35. Summer
Summer
Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as I watched Penelope walk up the aisle beneath the blue sky. Her gown was white satin with a V-neck—simple and elegant. Marigold had done her hair in a low bun, leaving wavy tendrils around her face. She was radiant.
Theo watched her approach with a smile that made my heart ache. His happiness at seeing his bride was infectious, filling the air. Marlene dabbed beneath her eyes, and even Paul wore his emotions on his face, with a smile that spoke volumes.
I stood with the other bridesmaids, holding my colorful bouquet, feeling both honored to be there and incredibly out of place. The other women were Penelope’s sisters-in-law—her family. I was just Reese’s fake wife, and I wouldn’t even be that for much longer.
The ceremony began, and a warm breeze stirred the surrounding flowers, releasing their scent into the air. I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful setting than Salishan Cellars Winery. Vineyards traced across the hillsides, and the mountain peaks rose in the background.
Before the officiant had gotten very far, little Emily ran to Zachary and held up her arms. With a grin, he picked her up.
A second later, his other two nieces—toddlers like Emily—followed their cousin and ran for their daddies.
The officiant paused again so Josiah and Garrett could scoop up their daughters.
Just when I thought that was the cutest thing I’d ever witnessed, Emily reached for her uncle Reese. Surprise flashed across his face as he took her in his arms, and there were soft laughs and sighs from the guests.
My ovaries exploded.
With the little ones settled—for the moment, at least—the ceremony continued.
Nate sat in the front row, between Paul and Thomas, looking like a proper young man in a button-down shirt and tie.
He’d changed so much in the short time we’d been in Tilikum.
It wasn’t just that he was growing up—he was, faster than I could have imagined—but the sadness that had clung to him had lifted.
He sat up straighter, and his expression was on the brink of a smile instead of a sullen frown.
Tears finally spilled down my cheeks, my entire body filling with emotion. My son was starting to thrive, the specter of Mayhem no longer haunted me, and for the first time in my life, I’d found a place I could call home.
The bride and groom began their vows, and as they spoke, Reese met my eyes.
It was all I could do to keep from sobbing.
A few happy tears at a wedding were one thing—Theo and Penelope gazed at each other with so much love, half the guests were wiping their eyes—but I didn’t want to make a scene.
He held my gaze, and I wondered what was going through his mind.
Probably how to tell me he was leaving.
The growing distance between us was undeniable, and for days, I’d had the distinct sense that he was wrestling with something. He’d become quiet and pensive, and he hadn’t so much as touched me. It felt like he was preparing us both for the inevitable.
Which made watching him in a suit and tie, holding a toddler, while he stood up for his brother’s wedding almost unbearable.
The ceremony ended, and the wedding party filed out behind the bride and groom. I checked on Nate before ducking into the bathroom to make sure I didn’t have mascara running down my face—thank goodness for waterproof—and joined the guests for the reception.
Tables were arranged in a garden area surrounded by trees and flowers.
Servers passed out wine and other drinks, and a charcuterie table was laid out with an enticing array of food.
There was even a special kids’ table with crackers, fruit, and cubed cheese just for them.
Nate sat next to Thomas with Emily on his lap, and Thomas’s twin sisters giggled over cups of sparkling cider.
Melanie came over with two glasses of white wine and handed one to me.
“Thanks.” I took a sip. “Well, that was beautiful.”
“Wasn’t it? I almost burst into tears like ten times.”
“I basically did. Thank goodness I didn’t completely ruin my makeup.”
“No, you look great.”
“This is the first real wedding I’ve ever been to.”
“Really? You’ve never been to a wedding?”
“No. I don’t have any family except my mom, and she’s never been married. And I sort of skipped over the ‘bonding with female friends’ phase in my twenties, if that’s even a real thing.”
“It is for some people, I suppose. But I think most of us follow our own path, and it doesn’t always look like a sitcom.”
“Isn’t that the truth?”
Reese stood on the other side of the reception area, chatting with Luke and Zachary. Luke laughed at something Zachary said, but Reese didn’t. He seemed lost in thought until Luke elbowed him. He chuckled, but even from a distance, I could tell he was distracted.
“Are you all right?” Melanie asked.
I didn’t want to tell her that being at such a beautiful wedding was making my heart long for things it couldn’t have, and I wanted to melt into a puddle of tears. Because if I said it, I might do it.
“Yes, fine.” I took another sip of wine.
“Let me know if you need more wine or a pickle or something.”
“A pickle?”
“They’re my comfort food. It’s weird. I’m okay with it.”
I smiled at her. “I’m all right, but thank you.”
