34. CHAPTER 34 #2
"I'm not with you for the handouts."
"They're not handouts. You don't need to pay rent because I own the apartment. And asking you to chip in for food would be dumb, as long as you keep cooking like you have been here."
"I won't be a kept bitch."
"For the love of fuck. I don't want to keep you locked up and only waiting for me to get home. I'm trying to tell you that I want you to take as long as you need to find your thing. And if you never find it—who gives a fuck? I'll be happy to support you as long as you keep trying."
I roll towards Eden, unzip his jacket, and bury my face into his sweatshirt because I don't know what to say.
With a dry chuckle, Eden cradles my head.
"You'll still need to work, though. Just something part-time.
But the money will be yours. And I'll never ask you for any of it as long as you keep working towards something bigger…
I want you to shine, Jin. I want you to fight.
I don't want you to conform. I never want to stop questioning authority, or standing up for what you believe is right.
It's why I fell for you. It's why I know I'll never stop loving you. "
I look back up at him. "Really?"
"Really. Because I know you don't actually need me. You're a hustler. You'll do anything to get what you want."
"I got you."
"You sure did, Little One."
I wrap my arm around him as best I can. “And I’m never gonna let you go.”
Swapping hands on the wheel, Eden reaches out to grab my butt. “You better not. Cause nothing’s ever gonna be able to replace this.”
Pushing his hand away, I sit up then crawl onto his lap so I’m facing him but leaning to the side. “Is that all I am to you? Just a piece of ass.”
He slaps his hand against my backside and squeezes. “You're the best piece of ass.” And even though it doesn’t hurt, I squeak anyway because I know he likes it when I do.
“I hear your ass is pretty good, too,” I joke.
“Who have you been talking to?”
"Word gets around."
"Does it just?" It feels like he wants to say more, but Eden just goes silent—the truck continuing to shake as the chained tires make their way through the snow.
Content, I rest my head forward on his shoulder.
"Would you wanna find out?"
"What?" I sit back up.
“Do you think you’d ever wanna fuck me?”
My eyes widen. “Are you serious?”
He dips his head to the side; “Maybe,” and continues to look past me out to the track ahead. “I mean, I don’t hate the idea.”
“Uh, hell yeah," I respond far too desperately, and work overtime to reel myself back in. “I—ah. I didn’t think that’s something you’d ever want.”
“It wasn’t. But you also told me you never wanted to be in control, either. And that’s changed.”
"Shut up." I shrug, trying to act coy. "I might do it one day."
“You never have to do anything you don’t want.”
“I really like the idea. It's just that I also like… being yours… if that makes any sense?”
“It makes all the sense in the world.”
“Thanks.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for. I love how you look when I’m inside you—whether my hands are around your throat or yours are around mine. Just don’t get jealous if I use a substitute when you’re not around.”
“Oh my god.” I breathe against the side of his neck, and squeeze my eyes shut.
“Does that turn you on?”
“Yes, Hyung. How could it not?”
“Have you ever used one?” I shake my head and rub my forehead into the crook of his neck. “Have you lost your words again?”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“When our dicks are out you make the filthiest noises.”
“It’s different.”
“Should I start fingering your ass, then?”
“It’s not like I actually say more when we’re naked.”
“True. It's about the only time I can get you to stop talking.” My legs tighten around Eden’s thighs and I can feel my skin blushing. “I love seeing you flustered.”
“You just have to be shirtless around me and that happens.”
I feel Eden lean his head against the top of mine. "I've thought about you using one. Before anything happened. Back when we hated each other."
"What was I doing?"
"I thought it was too embarrassing?"
"It's not when you talk."
His hand is heavy on my back as it rubs circles, never getting too low, never hinting that this conversation will turn into something more. "If you're a good boy, I'll tell you later."
"I'm always a good boy."
I don't hear him laugh, but I can feel his body shaking. "I know you think that's true. But good boys don't beg for their asses to be destroyed."
With my hands on Eden's shoulder's, I push myself back so I can look straight at him. "I wouldn't have to if you'd—" The hand on my back moves to push my head aside so he can see the track. "I wouldn't have to if you'd just fuck me. Properly. Hard."
"And when we get home, I will. I'll start with a vibrator, and when you've taken a full dildo, I'll fuck the everloving shit out of you."
The truck comes to a stop and Eden reaches around me to put it into park and turn off the ignition. He's hard, and so am I. I want so badly for him to throw me down on the bench and take me right here.
"I wasn't supposed to get on your lap."
"I know," he says, bringing his face close to mine. "You're already being bad."
"You make me bad."
"I'll be sure to send myself a thank you card."
I want to rip my clothes off it's so hot. "Are you gonna kiss me?"
"No," he huffs out and I swallow his breath.
"Please."
"But we're here, Little One. Let's not waste the morning."