Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Skylar
After classes on Wednesday, I decided to casually drop by the vet clinic.
It had been over two weeks since the camping trip and I’d been playing it cool. I didn’t want to come off as needy or give away that I was crushing on him, not before I had a better idea if he’d be open to anything with me. He always responded to my texts, but he was crap at doing it fast enough to prevent me from stressing that I was bothering him. I carefully stayed away from trying to make plans because I’d asked him camping and it really sucked to always be the person over-enthusiastically inviting the other to do things all the time.
I went home first to shower and change into my best ass-hugging pants and a tee shirt with animals labeled with hilarious nicknames, like a raccoon with Trash Panda under it. I almost forgot a hoodie since I wasn’t used to falls like this, but the weather was changing.
When I got to the clinic, Ezra was alone behind the desk, leaning against his forearms. It looked like he was zoning out, his cell between his arms lit up like he’d just been using it.
“Hey, Ezra,” I greeted him.
His head flew up, dark hair ruffling, and stared at me super intensely.
“Hi, Skylar,” he replied after what felt like a million years.
“I, ah, just wanted to come say hi,” I said, suddenly feeling lame and stalker-y. Trying to hide it and keep things all light and totally friendly, I tacked on, “I should’ve brought Scooter with me. She needs more animal friends and Rocky is clearly the best choice.”
He straightened up and started to come around the desk, moving all smooth and intentional like some sort of animal closing in on… some other sort of animal.
Shit, I could barely think when he was looking at me like that.
Why was he looking at me like that? Was I actually dreaming right now?
Then he was right there, only maybe an inch taller than me, which I hadn’t noticed before because we’d never been this close to each other. “I’ve been meaning to call you.”
“Yeah?” I squeaked, giving him a big smile, sincere but like totally encouraging too.
His eyes darkened and I almost fainted from overwhelming excitement because I’d been in moments like this before. I knew what it was. He wanted to kiss me.
Holy shit, he wants to kiss me!!
But it would be his first kiss with another man. I knew it had to be true based on his reaction when I’d asked him if he and his best friend had had something going on during their camping trips. There had been only pure shock, no guilt or confusion or happiness. So I didn’t want to make the first move. Just because his eyes told me he wanted to kiss me, it didn’t mean his mind knew it yet, or was ready yet, or would ever be ready for that matter.
“Yeah.”
He stopped to suck in a sharp breath, but didn’t go on.
Okay, but maybe he was ready and wanted to, but he wasn’t sure how. Maybe he needed my help. Feeling like I was moving underwater, I lifted my hands in slow motion and skimmed his waist, the backs of my wrists brushing his inner forearms. My heart pounded because he didn’t move or tell me I’d misunderstood. All the little hairs on my body rose up like there was a huge storm coming and I shivered when I took hold of his waist.
“I wanted to see you sooner, but I thought you might have some things to think?—”
“I’d like to kiss you,” he murmured, gaze still fixated on me. On my mouth , precisely.
“Um, yes, please,” I blurted out.
A tiny smile curled his lips and he grazed his nose along my jaw in the sweetest, softest caress of my entire fucking life. “Okay, then,” he sighed with happy relief into my ear.
Then his mouth moved to mine and he pressed light, delightful kisses on it. I hummed in encouragement and pulled his waist nearer, angling my head subtly. His tongue flicked my bottom lip in the politest request for a deep kiss. There was no way I’d deny that request, so I parted my lips a little instead of moaning like a shameless hussy and scaring him off.
As if that was the key, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and yanked me in, his tongue plunging into my mouth to take possession so quickly and completely I almost died. It was rough and masterful, the most intense, thorough kiss of my life, and I met it move for move, desperate to show him that I wanted this just as much as he obviously did.
But otherwise I held still with herculean effort. I didn’t want to overwhelm him by arching my hips and shoving my erection into his when I knew he’d never felt that.
It wasn’t even a problem because our kisses were fucking explosive. I could do this for the rest of my life and not get tired. I might pass out, but it would totally be worth it.
With a deep groan that practically vibrated in my mouth, he began to move his hands, sliding one through my hair while the other tentatively stroked down my back. I took it as permission to move mine too, spreading my hands over his stomach and ribs, cruising around to slide up the spine knifing through the wiry muscles of his torso.
The kisses got messier and more urgent, and if we were anywhere but in the clinic’s reception area, I would’ve pushed him to the floor and rubbed all over him until we came. Little noises escaped both of us, urgent and pleased, and I finally lost some control and tipped my ass up, hoping the hand on my lower back would get the hint and grope it.
Instead, Ezra snapped back from me entirely.
I was left almost tripping forwards, shocked by his sudden disentangling.
Regaining my balance, my eyebrows furrowed and I studied him, looking for clues.
“Thank you,” he said, voice like gravel and glass in a blender together.
A weird, humorless laugh burst past my kiss-swollen lips. My stomach went from swooping to churning. Had I completely misread everything in the last five minutes?
“Um, what?” I asked.
“That was… really good. So, uh, thank you.”
Something snapped like a rubber band against my nerve endings. “I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean,” I admitted, the hurt clear in my voice. “I thought…”
“I’m not saying this right,” he said, scrubbing hands that trembled over his face, his beard rasping against his palms loudly in the quiet. “I can never say things right.”
That took the wind right out of my sails.
“Maybe I can help,” I said, and the yearning way he looked at me made my chest clench. “Are you trying to say that you don’t want to kiss me again? Or that the kiss was nice, but you don’t want to do anything more than a kiss? Or is it something else completely? If it’s something else, that’s okay, I can throw out wild guesses until we find the right thing.”
“That was my first kiss with another man.”
I told him seriously, “I know.”
He reared back and asked in horror, “Was it that bad?”
Shaking my head, I said, “It was amazing, the best.”
“That was my first anything with another man,” he said, looking a little miserable. “I just want to be clear because I know not everyone kisses while they’re, you know…”
The you know made me want to grin, but I didn’t.
“We all have to start somewhere,” I replied, reaching out to run my fingers softly through his short, dark beard, which felt as wonderful as when it’d scraped my cheeks. “But it only matters if the thing you were trying to say right is that you don’t want to start.”
His tongue darted out to swipe over his lips, but I didn’t let it distract me.
I let him think it through, and finally he said quietly, “I do want to do… more.”
“Okay!” I cheered him on. “Me too. See? We figured it out.” Spreading my arms open wide and wiggling my fingers, I asked, “Want to bring it in for a hug, kiss optional?”
“Yeah,” he murmured, coming in for a hug that felt like the best thing ever.
It was only a little bit of a bummer that he didn’t opt for the kiss.
“Well, uh, I think it’s best not to rush the you know ,” I told him, needing to tease him a little bit or I’d burst into tears and blubber that we should rush everything . “So you sit with the kissing for a while, think about what you want to do, and then you text me. Okay?”
“I’ll try not to think for too long,” he promised with that shy, sweet smile.