Chapter 28
TRICK
We pull up to my house and it looks like we’re last to pull into the driveway. Mom wasn’t kidding when she said everyone would be here. I open Fifi’s door and hold her hand as she gets out of the car.
“Who’s this?” she says as another car rolls to a stop in front of the house.
Connor and Carmela get out, surprising us both. Fifi runs to hug her sister and Connor gives me a one-armed bro-hug. I swallow down the lump in my throat. Said lump must be made of lead, like the others I’ve swallowed this morning, as it drops, adding to the pile bottoming out my stomach.
“Everyone is here.” I state the obvious for no reason as Connor glances at all the cars in the driveway, then at me.
“Nice shiner.”
I grunt a response.
Fifi squeezes my arm and we head to the door, falling behind Connor and Carmela, we’re the last inside.
Dad’s eyes are the first I meet with mine and I hold the stern glare, tensing against the censure without looking away, as if I need the test of my strength in order to go on.
Since I don’t collapse to the floor or run back out the door, I figure I have what it takes to state my business and fall on my sword—while simultaneously standing my ground. Tricky.
I’m up to it.
People murmur greetings. No one mentions my black eye, though my younger brothers look curious.
Everyone acknowledging Fifi without accusation. That’s a good sign.
I stand at the head of the kitchen table opposite where Dad stands. Fifi stands next to me. Everyone else is sitting except Connor and Carmela who stand behind us. Dad darts a glare in Connor’s direction, relieving me temporarily of the pariah status.
When he returns his attention to me, I nod. I reach for Fifi’s hand and hold on tight, then look each and every one of my family members in the eye, starting with Pops.
“I have a few things to say and I’d appreciate it if you’d listen to everything before you… comment.”
Dad nods. Mom gives me a small sad smile. Pops growls.
I inhale a long breath. Returning my eyes to meet Dad’s, I don’t look anywhere else, unwilling to take in what my siblings will think. Not now. Not yet.
“I’m sorry for lying and keeping secrets from you about seeing Sofia.” I take a breath and add in a strong sure voice, “This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop seeing Fifi.”
“I see. Is that all?”
“No. I won’t be working on the boat this summer, or at the market.”
Dad raises his brow and the others look up at me, puzzled. I suppose that went without saying since Dad wouldn’t let me work in the family business now that I’ve excommunicated myself, but I see it as affirming my independence.
“I can’t stand the smell of fish. It nauseates me. I’ve puke at least once every day I’ve worked with fish.”
Kathleen puts a hand to her heart, looking horrified and sad. Rory nods in empathy as if he knows first-hand how I feel. Shit.
“You should have said something.” Dad’s voice is rough.
I nod, but I know it wouldn’t have mattered. He wouldn’t have let me off the hook. He’d have told me to breathe through my mouth or some such shit.
He turns his attention to Sofia. “What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?”
A strong knock at the kitchen door, bordering on a bang, stops Fifi from responding. Kathleen shuffles quickly to the back door, halting Dad in his tracks with a pleading look to let her answer the door.
We all watch as she pulls open the back door to the kitchen and in walks Leo Rossi and his wife, Marie. She squeezes past him, rushing to Fifi’s side to give her a big hug.
“What the hell is going on here?” Dad thunders
“Mr. Rossi—” I stop in the face of his livid anger, though it’s directed at my Dad and not me. Which is strange.
“What are you doing here?” Sofia says, sandwiched between me and her mother.
Dad faces the man with a murderous glare and takes a step toward him.
“How dare you enter my home—”
“How dare you harbor my daughter—daughters. You’ve taken both of them from me.”
“Stop this nonsense,” Maria says.
“You’re both wrong,” Mom says, joining Maria.
“Dad,” Sofia says, “I’m sorry I kept my relationship with Patrick from you, but we’re together. And even though you don’t like it, I’m not going to change my mind.”
He stares at his daughter, his face softening miraculously until he looks like he’s going to bawl. He reaches for her and Sofia goes to him. He hugs her.
“Why Sofia? Why do you do this to me? There are so many others. George—”
“I don’t want anyone else.”
He lets her go, nodding sadly. “If you go with him, you will be cut off—”
“I know, Dad, but it’s time I stand on my own and be an adult, make decisions for myself and pay for those decisions.”
“You won’t be—”
Marie puts a hand on his chest. “Say no more Leo. Don’t make proclamations you can’t back up.”
He stares at his wife defiantly, but she stares back as the room remains silent and watching.
