Chapter 13
Patch
I nibble at the food the girls made me. I can’t fucking eat much without getting sick.
The doctor said that would be normal, and it would take some time for me to get back to normal.
Overall, I was fine. Bruised ribs and bruises all over my body.
Malnourished, but that was about it, as if that wasn’t enough.
I know Anika is worse. I know she’s dealing with more than I am.
“She doesn’t want to see you,” Kal tells me for the fourth time. She’s pushing me away, and the doctor said she probably would. But I promised her. I promised I’d stay with her when that shit was over.
“I just need to see her,” I tell him.
“I know you do, but she doesn’t want to, Patch. Let her heal,” he says. I nod my head before leaning back in my chair and sighing. I know this has taken a toll on her. I know she isn’t right in the head, but fuck, I need to see that she’s okay.
“We got any information on who did it?” I ask.
“You need to rest, Patch. Heal, brother.” I know that much, but I also need to know who’s behind this shit. I need to know who I’m going to kill when this is all over.
“We got guys lookin’ into it. So far we have nothin’.” I nod. We didn’t have much to go on. I ran from that hellhole. I ran as fast as I could and didn’t look back to see what the place looked like. That’s on me. I should have been smarter, but I wasn’t.
“You let me know when you hear anything,” I tell him.
“Of course. But for now, you need to rest,” he says once more.
“I’m exhausted.”
“You look like hell.”
“I feel it.”
“Her friend is comin’,” Kal tells me.
“Ellie?”
“Yeah. We’re takin’ every precaution brinin’ her here.”
“Good. That’s smart.”
“Does she have any family?”
“A brother she can’t find. Can you dig up any information on him for me?” I ask. Kal nods his head before sighing and running his hand through his hair.
“You’re gonna rest and get better, or I’m not tellin’ you shit,” he warns me. I smirk and shove out of my chair, taking my water with me as I head for my room.
I walk down the hall when I see Ban coming out of Anika’s room.
“She awake?”
“No. Just gave her more pain meds,” he says. I nod my head and watch him walk away before I check to make sure no one is looking. I get it, she doesn’t want to see me, but that doesn’t mean I stopped caring. I need to make sure she’s okay.
So I push the door open slowly and peek in at her.
She lies there curled on her side on the bed, her back to me.
Her hair is shiny now, not dull and dirty.
It lies flat against the pillow behind her.
I want to go to her. I want to take her in my arms and hold her, but I know I can’t.
Instead, I just watch her. She shifts under the blanket and rolls to her back, her head turning toward me.
Her eyes are closed, her lips parted slightly.
I see the creases around her eyes. She must be dreaming.
I think about going to her, holding her, when someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn my head and look over my shoulder to see Jimmy with his eyebrow raised.
“What?” I whisper.
“You ain’t supposed to be in here.”
“Fuck you.” He chuckles as I step back and close the door quietly. Then I turn on my heel and walk to my room with him closely behind me.
When I get into my room, he follows.
“I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Clearly you do. You stalkin’ that girl in her sleep?” he asks.
“I just needed to make sure she’s okay,” I admit to him.
“She doesn’t wanna see you, brother.”
“And I don’t get why. We went through that hell together. I get it, her end was worse, but she asked me to stay with her, Jimmy.”
“She’ll come around.”
“What if she doesn’t?”
“She will. She just needs time to process this shit. It was a lot to deal with,” he says.
“I’ll kill them. Whoever the fuck they are, I’m gonna kill every one of them.”
“They sent a video.”
“They what?”
“They sent a video. Storm tried to pinpoint the area, but the signal bounced. They killed the phone right after sendin’ it.”
“What video?” I ask as I sit on the edge of the bed. It could have been anything.
“You and her.”
“Fuck. Are you kiddin’ me?”
“No. You were fuckin’ her.”
“They stabbed her when I didn’t. Fuck, Jimmy.”
“I know. We saw that too. You didn’t have a choice.”
“Does that make it any better?” I ask him.
“You didn’t have a choice,” he repeats.
“It doesn’t matter. I did what I did.”
“Don’t blame yourself for that shit. Do you think for a second that they wouldn’t have killed her? Cut her up more?” he asks, his tone turning cold. He’s pissed, and I get it.
“They hurt her, Jimmy.”
“I know they did. She’ll heal, though.”
“Her body will. What about her mind? Her heart? What about that?”
“I can’t say. None of us can.” I watch him turn around and leave the room, closing the door behind him. I lay back, throwing my legs up on the bed and closing my eyes. I’m exhausted. I feel like I haven’t slept in years.
The exhaustion takes over. It pulls me under and holds me there. The dreams that follow will haunt me forever. It’s her. It’s her lifeless eyes. Her dull, pale skin. It’s the dried blood that crusted on her flesh. It’s the smell of death.
My hands clench at my sides, but there’s nothing I can do.
I can’t pull myself out of this nightmare.
I can’t wake myself up. I’m lost, drifting in a sea of darkness, but in that dark there’s a tiny light.
It’s her. She’s the fucking light. She’s the only thing that I can see, and she’s bloody and broken.
She’s lost and out of control. She’s fading slowly away from me.
When I wake up, it’s in a cold sweat. My clothes are covered, the sheet beneath me soaked. I shake my head to rid the thoughts of what was in my dream.
Then I climb out of my bed and pull my shirt over my head. I wince at the pain that shoots through my body. Walking into the bathroom, I turn on the shower before looking over at the clock. It’s fucking two in the morning. I should be asleep. I shouldn’t be awake right now.
Ignoring the urge to check on Anika, I step into the shower and let the cool water hit my skin.
This is all a complete fucking mess.