Chapter 19
Liv
Still alive?
Gabe’s text came through just as I was emailing him my plans for the ranch.
Hudson was out working on smoothing out the ditch from the rain now that the ground had dried up, so it gave me time to work, something I hadn’t done in the past two days.
When I’d last checked in with Gabe, he’d told me to take a few days off, and I had, taking the time to enjoy Hudson.
Soaking in his love, his touches, his dirty words.
Good God, could that man work me into a puddle.
No wonder I’d never found anyone to take his place.
Not that I’d even looked, content to leave my heart as his, even if I’d thought he had moved on.
Liv: I am. Just getting ready to send you our thoughts on improving the ranch.
Dots appeared and disappeared before my phone rang. I rolled my eyes and answered.
“Is Tori in there distracting you so you can’t understand my last text?”
“No, smart ass. She’s on a call. I thought I told you to take a few days off.”
“I did.”
“That was only two days. Maybe you should go back to school if you’ve forgotten how to count.”
“Be glad you’re too far away for me to throw something at you.”
“You’d probably miss, like you always do. What did you mean by our thoughts on improvements?”
I looked at my phone, bringing up the text and seeing that I had indeed said our instead of my. Damn, he’d caught me, and now I’d have to tell him he was right in sending me here.
“Liv?” There was a teasing tone to his voice, and I rubbed my temple, knowing what was coming and glad Tori wasn’t in the room to make this worse.
“I had to include the ranch owner,” I tried.
“Ranch?”
“Yes, it’s called a ranch out here. And if he’s running it, I need his input.”
“Mm hm.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Just say it, Gabe.”
“Say what? That sending you there was what you needed? Did you sleep together yet?”
“Ugh, I really hate you sometimes.”
His laugh came through the phone, and while it would have annoyed me in the past, this time it made me smile.
“You did! Wait until I tell Tori.”
“You will not tell Tori. Damn you two for meddling in my life.”
He was quiet for a moment before he spoke, his words soft. “I just want you to be happy, Liv. You deserve to be.”
With a sigh, I sat back in my chair and pushed a hair from my cheek. “I was happy.”
“No, you were living, going through the motions. Just like I was before Tori came back into my life. Burying your pain and building your walls. We’re too much alike for me not to know that.”
Those pesky tears filled my eyes again. Now that I’d opened the dam, they made their presence known all the time, and I no longer had the strength to stop them.
Sniffing, I said, “I know.”
“Did you make up with him? Tell him the truth?”
I nodded as if he could see the action, still fighting the urge to cry. Taking a drag of air, I answered, “Yes, he knows it all. And yes, we made up.”
I could almost hear his excitement through the phone.
“But, Gabe, we live different lives in different places. I don’t know how this will ever work.”
“It will because you’ll fight for it, just like I fought to win Tori back. If you really want it and really love him like I know you still do, you’ll figure out a way.”
I stared at the ceiling, shaking my head at his words. “When did you become a self-help guru?”
That caused a chuckle, and I realized it wasn’t until Tori had returned that I’d heard him laugh. Nor had I known how much I’d missed the sound.
“I wouldn’t say guru, but I know a bit about fighting for a second chance, and I can promise you, Liv. It will be worth it in the end.”
“Yeah,” I said, picking at my broken fingernail. “I’ll send you the details in a few minutes. Have Tori look over the estimates and see what we can do. It’s a big overhaul and an expensive one.”
Talking business helped me recover and harden my edges.
“We’ve got plenty. We put the farm…no, ranch, under its own LLC and have funds already in place on top of what we paid Hudson for it. Whatever you’ve got in mind, we’ll do it.”
“Thanks, Gabe.”
“Sure thing, and try to relax more. Tori and I have it covered here.”
“Will do, and Gabe…” The urge to tell him I loved him welled up, to admit how proud I was of him, how thankful I was to have him as my brother. But it sat there like a boulder blocking my throat, and I faltered.
“Yeah?”
No matter how I wanted to tell him, that wasn’t us. It hadn’t been in so very long that I no longer knew how to tell him. “Say hi to the rugrat for me.”
“That was profoundly sweet coming from you, sis. Even if I’m not keen on the rugrat part.”
I laughed and said goodbye, staring at the phone long after we’d disconnected. Why was it so hard to tell him how I felt? To bridge the gap that sat between us?
The door opened, breaking my thoughts, and I looked over from where I sat at the island. Seeing Hudson removed the heaviness from my mind. His appearance was like the spark of a lighter in a dark room.
