Chapter 48
FORTY-EIGHT
PRESENT
The doorbell rang, and the three of us stared at each other for a moment before Grant and Luna went to answer the door.
She was the spitting image of Grant. Luna introduced them and led her into the house.
“This is my girlfriend, Serenity,” he introduced me.
“Aren’t you stunning?” his mom said, bringing me in for a hug.
I don’t remember my mom ever hugging me.
“I’m Linda, lovely to meet you.” She had kind eyes, and although I knew she made mistakes, I felt a kinship toward her.
I could have let my trauma take me down a dark path as she had, but she was here hoping to make amends, or at least a connection with her kids again.
“Welcome to our home. Can I get you anything to drink?” I looked over at Grant, and he was anxious. He repeatedly balled his hands into fists.
“Water would be great!” Linda exclaimed. I quickly grabbed her a glass of water as we settled into the living room.
Linda turned her attention to Grant. I put my hand on his thigh, and he wrapped his in mine.
“I know you might hold hatred and resentment toward me,” she started, “you should. I make no excuses for leaving, but I hope by sharing my story, you might be open to being in each other’s lives.
I lost my chance to be a mother to you, but maybe we can be friends. ”
Grant’s breathing became rapid. “Why did you leave? Why couldn’t you get better for us?”
Linda’s face fell, saddened. “I lost my way when my dad died. Mom went on like our whole world hadn’t just crumbled.
I needed to numb the pain and the memories.
I tried to stay sober when I had you, but I was already too far gone.
I stole from Mom, left you alone, and made terrible decisions.
I figured if I stayed, I would do more harm than good, so I left.
I called the first few years to check on you, but I hated myself for leaving, and hearing about how good you were doing made me stay away.
” She paused to wipe the tears that fell.
I reached for the tissue box from the table next to the couch and handed it to her.
Grant stood up and paced. “What about for Luna? What about all the years since? You didn’t even come around when Gram died. Did you even know?”
“I was in a bad situation when I had Luna. I couldn’t keep her in that environment.
I wanted better for her. I knew Mom would take care of her like she took care of you.
All my friends were addicts, so I was constantly exposed to bad people and bad things.
I wish I could’ve been strong enough to say no or leave, but I wasn’t.
I didn’t want to be around when I wasn’t sober.
I had to get there, but when Mom died…I lost my way even more.
I never truly thanked her or apologized for everything I put her through. I was at the funeral, though.”
Luna’s eyes snapped to Linda. “You were?”
Linda turned to face Luna. “I watched from afar behind a tree. I wish I could have been there for you both, but I was so strung up on drugs that I left and didn’t look back.
I’ve been in and out of rehab, but when Luna came around, my mindset changed.
She was broken in so many ways, but she was resilient.
I know you’re both adults now, and I know I don’t deserve either of your forgiveness, but I never stopped trying.
I wish it didn’t take so long, but we’re here now.
Maybe we can move forward and learn about each other’s past. I’m so sorry your lives didn’t go as well as I thought they would. ”
Grant sat back down, bringing his hand to his chin in deep thought.
He finally said, “I don’t want to hold on to my anger about your abandonment anymore, but it will take some time.
You’re the only other person who spent as much time with Gram as I did.
I want to know all about how she was when you were a child, and about your childhood. ”
Linda and Luna's tears began to fall. They stood up and embraced. Grant stood up, unsure if he should join. His eyes met mine, and I nodded in encouragement. He wrapped his arms around his mom and sister, and I started crying as I saw Grant reunited with his family. He had come such a long way from the closed-off man I met in Darla’s office.
They asked me to join in, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was part of a real family.
“Do you have plans for the rest of the weekend?” I asked Luna and Linda.
“No, we were thinking of staying in town for a while. I attend school online, and mom works from home at a bank, so we have no reason to rush back home. Maybe we’ll even look for a place to live here in town,” Luna responded, shrugging her shoulders.
“You can stay here, at least until you’re settled,” Grant said. “If that’s okay with you.” He turned toward me.
“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” I said genuinely.
The three of them reminisced about their upbringing, memories, and Gram in the following days.
They left to gather their things and Luna’s dog but returned, staying for a couple of weeks.
I became quite close to Linda in those weeks.
I revealed my own past and trauma with her, and she became the mother figure I wish my own mother could have been.
She listened, believed me, and offered empathy when I needed it.
We were all healing together. However, none of them had been back to the cemetery to visit Gram and Avery. I finally convinced them to take a trip. I selfishly wanted a place to go to feel close to them and thank them for their influence on my favorite people’s lives.
On Saturday, we drove out of town to the cemetery. Once there, we walked up to Gram’s gravestone first, placing white roses near it. Grant held both mine and Luna’s hands with Linda on the other side of Luna.
Grant cleared his throat. “We did it, Gram. We made one hell of a life for ourselves. There were bumps along the way, but I know how proud you would be. Especially of our girl, Lu. We lost ourselves a little bit, but we came back together better than ever.”
Luna started crying, and her mom wrapped an arm around her. “Thank you for always making me feel like I had everything I needed and wasn’t missing out within our small, non-traditional family. I miss you every day, Gram.” Lu continued crying.
Linda kneeled close to Gram’s headstone. “Thank you for being the mother to my kids that I couldn’t. I am only able to be here with them today because you raised them to have kind hearts.” She stood back up.
“Let’s go see Avery,” Grant said softly to Luna.
“Can I have a moment alone here?” I asked as they started walking away.
“Of course, my love.” Grant kissed me on the forehead, and they all walked off together.
As someone who didn’t have a loving maternal figure in my life, it was hard to understand what losing that person would feel like.
I voluntarily walked out of my mother’s life and have been better off for it, but Grant and Luna lost their Gram and it had left a permanent hole in their life that would be with them always.
“Hi, Hazel,” I started. “You have raised two of the best humans I have ever had the privilege of knowing. They are kind, driven, considerate, and the most loving to the people they hold dear. Since reuniting, they welcome each day with a new sense of happiness and healing. I hope you found peace with your daughter before you passed, because she has also shown how driven she is to stay sober for them, and that’s your influence, too.
She is now the mother figure we all needed. ”
I found myself crying for a woman I never knew. But when I look across the courtyard at the trio, I know pieces of her are in them, so I can’t help but love her too.
I headed toward the others. Luna and Grant cried in each other’s arms. I stood next to Linda, not wanting to interrupt their moment.
Grant spotted me and pulled away from Lu slowly. “Are you okay?” he asked her, holding her by the shoulders.
“I will be.” She smiled lightly at him.
I approached them, bringing them both into a hug. “I’d like a moment alone with Avery, too, if that’s okay.”
They both smiled lightly and walked toward the car with Linda.
I examined Avery’s headstone, overcome with sadness over being taken too soon.
“Hi, Avery. I wanted to thank you for all you did for Grant, Luna, and their Gram through the years. They may not have told you how much they appreciated you enough, but I’m here to say the only reason they’re where they are today is because of how you were there for them.
I don’t ever want them to forget you and hope I can be a positive presence in their lives moving forward. ”
I caught myself crying again for my two favorite people, who have become my best friends, and the pain they had to overcome to get to where they are today.
I walked back to the car. “I love you all,” I said, sitting in the car.
“We love you more,” they said in unison.
Grant grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips, leaving a light kiss on the outside. “I love you so damn much,” he said. “I love us even more. Now until forever and even past forever.”