Chapter 14
Anika
She sleeps peacefully next to me. Her eyes flutter in her sleep, and I wonder what she’s dreaming about. Ellie has been here for two days now. I feel better having her this close to me. I feel better knowing that she’s here. But I need out. I feel like I’m suffocating.
I shake her shoulder as I look at the clock on the wall. I know I should let her sleep, but this is the time. This is what I need to do.
“You okay?” she asks in a groggy voice.
“We need to leave.”
“What? Why?”
“I need to get out of here. I can’t breathe,” I tell her.
“You need some air? I can open the window.”
“No, Ellie. I need out of here. Out of this clubhouse. Away from him. I need out,” I tell her, damn near hysterically. She sits up on the bed next to me and rubs her eyes before glancing at the clock and looking back at me.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Please just take me home.
” I almost beg her. Hell, I will beg her if I need to.
I need out of here. I can’t breathe knowing he’s just down the hall.
I can’t go to him. He probably hates me for what happened.
If I were him, I wouldn’t be able to look at myself.
I told everyone I didn’t want to see him, and I thought he would come anyway.
He promised me. But I can’t see him. I can’t see the look in his eyes.
“Okay. Let’s go.” She climbs off the bed, and I watch as she dresses and grabs her bag.
She packs her stuff as I stand and do the same.
Once our bags are packed, we walk toward the door.
Ellie peeks out before she ushers me out the door and down the hall.
One of the prospects stands near the door, eyeing us.
“We’re leaving,” Ellie tells him.
“You can’t do that.”
“Why?” she asks, popping out her hip and placing her hand on it.
“We’re locked down, darlin’. No one in, no one out.”
“Call Kal,” I demand.
“It’s two in the mornin’.”
“I’m well aware. Call Kal.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You’re going to let me leave!” I scream at the top of my lungs, not caring who the hell I wake up.
The prospect doesn’t budge, and I lose it altogether.
I scream and lunge at him, punching, kicking, and trying to gouge his eyes out.
I’m losing it. I’m slowly losing my sanity, and he isn’t helping the situation.
“What the hell is goin’ on?” Him. I can’t see him. I don’t want to.
“She wants to leave,” Ellie says when I feel hands slide around my waist. Patch pulls me off the prospect, but that doesn’t stop me from kicking and screaming.
“Calm down,” Patch says. My heart wants to calm down and let him hold me.
It wants to wrap around him and hold tight, but deep down, I know I can’t.
Tears fall down my cheeks as he sets me on my feet.
Then I turn on him. I hit, I punch, I take out all the aggression and anger that I feel on him.
He doesn’t deserve this. I know he doesn’t.
“Stop, Anika!” He growls. Ellie grabs my arm and pulls me away from him. He looks at me. Really looks at me. He can see it. The fact that I’m drowning.
“Let them go,” he tells the prospect in a soft, low tone.
“Kal said no one in or out,” he tells him. I see Patch swallow hard before he nods his head.
“Yeah. And I said, let them go.” He’s letting me go.
Just like that, he’s going to let me go.
Then it all comes back to me. Him telling me he didn’t want a relationship.
Him telling me it was only sex to him. My heart shatters in my chest as the words cross my mind.
I feel like I’m crumbling, falling into the darkness.
“Are you sure?” the man asks once more. Patch looks deeper into my eyes, into my soul, before he nods his head. The look in his eyes is almost sad. It’s almost too much to look at. He looks upset, full of regret, but he nods his head.
“Let them go,” he says once more, a little softer this time. The prospect steps aside and opens the door for us. I grab the bag that I dropped and heft it over my shoulder. Ellie walks out first, and I follow behind her.
“Anika!” I hear Patch call my name. I stop, drop my head, and finally turn to face him. His eyes, they’re so sad. Almost like he doesn’t want me to go, but his lips don’t move. And even if they did, I wouldn’t be able to stay. It’s too much. Too stifling.
Slowly, I lower my gaze and turn to follow Ellie to her car. She has the trunk open and ready as I toss my bag in. Then I’m walking around the car in a daze, climbing into the passenger seat.
“Are you sure about this?” she asks before starting the car.
“Yeah. I am.” She nods her head and starts the car, pulling out of the parking lot. I look in the mirror and see him, Patch, standing there in nothing but his sweat pants, watching us go. I can’t look away. Our eyes are locked in the mirror until he’s out of sight. Only then do I look away.
“Everything is going to be okay, Anika.”
“I don’t know how to fix this.”
“We’ll find a counselor. The doctor said she knew one who won’t question you about all this,” she says. “Although I still think you should let the police handle it.”
“Kal said it would be handled. I trust him,” I tell her.
“You barely know him.”
“I know that, but I can feel it. They’ll handle this.”
“Okay. If that’s what you want,” she says.
“It is. I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed.”
“Then that’s what we do,” she tells me as she drives through town. Before I know it, we’re back at our place. I climb out of the car, careful to check my surroundings before I get out. Ellie pops the trunk, and we grab our bags before heading for the door.
“I’m buying a gun,” she announces.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I tell her.
“Why not? We need to be protected.” She unlocks the door, and we both walk in before she closes the door and locks it.
“I doubt they’ll come back for me.”
“You never know what kind of weirdo is out there, Anika. We need to be safer,” she says.
“If it makes you feel better, we’ll get a gun.”
“Wouldn’t it make you feel better?” she asks as she punches in the numbers on the alarm system.
“I don’t really like guns,” I tell her.
“I don’t either. Plus, I need to learn how to shoot one, but I will feel better with one here. Just in case,” she adds.
“Then we’ll learn.” She smiles, and it sets my heart at ease. I take a deep breath and sigh. I’m home. Finally home.
I walk toward my room in a slight haze before dumping my bag on the bed.
Then I walk into the bathroom and start the shower.
I know I need to rest, and sleep is pulling at me, but I need to clear my head first. I pull my shirt over my head and look at the bruises and wounds. Tears fill my eyes as I take myself in.
“You’re disgusting,” I whisper to the reflection in the mirror.