Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
PRESENT
Ischeduled my first local indie book club meeting since my promotion. The author wasn’t available to be present at the meeting, but she provided signed copies and stickers. I could hardly wait to tell Grant that I chose the book we were reading for the first meeting.
He has become one of my best friends, but also so much more.
I didn’t have to put on a mask to be more digestible around him.
He understood me in a way no one else had before—even Emma.
My only hope was to break down his walls and get to know the burdens he has carried for so long.
I hoped I could help him carry those burdens, or at the very least, hold his hand while he continued to heal.
My phone rang with a call from Grant. “What do I owe this pleasure?” I asked, answering the call.
“I want to run an idea by you.”
“Hmmm, I’m intrigued,” I said. “What’s the idea?”
“We’ve spent most of our time together at my place because of your ‘no boys allowed’ rule with Emma, but how would you feel about me coming over and making dinner for both of you?
” Before I could respond, he continued. “If Emma doesn’t want to feel like a third wheel, I could bring Gio.
I’d love the opportunity to get to know the person that’s most important to you. ”
Tears gathering behind my eyes and my nose stung.
I had never had a partner who was interested in meeting my friends or family without having to beg or grovel.
Grant wanted to meet Emma but also considered her comfort.
The more his kind and caring side showed, the more my heart filled with adoration for him.
“Serenity, are you there? Did I come on too strong? I’m sorry. Just forget that I said anything…”
I cut him off from spiraling. “I love the idea. We can have a little dinner party at my place. I might even take out the good plates.”
“No paper plates?” he said with a chuckle.
I laughed with him. “No,” I said. “We can all dress fancy like it’s a real dinner party. Would Gio be down to do something like that? I already know Emma will love an excuse to dress up.”
“I’ll convince him, don’t worry. He owes me one.”
“How’s tomorrow?” I asked. “I work later tonight because I have a book club meeting.”
“For which book?” he asked.
“I totally forgot to tell you when we started talking about dinner parties,” I admitted. “I pitched the idea for the book we’re reading by the local Arizona author to be the first book club of the month. The author can’t make it, but she has signed copies for everyone.”
“Looks like I do have plans tonight after all.”
“What do you mean?” I asked quizzically.
“I have to finish the book tonight and come to the book club meeting, obviously.”
I took in a breath. Would he actually come to my book club? I couldn’t figure out if I was nervous or excited. Honestly, probably a little bit of both.
“Guess I’ll be seeing you tonight then,” I tried to say confidently.
“See you soon, sad girl.”
“See you soon, buff boy.”
I hoped to always end our phone conversations the same way. But I wasn't a sad girl anymore—at least not nearly as much as before I met him.
I went to make some breakfast before work when I ran into Emma in the kitchen.
“Good morning, sunshine,” I said, walking to the fridge to take out a yogurt and fruit.
“What has you in such a good mood?” she asked, sitting at the dining table.
I looked back at her. “Grant wants to come over tomorrow and make dinner for both of us.”
“Both of us?” she asked skeptically. “Is this your way of asking me to join in a threesome?”
I snorted. “No, you perv. He wants to meet the most important person in my life, and if you’re going to feel like a third wheel, he’ll bring his best friend. What do you think?”
“Is he as good-looking as Grant?” she asked with a wink.
I rolled my eyes. “You’re supposed to agree out of the kindness of your heart.” I gave her a chastising look.
“I mean, I’ll be there, but do I dress to impress or what?”
“Oh yeah!” I practically yelled. “Dress as if you’re going to a fancy dinner party.
She stood up and smirked. “Okay, that’s perfect because I have a dress begging to be worn. I bought it for five dollars at a thrift store but haven’t quite had a reason to wear it.”
“Go get it and show me,” I said, pointing her toward her room.
“I want to surprise you,” she said. “I’m heading out for the day. Let me know if I should pick up anything for tomorrow, okay?”
“I will,” I said between bites. “Have a good day.”
“I’ll try.” She waved while heading out the door.
I finished eating my breakfast and proceeded to get ready for work myself. I was consumed with nervous energy for the book club meeting later today, barely able to sit still. I’d hosted plenty of book clubs before; this one shouldn’t be any different.
