the trail of tears away. “And who is that?”
“The woman who stole my heart the day she crashed into my back and never returned it.”
My eyes bounced between his, seeking signs of doubt, of fear, of regret, but they found none.
“Come on, let’s go ride and free that girl a little more.” His hands encased my arms, and he gently pushed me from him. “And this time you saddle up yourself. I’m not sharing my horse with you. That was way too distracting.”
I frowned. “You hated me during that ride.”
His lip tugged as he fought his smile. “Didn’t mean that ass rubbing against me didn’t turn me on.” He grabbed his hat and opened the door. “Let’s see what you’ve got in you, Olivia Icinda.”
With a shake of my head, I walked through the door, squealing when his hand landed a loud smack on my bottom.
“That’s a sound that will stick with you,” he muttered as he closed the door.
I rubbed my butt, scowling at him. He strolled past me, his long legs eclipsing my pace but leaving me a view I couldn’t deny enjoying.
The way his jeans hung loose on his hips and his T-shirt showed the definition in his back and those arms. Good God, those arms were sexy.
I’d never been into anything to do with the country, but maybe that was because Hudson had been my definition of that for me.
Even before he’d become this walking hunk of brooding sexiness, he’d been my only association with the country.
I hadn’t gone riding since leaving Hudson. Horses reminded me too much of him, of us, of what I’d lost. So, when he slung the saddle on the horse, Ivy, I stood there unsure what to do next.
“Show me what you've got, city girl.”
“You say that like it’s an insult, and it’s not.”
“Round here it is.”
“Says the city boy.” I scratched my head, trying to remember what to do.
“Haven’t been a city boy in over a decade, and I don’t think I ever was. Not at heart.”
I looked over at him, seeing how his brow had creased with the thought.
“Yeah, you never really were,” I told him, seeing the creases fade as his eyes lit.
Chewing on my lip, I took a step forward. My hand smoothed over the leather, the memories coming back to me. Days of laughter, of smiles, carefree and in love.
The wind whipped through my hair as I looked back at Hudson. His smile was huge, and I laughed, the sound freeing as it bubbled from my throat.
“Where do you think you’re going, honey?”
My insides curled in knots because I knew what that meant, the pleasure that awaited me when he caught up with me.
“You only get to say that if you catch me!”
I turned back around, urging the horse into a faster gallop.
His hooves beat in a loud rhythm as land swept past us.
The mountains provided a gorgeous view, the fields of wildflowers adding hues of color that I knew would ensure this memory was one that would remain vivid.
Excitement buzzed over my skin and through my veins as I leaned further into my saddle.
Within minutes, Hudson was beside me, his brown mare breathing heavily as he glanced over at me and winked. My face ached from my smile, my stomach hurt from my laughter, and I couldn’t imagine that I’d ever been so happy. But I knew with Hudson, I would continue to be.
He reached over and took my reins with the confidence of a skilled rider.
While he’d taught me all there was to riding, and I was comfortable now, I was nowhere near as good as he was, and as he eased our horses to a slowed pace, a rush of pride settled in me.
This was what he was meant to do, his calling, and I would do everything I could to encourage him to follow it.
I had yet to tell my mother about my new love of riding.
Her state the last time I’d been home had been delicate, but Gabe knew.
My father, I had yet to approach, knowing he would destroy it, make it seem like something worthless, belittle me for it.
So for now it was my secret, something just for me that I shared with Hudson.
Something so different from who I was at home.
Hudson stopped his horse and hopped down as I brought mine to a halt.
He led the horses to the stream that trickled through the field and put his hand out to me.
I took it, loving how his powerful hands held my waist while he brought me down.
My feet didn’t hit the ground, though. He readjusted me, and I wrapped my legs around him, threading my fingers through his hair and kissing him.
My heart felt like it might burst from my chest because the power of that kiss wove its way into me, calling to the claim he had on me and reaffirming it.
Heat bloomed in my belly, and he chuckled against my mouth as if he noticed it.
“I think I’m in the mood for a snack. Some sweet honey to tide me over until we get back.”
I shivered, causing his laugh to grow as he laid me on the ground. Hovering over me, he nudged my legs apart with his knee. I gazed up into his eyes, which were the color of freshly tilled earth.
“I love you, Hudson Thomas.”
“Oh yeah? You sure you don’t just love my tongue?”
I tossed my head back and laughed, a move he took advantage of, kissing my neck and pushing my shirt up.
“That and everything else.”
He picked his head up, those chocolate orbs growing serious. “I’m going to marry you, Olivia Icinda. When you graduate. That’s as long as I can wait because I know with certainty that you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
My pulse raced, the air sticking in my throat until it filled my lungs in a ragged inhale. Eight months together and he knew with certainty, but then again, so did I.
“So you’re saying you love me?”
He gave me a crooked grin that caused my insides to bunch uncomfortably. “You could say that.”
“I’ll marry you, Hudson, and you can spend the rest of your life reminding me why I love that tongue so much.”
His laugh was a bellow that echoed through the open space. He leaned closer, rubbing his nose against mine. “I promise you, Olivia, I will ensure you remember every chance I get.”
“Look at that, you did it.”
I jumped from my memory-induced focus, seeing that I’d prepped the horse, even securing the bridle as if my hands remembered just like my mind had.
“Do you remember the first time you proposed to me?” I asked, the memory so vivid I could smell the cool Pennsylvania air.
“You mean the day you thought you could race me?”
I turned to him, seeing a smirk forming that had my insides doing the same thing they had in the memory.
“Yeah, that day. Were you serious?”
He closed the space between us, his hat throwing a shadow over his face and darkening his eyes.
“Deadly.”
“But we were so young and we’d only been dating a short time. How could you have been so sure?”
His hand encased my neck, and he dragged my face to his, brushing his lips over mine and never breaking his eye contact with me.
“I knew the day I met you, Olivia. There was no doubt in my mind that you were the one, and I wasn’t about to let you walk away from me with that hand-drawn map and confused freshman look.
I claimed you that day and every day after until you removed that claim. ”
“I never removed it.”
His fingers spread over my neck, and I wondered if he could feel the blood rushing through my veins.
“No, you didn’t.” He tugged me forward, his lips crashing into mine. “Fuck, Olivia, I would have asked you to marry me that first day if I’d thought you wouldn’t think I was insane.”
“Maybe a little, but I might have considered it. You were pretty cute.”
He chuckled against my mouth, deepening our kiss until he stepped away from me.
“Think you remember how to ride on your own?”
“Definitely.”
“Enough to race me?”
I tipped my head back and laughed, the sensation so reminiscent of when I was young and carefree, letting Hudson make everything all right.
He landed a kiss on my cheek and slapped my bottom before walking to his horse.
“Show me what you’ve got, Olivia.”
I watched as he mounted his horse, smoothing his hand down its mane before grabbing the reins. A melancholy reminder slid into my periphery—a few days from now, I would have to leave all of this.
Hudson's lips turned as if he had read my thoughts. “Focus,” he said, his grimace tugging that thought closer. “Focus on now, Olivia. We’ll figure the rest out.”
With that, he turned his horse and headed out of the stable.
Figure the rest out. Words that held confidence, a surety that we could surmount the pending separation.
I wasn’t so certain, but I latched onto his words and hiked myself onto the horse, intent on enjoying every minute I could with this man.