20. Chapter 20
Arlo
I feel awful about canceling the party. Tonight was supposed to be fun. If I’d gone in the state I’m in, though, I would have brought everyone down. It’s for the best that I stay home and avoid all contact with people.
I told Gunnar I loved him, and he ran away. His reaction was exactly what I’d feared it would be. So why had I opened my big mouth? I’m the world’s biggest idiot.
Something scratches at the door of my alchemy shed. I sigh. “Not now, Truffles!”
“Bullocks! Let me in, you diva. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” I snap. When she paws at the door again, I resolve to ignore her and focus on the task at hand: making the first phial of my potion. There’s no excuse to put it off, not anymore.
I made it clear I wouldn’t be marrying Gunnar unless he loved me, and judging by the way he reacted…
A lump rises in my throat, and tears sting my nose. No, damn it. No more crying. Enough!
Gunnar… doesn’t want me. At least, that’s what I’ve interpreted from the way he ran off like his arse was on fire. He showed me how he really felt, and I’ve got to believe him.
I won’t compete with a ghost. Let him keep Leif in his heart as he promised. Once he has this potion, it won’t matter if we’re fated or not; he’ll no longer have any need for little old me. I got what I wanted when Nan gave me her flower. Our obligations to each other end here.
I should have learned from the first time he dropped me in the dirt and rejected me. I should have known Gunnar Erikson would break my heart. Fool me once, fuck you. Fool me twice, fuck me. Or however the saying goes.
Sniffling, I wipe my damp eyes so I can read the recipe more clearly. I’ve got all the ingredients I need. It’s time to get to work and pray to the goddess I don’t make any mistakes. I only have one flower, after all, and if I mess up, Gunnar and the other berserker wolves will suffer.
My phone rings and makes me jump out of my skin. I’d put it on Do Not Disturb. The only ones who can call me are family and work. I snatch up my phone and grimace when Councilwoman Kendrick’s name flashes across the screen. Why would the Council be calling me?
“Councilwoman! To what do I owe the pleasure?” I plaster on my fakest smile and code-switch to my I’m-a-happy-employee voice.
“The Council has called an emergency meeting. Please come as soon as you’re able.”
My heart plummets into my stomach. The Council gave us a deadline, but we’re well ahead of it.
Shit. Something’s happened. Does it have to do with Gunnar, or is it unrelated? “Got it. I’ll be there soon,” I say and kill the call. Acid prickles the back of my throat, leaving a sour taste.
Heart thudding, I try to call Gunnar, but he won’t answer. My stomach gurgles, and I worry I’ll be sick with nerves. I’ve got to know what happened. Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion.
Truffles squeals when I throw open the door. “What did the wankers from the TTA want?” she asks, trotting after me.
“A meeting with the Council.” Kneeling, I fumble with her collar and open the pouch strapped there. Inside is my TTA-issued ID and my badge, allowing me to travel to the TTA’s headquarters.
I slap the badge on my chest, and magic makes my teeth vibrate.
I tear open a portal and run through. It feels like my stomach flips upside down when the grass under my feet becomes hard tile.
The headquarters lobby bustles with agents heading to work.
I show my badge and they let me into the elevator.
I have rarely visited the Council’s meeting room, so I have to ask for directions a few times before I find the damn place. Inside, gathered around a round table, are men and women dressed in suits. They look less like witches and more like executives from Wall Street.
“Mr. Tenanbaum.” A woman rises and extends her hand. Her smile is bright white against her ruby-red lipstick. “Marjorie Pence, head of the Traveler Council.”
“A pleasure,” I mumble, giving her hand a squeeze.
I don’t miss the way she wipes her hand on her skirt. “Have a seat.”
I drop into a seat opposite her. “Has something happened?”
Pence folds her fingertips together, her expression stony as she flips through a folder filled with goddess knows what. “You were tasked with helping Gunnar Erikson control his berserker rage after a major security breach. Is that correct?”
My heart seizes.
Shit. It’s just as I feared. “Yes. I just got the final ingredient for my potion. I was making it when my superior called. I could have it ready as soon as—”
She slaps the folder shut. “I’m afraid it’s too late for that, Mr. Tenanbaum.”
There’s a ringing in my ears. “W-what?” I laugh. “No, it’s not. We haven’t even reached the deadline. Just give me some more time!”
“Mr. Erikson went berserk and shifted in public. He attacked a witch and terrified a street full of onlookers.”
What? That makes no sense. Gunnar’s been doing great. He’s been calm, in high enough spirits—
But I know all too well how quickly things can take a turn for the worse. I’ve got the bloody scars to prove it.