This was my passion.
The reason I landed the job.
The reason I took online business classes.
I was one step closer to making my dreams come true.
I took my phone out to text Grant. I knew he would know what to say to calm down my nerves.
Me
What if no one shows up at the book club meeting, and the owner decides I’m not cut out for the promotion?
Grant
Give yourself some grace. It’s the first one, and you’ve already connected with the author to offer signed copies. Readers love signed copies. And if no one shows up, then we’ll make a date out of it and have a two-person book club meeting.
But that won’t even be an option because it’s going to be a packed house tonight. You’re a pro at marketing on social media, so go in there with confidence. Okay?
Me
Okay, I got this!
His belief in me quieted my doubts, and my excitement grew knowing he’d be there.
I loved being intertwined in each other’s lives.
We talked about everything, well, almost everything.
We both had deep-rooted trauma still too difficult to talk about.
We’ve both made incredible strides in therapy and have been forthcoming in the short time we've been seeing each other.
I put my phone away and focused on work.
Mikey walked up behind me. “It’s your big day. How you feelin’, girly?”
“Honestly,” I said, “I’m a nervous wreck. All I can think about is no one showing up and losing Carmen’s confidence in me. I mean, Grant will be coming, but I don’t want him to witness my failure.”
“What if it doesn’t fail? What if, instead, you fucking kill it?” His eyebrows raised.
“Grant said something similar. My brain loves thinking of the worst possible scenario and perseverating on it. I’m going to stay busy until it’s time and then hope for the best.”
Mikey leaned down and wrapped his arms around me from behind. “For what it’s worth, I wholeheartedly believe in you. I’m here if you need to vent or need someone to hype you up, okay?”
I let out a small smile. “I really do appreciate you, even if I can’t show it because my brain is preparing for an ultimate failure.”
He gave me a light kiss on the cheek and left me alone in the office area.
I spent most of my shift contacting other authors who may want to be featured or come to the store to offer signings.
Before I knew it, there were only fifteen minutes until the book club meeting was to begin, and I hadn't even prepared the area.
I ran out of the office in a rush, but the corner where we hosted book clubs was already set up, and Grant sat on one of the couches.
I couldn’t help but smile. “How long have you been here?” I asked, approaching him from behind. He instantly stood up and turned to look at me. He had the widest grin plastered onto his face.
He wrapped me in his arms and planted a kiss on my forehead. “I might have gotten here a little early so I could do some shopping before it started. But I ended up finding a book right away and decided to sit here and read.”
“Another romantic fantasy?” I joked.
“Maybe,” he said with a wink.
Mikey came up next to us. “Hope everything looks okay. I didn’t want to disrupt your flow in there.”
“It looks great, thank you so much. Mikey, this is Grant.” They shook hands and fell into small talk, so I snuck away to grab my notes from my office.
When I reemerged, four other people were sitting on the couches in the book club meeting area. I blew out a sigh of relief that people showed up. Although I was relieved, I still picked at the skin around my nails in anticipation.
Grant met my eyes from across the room and headed straight toward me. “Ready to do a power pose and remember that you totally got this?” he asked.
“What?” I asked incredulously.
He stood up tall with his hands on his hips and recited, “I got this.”
“Your turn.” He had to be joking.
“I can’t do that in the middle of the store,” I whisper yelled.
He led me to a secluded corner. “Now, let’s do it together.”
I reluctantly followed his lead. We recited the line three times before we relaxed. The twist in my gut I had since this morning started to subside.
“How do you feel? Ready to knock this thing out of the park?” he asked, nudging my shoulder.
I smiled brightly at him because the nervousness turned to excitement. I took one more deep breath and headed back to the book club meeting space. There were at least ten more people huddling around, sitting on the couches, chairs, and bean bags.
“Hello everyone!” I said excitedly. “Welcome to our first local indie author book club highlight. We are so honored you could join us today to discuss Fate’s Tether. We hope to highlight more local authors who can hopefully join us in future discussions.”
I walked over to the chair Mikey had set up for me to face the group. I snuck a peek at Grant before beginning. He was beaming and subtly winked at me. I found confidence and began.