Somehow, I got through the rest of the reception. I chatted with Marlene and Reese’s sisters-in-law, held his nieces as they were passed around, and enjoyed a piece of delicious wedding cake.
Reese’s family didn’t ask whether we were still keeping up the married couple charade. Based on the way many of them glanced between us, I got the feeling they wondered. Were we still pretending, or were we on the verge of announcing a fake divorce from our fake marriage?
I was glad they didn’t ask.
Eventually, Reese asked if I was ready to go. Nate was going home with Annika’s family for another cartoon marathon, and some of the other guests had already started to leave. It had been a beautiful experience, but I was emotionally spent. Gratefully, I told him I was ready.
We drove back to Tilikum in silence. Part of me wanted to bring up the issue of when he was leaving, just to get it over with. Knowing what he had planned would make things easier. At least I could snuff out the last embers of hope that stubbornly refused to grow cold.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t seem to bring myself to ask.
When we got home, I headed straight for the bedroom. The dress was lovely, but it had been a long day in shapewear and heels. I changed into a tank top and lightweight pajama pants, and came out to let Reese know he could have the bedroom if he wanted to get out of his suit.
He’d already taken off his jacket and tie and was busy unbuttoning his shirt. Memories flashed through my mind—everything from the sight of him holding his niece, to the way he looked when he was braced on top of me in bed—and my traitorous hormones revved like an engine.
Longing mixed with desire, making my cheeks flush and my heart flutter. I didn’t know whether I wanted to curl into a ball and cry, or climb him like a tree. And in the midst of that confusing whirlwind, he slipped his shirt off and draped it over the back of a chair.
Spinning on my heel, I rushed back to the bedroom. Curling in a ball to cry it was.
I was about to throw myself onto the bed and let the overwhelming tide of emotion sweep me away, when he appeared in the doorway.
“Summer.” His voice was soft, but insistent.
Turning, I dared to meet his eyes while mine filled with tears.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I keep trying to figure out how to say this.”
The fact that we were about to have this conversation with him shirtless in all his tattooed glory added a hell of a lot of insult to injury.
“It’s okay. You can just say it. I know what’s coming.”
His brow furrowed. “You do?”
“You’re going back to Arizona. You said you’d help me get away from Axel, and you did. Nate and I will be fine. You don’t have to stay.”
“That’s not what I was going to say.”
“Then, what? Do you think Mayhem will still bother me? I guess it’s possible, but I highly doubt it.”
“No, that’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Then what is it?”
“I love you.”
My breath caught, and for a second, I couldn’t move—just blinked at him in surprise. “What did you say?”
His eyes widened, as if he was as surprised by what he’d said as I was.
“I love you. I know we’re not actually married.
That this was all for show. But none of it has been fake to me.
Not a single thing. Every time I kissed you, every time I touched you, I meant it. And I would do anything for you.”
I couldn’t get a word out around the lump in my throat. I simply stared at him in disbelief.
“I don’t deserve you,” he continued. “But I love you. Tell me to stay, and I will. I’ll stay with you and I’ll never, ever let you go.”
My voice shook. “Promise?”
“I promise.” He closed the distance between us and cupped my cheeks. “If you want me, I’ll love you forever.”
“I do want you. I love you so much, I feel like I could drown in it.”
He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tight against him as our mouths met in a deep kiss. In moments, our clothes fell to the floor, and I lost myself in the heat of his body melding with mine.
We’d slept together before, but this time was different.
His low growls of pleasure were peppered with I love yous, and he caressed me with reverence.
He loved me with everything he had, and I opened for him, drawing him deep inside me.
I clung to him while he drove me up the bed, moaning without inhibition.
I was his, and he was mine.
Our bodies moved in a steady rhythm until we were both on the brink. He paused, breathing hard, and brought his mouth to mine in a decadent kiss. I trembled, pulsing beneath him, until he thrust hard. Crying out, I burst into a million pieces as we came together, as if we were one.
When it was over, he kissed me again—soft and gentle.
“I meant it, too,” I said. “Every time.”
Brushing his nose against mine, he smiled. “I really don’t deserve any of this.”
“Yes, you do.” I reached up to brush his stubbly jaw with the backs of my fingers, right across his scar. “You’re a good man, Reese Haven. The best I’ve ever known. Sure, you made mistakes and did things you aren’t proud of. That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love.”
“You deserve that, too. Someone who’ll love you and do anything to protect you. And your son.”
“Which is why I want you. I’ve been torn to pieces lately, thinking this was almost over. Wondering how I would live without you.”
He kissed me again. “You’ll never have to. I promise.”
With happy tears stinging my eyes, I smiled. I knew him well enough to know he was a man who never made a promise he didn’t intend to keep.