“Let’s go.“ Leo guides Maria out the door without looking back at Dad or Sofia, and only glances at Carmela with a wistful almost-smile before leaving.
Dad breaks his stony silence. “Good riddance.”
Mom turns her glare on him. He turns away and addresses me. “You should leave now Patrick. Pack up your things.” He sits down and stares at the table.
His words attack me, each one a bullet to my soul, piercing and shattering pieces of me. The loss overwhelms me with pain for a moment until Fifi takes my hand.
I take her to my old room, meeting Mom’s watery eyes as I walk by her. She mouths it’ll be alright. I nod and escape inside the room, feeling like I’m about to explode with emotional upheaval. Squeezing Fifi’s hand, I hold it together because I know she’s feeling the same.
Kathleen follows us inside closing the door behind us. I should ask her to leave us alone, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing as a protective numbness grips me.
“You know you’re not exiled—not really,” she says, through her tears, making her less convincing.
I start shoving things into an old duffel bag randomly, not knowing what else to do. Fifi sits on a chair watching me.
“I know how it goes, Kay.” My voice nearly breaks and I clear my throat, unable to look at her.
I haven’t called her Kay since I was too young to read.
She used to sit me on her lap and read to me.
I take a sec to swallow back another tide of emotion, hoping I don’t drown or, heaven forbid, shed a tear.
“Connor set the example. It’ll be like that for us,” I say.
“That’s right. “ Kathleen swipes away a tear. “We still see Connor and talk to him all the time.”
I zip my duffel and heft a tote bag full of books over my shoulder. “Sure, but when was the last time he was at Sunday dinner with us?”
“I’m going to miss you so much, Trick.” Kathleen wraps her arms around me and cries against my chest while I hold her.
“You’re killing me, Kay.” My voice breaks and I feel Sofia behind me as she joins the hug.
“You’re both killing me.” Fifi laugh-cries and I move my arm to wrap it around her.
“I’m sorry for all the weeping,” Kathleen says as she separates from us, swiping at her tears with more force this time.
“How about if we have you over for Sunday dinner as soon as we get a place?” I’m surprised that the invitation is real and not some pie in the sky hope. “For real, Kay. You and mom and the boys.”
Kathleen laughs. “Sure. But where will you go and how will you pay for it? I have some money saved up—”
“No worries there.” A grin breaks out of nowhere because money is one thing I’m finally not worried about.
The door opens and Daniel comes inside without knocking. “Why aren’t you worried? You should be.”
“Not when I’m negotiating an NIL deal—”
“No way? For real?”
I nod.
That’s awesome.” Daniel grins. But Kathleen looks puzzled until Fifi explains it to her.
There’s a knock on the door and Mom comes inside, making the small room feels crowded, but in a good way. She comes to me without a word and gives me a hug.
“I hope you know you’re always welcome home as far as I’m concerned.”
Kathleen says, “He’s got an NIL deal.”
“He’s going to be rolling in money,” Daniel adds.
I put up my hands and stop them both. “Don’t get ahead of the puck.
I’m in negotiations and it’ll be a modest amount, but enough to float me for a while.
” I don’t say until I get drafted by the NHL because there’s something to be said about keeping one’s fragile dreams to themselves so they don’t break.
It shouldn’t be the way, but the closer I get to the real possibility, the more fragile my dream feels.
“As soon as I’m set up you’re all invited over for Sunday dinner.” I meet Mom’s gaze. “In case you want a Sunday off from cooking now and then.”
She nods, her eyes welling up. “I’m glad you’ll be alright financially.”
Sofia moves to my side and wraps her arms around my middle. “Don’t worry, Mrs. Jennings, I’ll take good care of him. We’ll do all we can to make sure our family ties stay strong.”
Mom nods and gives Sofia a quick hug.
“It’s time to go,” I say.
Daniel picks up the duffel bag before I have a chance and we leave the room, everyone following me out the back door. Liam and Rory jump up from their spots at the table to they join us outside.
Only Dad and Pops are left behind at the kitchen table and I take one last glance meeting their hard, stubborn stares.
Turning away, I feel the stab, but as soon as I’m outside with the rest of the family, I breathe in the salty air and tell myself they’ll come around in time. I know they will. I can hold the door open as long as it takes.
In the car on the way back to campus, I leave my hand on Fifi’s thigh, holding on, and her hand covers mine. We’re quiet until her phone pings.
