Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
Imade it to my last semester of senior year in high school and could hardly wait to move to attend college. I had endured enough trauma from living with my absent mom and her abusive boyfriend, so I was counting down the days until I could be away from them.
“Are you okay?” Shawn asked as we dressed after sex. My response was delayed because he continued, “Serenity, you good?”
I shook myself out of my reverie. “Yeah, of course. Let’s grab something to eat and watch a movie.”
We walked into my kitchen to browse the fridge. Neither of us heard the front door open because we both jumped when Andrés entered the kitchen.
“I see you have your boyfriend here while no one is home. What are you two up to?” He wore his famous smug grin.
He even winked at me when Shawn wasn’t looking.
It had been a few months since he watched me in the shower, and the sight of him still made me sick to my stomach.
I even showered a few times at school to avoid the situation from happening again.
“We’re just friends,” I said with a little more bite than I intended.
I didn’t want to be on his bad side, so I softened my tone.
“We’re looking for a snack before we start a movie.
” Shawn looked at me with a confused expression.
He probably wondered why my tone shifted so rapidly, but I couldn’t talk to him about it.
Andrés finally left us alone, and I let out a long sigh, clasping my shaking hands together.
“What was that all about?” Shawn asked.
I fidgeted from one foot to the next. “Nothing, I still don’t trust him after what happened a few years ago.” I wished the version Shawn knew was reality, but it became so much worse.
He looked like he didn’t buy it, but he didn’t push. “You know I’m here for you, right? I won’t let anything happen to you.” I wish I could believe him, but I couldn’t.
Andrés hadn’t touched me again recently, so I didn’t want to make a big deal out of something that would be over in three months when we graduate. I’d walk on eggshells and keep my head down. Hopefully, he’d leave me alone, or at the very least, it wouldn’t escalate.
“I know.” I bumped into him with my hip. “Now, what snack do you want for the movie?”
“Do I even have to ask?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll pop the popcorn; you grab the pickles.” His obsession with everything pickle flavored was slightly concerning. “I hope your college roommate understands your pickle addiction.”
“Oh, they will,” he started, “because I want you to be my college roommate.”
My mouth flew open with a gasp. How could he possibly want us to live together? We weren’t in a relationship. Did he want someone he could rely on for sex? How would we even date other people at that point? Would I continue waiting for him to commit while we’re in college, too?
“What are you talking about?” I finally asked, a million thoughts raced through my head as to why it would be a horrible idea.
Shawn anxiously ran his fingers through his hair. “I thought, maybe…” He trailed off.
“You thought, what?” I asked seriously.
“That my girlfriend would want to live with me if we’re going to the same college.” I blinked several times. I must have misheard him. Did he say girlfriend?
“Was that you asking if I’d be your girlfriend? Because it sucked if that’s what you were trying to do.” I held my breath. I’ve wanted Shawn since the day I met him. Did he seriously want to be in a relationship now?
“I know,” he said. “I had a whole plan, but you brought up the roommate situation, and I thought since we were applying to housing soon, we could instead live off campus in an apartment together. I know that means we won’t have the full college experience, but I want us to be together in college. Don’t you?”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” I couldn’t believe after all this time, we were going to finally be together. I was still in shock and needed him to say the words.
He put both my hands in his and gazed into my eyes. “I’m serious, Serenity. What do you say? Will you give a guy like me—who took way too long to figure out what he wants—a chance?”
I leapt into his arms and kissed him passionately. “I thought you’d never ask.” We kissed until we heard the door to my mom’s room open. I quickly moved away from Shawn, and he looked taken aback, hurt even.
Andrés came out and walked toward the front door. “Congrats, you two,” he said, slamming the front door behind him. My anxiety skyrocketed, the fear overwhelming. Would being in a relationship with Shawn cause more unbearable trauma? Would Andrés use Shawn against me like he did with my mom?
Shawn shifted his body to face me. “What’s his deal?”
I paused with hesitation. I couldn’t be honest. “I think he wants me to be unhappy for telling you and my mom about what he did when I was twelve.”
“You’d tell me if anything happens again, right?” His expression pleading.
I nodded my head. “I will. But now, we’re alone again.” I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. He soon gathered me in his arms and carried me up the stairs back to my room, abandoning the popcorn and pickles.
He hovered over me on my bed. “Do you think we can keep our relationship to ourselves for a while? I don't want drama with our friend group.”
I wished my feelings were more important to him than our friends. “Sure,” I said instead, forcing a smile. I didn’t want to upset him.
I had three months until graduation, and I’d be moving two months later.
Andrés stopped visiting me while I slept when I turned sixteen, but I'd forever feel uncomfortable in his presence.
He took so much from me, but he couldn't break my drive to build a healthy and happy life.
He might have taken my childhood, but he wouldn't be welcome to my adulthood.