When it becomes clear I’m incapable of speaking, Pence says, “We’ve secured the scene. Agents are wiping memories as we speak and the injured witch is being tended to.”
I don’t care. Fuck this, all of it.
“What happened to Gunnar?” I have to choke out the words as my throat thickens with dread. Goddess, did they capture him? Is he in this very building, awaiting the death penalty for losing control?
“He has evaded custody.”
It takes everything I have not to sag into my seat with relief.
“You know him better than the rest of us. Do you have any idea where he might be?”
“I… I’m not sure. Have you spoken to his brothers?”
“We will visit the Erikson pack after the security breach has been contained. For now, the task of finding him falls to you, Mr. Tenanbaum. He was your responsibility, after all.”
It feels as if the floor’s opened under my feet. I’m falling, falling down a long, dark tunnel. Drawing in a slow breath, I squeeze my hands into fists, trying to ground myself in the now.
This is good. So long as I’m tracking Gunnar down, no one else is. There’s still time to make this right and save my wolf.
I will save him. I’ll be damned before I lose another person I care about to a berserker’s madness.
I smile, hoping my lips don’t tremble. “I’ll get started right away.”
“Good morning, love!”
I barely open my mouth to speak when Mum throws her arms around me.
“It’s your big day soon!” She squeals, squeezing me so hard my ribs almost pop.
“Mum, can’t breathe!” I choke out, patting her back.
“Oh! So sorry, darling.” She lets go, and I draw in a deep breath.
“Is everyone home?” I march past her and into the living room. Goddess, it feels like yesterday Gunnar and I were sitting together in this very room, telling my family about how he proposed to me. Tears sting my eyes. I’ve got to find him.
“Yes, why?”
“It’s an emergency.”
Mum calls for Dad and Nan, and I wear holes in the carpet while I wait for them to take their sweet time and get over here.
“Everything all right?” Dad asks, carrying his mug of coffee in from the kitchen. “What’s happened?”
Before I can speak, there’s a knock on the door. I let in Rodney and Imogen, whom I had called and asked to come over on the way back.
“Don’t tell me you guys broke up,” Rodney says.
Imogen smacks his arm. “Don’t be an ass, Rod.”
Derek shoulders his way in after them, frowning as he crosses over to me. “Hey. You okay?” He gives my shoulder a squeeze.
I don’t know how to answer that. Once, his touch could brighten my day. Now, it takes everything I have not to squirm out of his reach. Goddess, I want Gunnar back. Now. “Can everyone have a seat? Thanks.”
Nan bustles inside with a tray of tea and biscuits. “Here you are, everyone!” She smiles brightly. “Now, where’s that handsome man of yours? I’ve got the scones he loved so much.”
“I don’t know,” I answer.
The weight of their confused stares makes me want to sink into the floor.
“He left this morning, wouldn’t tell me where he was going.” My throat thickens, but I clear it. “The TTA summoned me for a meeting. They told me he went berserk.” Mum’s gasp makes me wince. “They want me to track him down, and I need help finding him as soon as possible.”
Dad nods, face set in a determined frown. “You’ve got it.”
“Of course we’ll help!” Mum rushes to sit beside me, putting a warm arm over my shoulder.
“That poor dear,” Nan says, tears shining in her eyes. “How could this have happened?”
Imogen grips my leg. “Weren’t you working on some potion? You should make that while we focus on finding your guy.”
“She’s right,” Rodney says. “Just tell us where you think a berserk werewolf might run off to. A butcher shop? A zoo? A dog park?”
I wish it were that simple. When ulfhednar go berserk, they surrender to their instincts.
He hasn’t killed anyone, thank the goddess, but he did run from the scene of the incident.
“He’s probably hiding out in a huge forest,” I say, shoulders sagging from the weight of my worry. “It could take days to find him.”
And what if it’s too late? What if I can’t bring him back?
“Hate to say it,” Derek says, “but what makes you think he can even be saved? You know for sure this potion works?”
My hands flex. I want to say that of course it works. But maybe it doesn’t. If not, then Gunnar will be truly lost to me.
“Fuck!” I hiss, lurching to my feet. I put some space between us, grinding my teeth. I’m not giving up on him, even if he has given up on himself. He’s too important to me.
“Could he have gone back to the past?” Nan asks, and my heart leaps.
That’s certainly possible. If Gunnar had been able to wrest back control, his pack would surely be one of the first places he’d turn to for help.
“I’ll check there,” I say.
“We’ll come with you,” Mum says, looking to Dad, who nods and sets down his coffee.
“Nan, can you stay and work on the potion? I’ve got all the ingredients and the recipe in the shed.”