“It’s a text from Mom.” She looks at me like she’s nervous to read it.
“If your mom is texting you now, it must be good.” I don’t know how or why I know this, but I’m unreasonably confident I do.
As she reads it, a smile grows and her face softens.
“She says I’m allowed to finish the year at UNH since my tuition is paid for and she says I can come home any time I want because the kitchen door will always be open.
” She turns to me with misty eyes and I reach for her hand, holding it the rest of the way back to campus.
A shudder of fear runs through me because neither of us have more than pocket change, my allowance from hockey and whatever she has left in savings.
I shake it off. Soon I’ll be playing pro hockey and if things go right, I’ll convince Fifi to come with me wherever I go after she graduates.
But that’s crazy thoughts right now.
A day later, on Sunday, after a call with Bog, I move out of Pammy’s and give her a gift—a team jersey, but without my name.
I get a call from Dart about the NIL deal.
“Did you have a chance to review the contract?”
“I did. I also had my friend Bog’s dad, who’s a lawyer review it. Hope you don’t mind.” I’m being cheeky as I take a seat on Bog’s couch, signaling that he, Sully and Van should gather round and listen in.
“No problem. We were impressed with the jump in your social media numbers since the game yesterday and—”
“You’re prepared to increase the contract from 10K to 25K?”
He lets out a whistle while I grin at my friends and they silently cheer for me, giving high-fives.
Dart capitulates and I send him back a signed revised contract with the provision that he’ll send 5K before the end of the week.
At morning skate on Monday, Coach Zabra doesn’t say a word to me, but Coach Winnick takes me aside.
“So you know, the decision to leave you alone about the fight with Rossi was made above Zabra’s head. The Athletic Director, University President and Board all agree the fight was Rossi’s doing. They didn’t need an investigation even though Zabra pushed for one.”
I nod, hiding the chaos in my gut and remain silent until it’s settled. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”
He slaps my back. “You’re not out of the woods yet. You still need to weather the rest of the season with Zabra on your ass every minute.”
I flick an invisible spec of dust off my shoulder like he’s nothing, realizing after standing up to my Dad, Zabra means nothing. I love my Dad, so he’s hard to ignore, but Zabra? Easy-peezy. I’ll have no trouble turning whatever shit he gives me into white noise.
At the end of the day Monday, I move in at Bog’s house in Sully’s old room. He’s secretly happy to move in with his girlfriend though he gave me shit about it for fun.
After hauling all my stuff and rearranging things, Fifi manages to makes the room look more sophisticated than I am. I couldn’t talk her out of buying new bed clothes and accessories—her words, not mine. I pull her onto the newly dressed bed with me.
“The room is fire, Feef. You deserve a gift.”
She scoffs, “Is that the gift you promised me at the Ball?”
“Maybe.” We finally retrieved our coats from lost and found at the MUB.
She holds in her giggle valiantly as I pull it from the bedside table drawer. She gives a puzzled scrunch of her brows—a look I enjoy—as I hand her the small hastily-wrapped package.
“Is that a newspaper it’s wrapped in?” she almost lets out her laugh, but bites her lip instead. That look hits my dick with a stick and makes it vibrate.
“Open it.” I’m suddenly in a hurry.
She does, pulling the wrapping off until her mouth opens wide and she darts her surprised eyes at mine.
“You got me a prime pink tomato pin cushion! And it has the attached pink strawberry!” She examines it. “It’s filled with emery sand.” She gives me her solemn gaze. “Did you know the sand is to clean and sharpen the pins and needles?”
I nod. She launches herself at my chest, giving me a kiss. I return it and deepen it until she insists on taking a breath.
“Thank you. No one’s ever given me such a thoughtful gift. It’s pink and it’s perfect and I’ll use it and think of you every day.”
“You deserve it. You’re a talented designer. Look at this room.” I wave my arm, still impressed. “It’s cinema.” I grin. “Looks more grown up than I am.”
“You’ll grow into it.”
“I don’t know. I might be having a Peter Pan moment.”
“Does that make me Wendy?”
“If Wendy is a hot superstar who lights up my world, I guess you can play her.”
“Really? I light up your world?”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t know. How loud do I have to shout when you make me—”
A laugh pops from her as she covers my mouth with her hand. “It’s not about the sex.”
“The hell you say?”
She rolls her eyes, smacking my shoulder, and I know she means it’s about feelings.
Shit. We’re going to have to talk about feelings.
But not before we make love if I have anything to say about it.
And I do.