8 | Simone #2
So instead of texting him and canceling, I found myself getting dressed for this second date—knowing I was walking straight into something I didn’t actually want. And knowing I’d eventually have to let him down. I just didn’t know how to do it without feeling like the bad guy.
The new restaurant downtown that had been trending on social media was gorgeous and full of people dressed to impress. Ryan was being his usual charming self, telling a story about his coworkers that I stopped paying attention to halfway through, but I nodded, smiling when appropriate.
Ryan was in Sales which made perfect sense.
I didn’t have a problem with him being loquacious, especially considering I was a bit of a chatterbox myself, however the more he spoke, the more I began to think he loved hearing himself speak and not actually engaging in conversation with me.
I don’t think I can really get down with that.
While sipping my drink something felt off. Like a whisper in the back of my mind that refused to be ignored.
I kept glancing around when my attention landed near the entrance without knowing why. And then I saw him.
I knew I should’ve stayed my behind at home.
Samaj walked in, tall, and slow, scanning the room while they waited for the hostess.
I blocked out the words Ryan was saying.
My heart began racing, and suddenly I forgot how to breathe.
Samaj wasn’t alone and at first glance my heart dropped, but the more I looked I realized that the beautiful petite woman with a blunt cut bob wearing an orange dress was the same lady from the family photos at his house.
He hadn’t provided me with any updates on her, so I didn’t know when she got out of the hospital or that they’d be going out tonight, but although my stomach was twisting in knots, I couldn’t justify my feelings because I was here… on a date… with someone other than him.
I froze completely.
“Simone?” Ryan leaned forward, brows pinched.
“You, okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“I—um…” My throat felt tight. “Excuse me for a second. Restroom.”
I pushed out of my seat before he could question me further. My legs felt unsteady as I quickly made my way down the hallway toward the bathrooms, heart thudding loud enough, I thought someone might hear it.
Hopefully, he didn’t see me. I wanted to check my phone to see if by chance he had tried to call or send me a text, but my phone was still in my purse back at the table.
I stared at myself in the mirror, palms pressed against the sink.
Get it together. You and Samaj are just friends.
You don’t owe him anything and he doesn’t owe you anything, but I knew I was only fooling myself.
Whatever was happening between Samaj and me even though it was new and didn’t have a title—felt like something real.
I stayed there longer than I needed to, trying to breathe, trying to process, trying not to fall apart. Eventually, I forced myself to leave. I opened the door, stepped out into the hall, and came face to face with him.
He was leaning against the wall like he’d been waiting there on purpose.
Like he knew I’d come out sooner or later.
He looked so handsome in his gray sweater and navy-blue dress pants.
His head lifted, and those brown eyes locked onto mine immediately.
I felt everything at once—shock, guilt, longing, and that ache I kept trying to outrun.
His presence alone made the hallway feel smaller. I swallowed hard, trying to gather words, any words, but my mind was blank. For a moment, neither of us moved. Neither of us spoke.
We stood there in that narrow hallway, my heartbeat pounding loudly in my ears, his eyes searching my face like he was trying to read everything I wasn’t saying.
“Simone,” he said quietly, voice low, steady in that way that always unraveled me.
Samaj pushed off the wall slowly, like he wanted to give me room but couldn’t quite step away either. His jaw flexed, subtle but noticeable, and he tucked his hands into his pockets the same way he always did when he was trying to keep his emotions controlled.
“You look nice,” he said, drawing his gaze from my cream-colored sweater dress down to my toes and back up to my face.
“Thank you.” I replied bashfully.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” His voice was soft…too soft. Like he was choosing every word carefully.
“I—yeah. Um… Ryan wanted to try this new place and…” I trailed off, my mouth suddenly dry.
He nodded once, looking past me toward the dining room. “I saw.”
That was all he said. But it landed heavy. He wasn’t accusing me. He wasn’t angry. But there was something in his eyes—disappointment, maybe even a little hurt—that made my stomach twist.
“I didn’t know your mom was out of the hospital,” I said, trying to shift the attention off me.
“She was released a couple days ago.” He shrugged.
“I told her about you.”
The way he was looking at me had me wanting to hide but also wanting to jump into his arms. He told his mom about me. That’s kind of a big deal, right?
“What did you tell her?” I asked, genuinely wanting to know.
He took a step back, putting distance between us.
“Not sure if it really matters now. Especially with you out on a date and all.”
“I wasn’t—” I exhaled, trying again. “This is not really a date. And honestly, I almost canceled tonight.”
His eyebrow lifted slightly. “But you didn’t. Is this the same guy you went out with before?”
The way he said it wasn’t cold, just matter of fact. And somehow that made it worse.
“Yeah.”
“You really got me off my game.” He said, shaking his head.
“Samaj…” I stepped a little closer to him without even realizing it. “You and I… we’re just friends, right?” I regretted it as soon as it left my mouth.
He chuckled. “Right. Enjoy your dinner.” His voice tightened just a little. I grabbed his arm just as he turned to walk away.
“That didn’t come out right. I didn’t want to assume anything or make things complicated when we haven’t even talked… about whatever this is.” I motioned between us awkwardly, still trying to plead my case.
Samaj looked at me like he was over it.
“Ok, are you done?”
That hurt, but I get it. Hurt people hurt people, and he was hurting too.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” I added quietly.
His eyes finally lifted to meet mine fully, and that’s when I saw it—the vulnerability he was trying so hard to hide.
“It’s all good.”
He said it too quickly. Too casually.
“Samaj,” I said, voice barely steady, “I’m not with him. It’s just dinner.”
He looked down for a moment, then back at me.
“Does he know that?”
The question hit harder than I expected. Before I could form an answer, he sighed and shook his head lightly, like he was trying to shake off his emotions.
“Look, Simone, you don’t owe me anything. For real. Do your thing.” Then his gaze dropped to my lips before he caught himself and looked away. “I gotta go.”
As soon as he walked away, I didn’t have time to gather my thoughts when Ryan came walking towards me. They sized each other up as they passed one another and I shut my eyes briefly wishing I could disappear.
“Hey, you were gone for a while. I wanted to make sure you were alright.” Ugh could he be any sweeter?
“I’m not feeling the best, can you take me home please?”
“Yeah, just give me a second. Let me just take care of the bill and I’ll grab your purse.”
I nodded my head and instead of going back to the table I walked straight out the door of the restaurant.