Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
Ifinally graduated from college. After Gram passed, I considered dropping out to work, but I remembered how proud Gram was of me and how she would have wanted to see me succeed.
I took a year off to be more available to Luna during her transition and to settle what was needed to ensure I could be her legal guardian.
Fortunately, Gram had made sure we had everything necessary to make it smooth, but we still faced many hiccups along the way.
Once we were settled, I completed the rest of my courses online.
Avery officially moved in after Gram passed. She did her two years at the community college, but found a teaching degree online, completing her student teaching at the preschool where she worked. Life after Gram was dark for all of us.
I tried to ignore the pain, stay busy, pretend all was normal.
Luna’s life had been flipped upside down, though.
She didn’t have the person who had been her constant companion her entire life.
Although she was ten when Gram died, she had a period of regression where she threw fits, couldn't sleep through the night, and needed assistance with tasks she had previously mastered.
Unfortunately, her previous therapist moved, so we’d be meeting her potential new one today.
She still had emotional outbursts from time to time but had made great strides this year.
We followed a strict schedule and input all important dates onto a shared calendar, both on our phones and hanging in the kitchen to keep her on a routine.
“Lu, let’s go!” I yelled through the house. Her one constant difficulty was getting out of bed in the morning. We set her up with two alarms plus her phone, and we still had to prompt her out of bed.
“Coming!” she yelled back. It was going to be a cereal-for-breakfast kind of day because if she didn’t move it, we’d be late.
I heard her door open from the end of the hallway. “Why do you have to be so loud in the morning?” she groaned, putting her head on the table.
“Because if I wasn’t, you’d sleep all day.”
“Sounds fine to me,” she argued.
“Here.” I handed her a bowl of Kix cereal. “Hurry up, we need to leave in five minutes.”
She ate her cereal silently. Luna became almost too obedient that I wish she’d argue back sometimes.
Her therapist believed it was because she didn’t want to seem like a burden.
She understood now what Avery and I had to sacrifice to take care of her.
I was glad she was a good kid and had everything she wanted or needed, but I wondered if there was more I could do for her.
I didn’t want her to look back on her childhood and only remember the bad moments.
I wanted her to remember that we persevered and still had a fulfilling life.
“I’m nervous, brother,” Lu said as we walked out of the house. We were driving a couple of hours out of town to meet her new therapist.
“I know, Lu. It’s perfectly normal to be nervous about meeting someone new. Especially a new therapist, because you need to trust them to be honest. But remember what Avery said?”
“Hmm,” she started, “meeting new people is an opportunity to make a new friend,” she mocked, rolling her eyes.
“I know it's childish, but it doesn't make it any less true. And there’s no pressure today. This first visit is all about figuring out if you’re a good match for each other. She has expertise in grief and trauma, so I think she’ll be helpful.”
She didn’t respond, so I played music. She was a big thinker and needed time to process—especially with change. I crossed my fingers she clicked with the new therapist because it’s been a few months since her last therapist left, and she needed extra support.
“We’re here. Are you ready?” I looked at her, and she simply nodded.
We walked toward the building, but she stopped right in front of the door. I guided her to a bench close by. “What’s going on?”
“Do you think she’s going to like me?” Her eyes shifted down to her shoes.
“Can you look at me, please?” She did, and she looked on the brink of tears. “You’re the best young lady I’ve ever known, and I’m not just saying that because you’re my little sister. She’s going to love you as long as you just be yourself. Do you think you can do that?”
She stood up tall and put her hands on her hips. “I got this,” she said confidently through a laugh.
“Yes, you do,” I agreed.
I opened the door, and we walked to the receptionist to check in. The receptionist told us to wait in the waiting room. We both anxiously bounced our left leg while we sat.
“Luna and Grant.” We simultaneously looked toward the woman who called our names. I was the first to stand up, but Lu soon followed.
We walked into a plain office with a green couch on one wall and a tall red chair on the other wall facing each other.
“Don’t mind the lack of decoration,” Darla said.
“I’m still in the process of moving in. I’m also hoping to add personal items for my clients, so hopefully after we chat, I’ll have some inspiration. ”
We both smiled at her. “But first things first,” she continued as neither of us responded, “why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourselves and the reason you’re seeking therapy?”
Lu and I exchanged glances “Go ahead, it’s okay.” I nudged her on the shoulder to give her the push to speak up.
“My name is Luna, and I’m fourteen years old. I’m a freshman in high school and have the best grades in all my classes. I live with my brother and his girlfriend, Avery. I’m here because my Gram died four years ago and I’m still sad about it.” She stopped rambling and smiled weakly.
“Nice to meet you, Luna. My name is Darla. How do you like living with your brother and Avery?”
“I love it,” she beamed. “Except when Grant yells through the house in the morning to wake me up, I definitely don’t like that.”
Both Darla and I laughed. “She's a tough cookie to wake up in the morning.” Luna stuck her tongue out at me.