“What are you wearing?” he asked, kicking his boots off and hanging his hat before he headed to the sink to wash up.
Dirt-caked jeans had never appealed to me, but on Hudson they were sexy. His black T-shirt had dust on it, only enhancing the look.
“Clothes,” I quipped.
“Nah, those aren’t clothes for around here. Get your ass up and put those sexy jeans back on so I can ogle it.”
I looked down at my blouse and skirt. Wearing them had helped me focus and get back in a work mindset.
“My jeans are in the dryer, so you’ll have to deal with it.” Not that I hadn’t bought two more pairs, but those were the ones that really worked Hudson up, so they had become my favorite.
His head spun toward the back of the house, where the laundry room was. “You did wash? By yourself?”
I opened my mouth to respond when it occurred to me that I had, without a single complaint, without even thinking, like it was a natural every-day thing for me to do.
“Yes, and there’s nothing wrong with what I’m wearing.”
A look of pride shone in his eyes. “You can’t wear that out to the bar.”
“No?” I stood and smoothed my skirt down.
It was form-fitting and hugged my curves.
The blouse was sheer, and I’d left the top few buttons undone.
“I think I’d get quite a few looks if I walked in like this.
” I turned my head around to look at my rear.
“Yeah, especially my ass, which looks just as good in this as in my jeans.”
He wiped a hand down his face, his eyes roaming over me like I was a meal after a famine. Ravenous. That’s what those dusty orbs screamed when they locked with mine. In two strides, he was in front of me.
“Take the clothes off, Olivia.”
“What? Why would I do that?”
“Because I need a shower, and you’re going to join me. Besides,” he wedged his finger in my collar and tugged me closer, “you’re showing too much skin, and I don’t want to end up in a bar fight when other men look at you.”
“That’s possessive red-flag talk, Hudson.”
He leaned down, brushing his lips over my ear. “When it comes to you, my flags are blood red. Now, run, Olivia.”
A tremble went through me as my breath hitched. “Run?” I squeaked.
“Run, because if I catch you, I’m going to hoist you over my shoulder and toss you into the shower with me. I’m sure these are dry clean only, and you’d have a conniption if I got them wet, so you’d better start running.”
I stared at him, my pulse thundering, excitement broiling in my belly.
“I’ll give you a head start, honey.”
And now my belly was so knotted with anticipation that I could barely think.
“One.”
“Damn it,” I grumbled.
“Two.”
I ran, skidding toward the stairs and grabbing the banister just before I tumbled.
By the time I reached the top step, he was on ten, and I could hear his heavy steps coming after me.
I tossed my shirt off and was pulling the zipper of my skirt down when he caught me, flung me over his shoulder and took me so hard as the shower water hit us that I didn’t give another thought to the condition of my skirt.
“What are you doing in there, woman? We’re going to be late.”
I turned in the mirror again, still not recognizing myself. “I need a few more minutes.” I called through the bedroom door.
Hudson huffed, and I heard him grumble that he’d be outside before his footsteps faded down the stairs.
I pushed a strand of my hair back, a sudden fight-or-flight sensation storming me and telling me to flee.
To return to my designer clothes and icy attitude, to lock myself away in the room and not come out until it was time to leave.
But that would mean no more Hudson. No more of his touches, his growling words, his brooding sexiness, his kisses that branded my soul.
I looked down at my legs. Jeans. My father had never allowed me to wear them. A girl wore dresses. Frilly, expensive dresses with patent leather shoes and stockings. Hair perfect, manners on point. An example of prestige.
Standing in front of the long mirror in the guest room corner, I blew a strand of hair from my eyes.
I’d insisted on leaving my clothes in the room even though I’d been sleeping with Hudson each night in his.
Somehow moving my clothes to his room seemed like a step closer to facing the fact that we were serious and ignoring the one that guaranteed I was leaving in a few days.
The looming shadow that threatened to destroy us.
I stepped closer to the mirror, staring at myself.
Could I live this life? Give up the city, the world I’d known for so long, the convenience, the shopping, the decadence.
I ran my hand over the satin fabric of the shirt, admiring the cut, the way it pushed my breasts up so they looked perky, the flashes of skin on my stomach that showed.
The kind of shirt I would never wear, but Hudson wanted to see me in.
And maybe I wanted him to see me in it. To not worry about the price of my clothes or what people thought of me.