“I like sleeping in, too,” Darla chimed in. “My husband usually wakes me up.”
Luna giggled. Her nerves settled the more we talked.
“What about you, Grant? I know you’re here as support for Luna, but I’d love to know a little about you as well.”
“Yeah, sure,” I said. “I just graduated from college with a degree in Computer Engineering. I’ve been working in technical support, hoping to find a position in my degree field soon. I’ve been with my girlfriend Avery since high school, so about seven years.”
“Do you mind if I ask how old you are?” She cocked her head to the side.
“Not at all.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m twenty-four.”
She made a note in her notebook. “So, you were twenty when you became Luna’s guardian. That’s a pretty big responsibility for a twenty-year-old. How have both of you been handling the transition?”
“We have fallen into a routine,” I responded.
“I love my brother and Avery, but I do miss Gram a lot. One minute, it was me and Gram and sometimes Avery while Grant was in college, and suddenly she was gone, and Grant and Avery were around full-time. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real.
I’m starting to forget things about her, though.
” Lu absentmindedly played with her fingers, holding back tears. “I don’t want to forget her.”
I pulled her close to me. “I’ll never let you forget her, okay?”
“I see how important remembering your Gram means to you. The point of coming to see me in therapy is not to forget, but to manage our feelings and actions for when we do remember. I want you to think back to your time with her and feel happy and fulfilled, rather than the continual pain of missing her. Do you think you might want to try working together?”
Lu looked up at me, and I gave her a slight nod of encouragement. “Yes, I would like that,” she said with confidence. I was so proud of the respectful young woman she was becoming.
We discussed some of the challenges Luna faced, and how we’d like to address them before we left to make a follow up appointment with the receptionist.
“So, what’d you think?” We had settled into the car to head back to the house. I turned the music off so we could talk.
“I liked her. She seemed like a mom.” She smiled, looking out the window.
I held my breath. She hardly talked about not having a present mom, but since becoming a teenager, she has brought it up a little more. “Ready to head home?”
“Yep.” She nodded. “Can I pick the music for the drive home?”
I handed her my phone. “Go for it.”
She put on our Gram’s playlist. A playlist of songs filled with memories of Gram. We were both quiet the rest of the way home. She eventually fell asleep, so I grabbed my phone to call Avery.
“Hi, baby, how’d it go?” Avery answered.
“Really good,” I said. “I think she’s going to be a good match. Even if it’s a bit of a drive.”
“Are you leaving now? When will you be home?”
“No, I’m calling to let you know we’re about to pull up. The appointment went short since it was a meet and greet.” I turned onto our street.
“Right now?” she asked frantically.
“Everything okay?” She sounded off.
“Yeah, of course.” I heard shuffling and movement on the line. “See you soon,” she said and hung up.
That was weird. Avery sounded distraught. When I turned onto our street, I saw a man running out of my house, waving back at Avery. I met Avery’s eyes and she instantly paled.
My blood boiled as I gripped the steering wheel. What had I just seen?
I woke up Luna, and we got out of the car. As I approached Avery, she had tears in her eyes. She mouthed ‘sorry,’ and that was all the confirmation I needed.
Avery cheated on me…
In our home…
Nausea rose from my stomach.
My heart pounded.
There had to be a reasonable explanation.
I walked Lu to her room while Avery waited in the living room.
Once Lu was in bed, I joined her on the couch. “There’s an explanation, right?” I said through gritted teeth. I could barely control my anger coursing through me; my hands balled into fists at my side.
She averted my gaze. “I’ve been stressed out with work, school, and Lu. We haven't been as intimate as we used to, so when I was approached at Katie’s birthday party I went to last week, I felt admired again.”
“That’s your explanation? That our life stresses you out, so the second someone makes you feel wanted, you stray?” I stood up and paced behind the couch.
“We’re still so young, but we were thrown this big responsibility that neither of us planned for…”
I put a hand up for her to stop. “You’re not about to blame Luna right now, are you?
You were the one who stayed and helped Gram with Lu when I went to the university.
You were the one who assured me that we could do it together for her.
That was all your decision. Now you want to blame our situation as to why you’re cheating?
” I tried not to yell, but I was in a state of shock.
Avery was my everything. My person. The woman I wanted to marry.
I bought a ring and planned to propose soon.
“It was a mistake!” she screamed. “It was the first time I had the house to myself without any responsibilities, and I wasn’t thinking. We didn’t get very far. I love our family, but I also still want to feel young. How can we do that?”
How could she do this? I wanted to fall to the floor and cry.
I sighed deeply and sat back on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
I already lost Gram, and now I was losing the other important woman in my life.
What the hell was I going to do without her?
She was my lifeline during the hardest time of my life, but what she did was unforgivable.
We were supposed to be each other's only; we promised.
Luna would be the one who'd suffer the most. She was supposed to have a happy home, and I couldn't even give her one.