Axel
The bonfire’s light flickered in the darkness, and the sound of bike engines ebbed and flowed around me. Plenty of booze, plenty of women. Gunshots popped in the distance, followed by cheers. Target practice. Probably shooting empty liquor bottles.
Everyone around me was in a good fucking mood. Drinking, smoking, getting high. Pitching each other shit around the fires. Wandering off with their old ladies or one of the groupies to fuck in a tent—or out in the open.
I hated every second of it.
Although the sun had set, the temperature hadn’t budged much. Sticky sweat made my clothes cling to me. That kind of thing never used to annoy me, but now it seemed like everything pissed me off. The heat. The bonfire. The booze. The partying around me. It was all fucking irritating.
Stryker stood nearby, talking with some of the other higher-ups in the club. Roxi stayed behind him, warding off groupies with vicious glares. Just looking at him made me seethe with resentment.
He’d told me I’d get over it. I could father an army of brats if I wanted to. I had to let the kid go. It was an order.
He was right. I didn’t need Nate. But he was also wrong. I wasn’t going to get over it.
Summer had fucked me over. And Mayhem knew it.
I saw the looks they gave me—eyes narrowed and lips curled with disdain. I’d become the guy who couldn’t control a woman. Who’d lost his kid because of it.
Taking a pull of my beer, I stared into the flames.
It wasn’t my fault. I’d taken the fall and done time for the good of the club.
Sure, they’d kept track of Summer so she couldn’t disappear with my kid before I got out.
But what had that cost them? Nothing. I’d given up my freedom for them, and what had they done for me?
Let my kid go, that’s what.
And now I had to take the fall again. It wasn’t prison. It was worse. Prison had been nothing compared to losing the respect of my club brothers.
Buzz sat down on a log nearby with a bottle of whiskey. He’d tried to claim he had my back by following me to Tilikum. He did it to keep me out of trouble. But looking at him now, all I could think about was what he knew. He’d been there when Stryker had neutered me. He’d never respect me again.
Someone tossed more wood on the fire, spraying sparks into the air. The heat beat at me, but I didn’t move. For a second, I had a vision of walking into the flames and standing there while the fire consumed me. Burned my flesh from my bones.
“Another boy.”
The voice roused me. Breaker. His old lady had just squeezed out another one of his spawn that morning. He already had three sons. Why the hell did he need another one?
“The next generation of Mayhem,” someone else said. “It’s good shit, man.”
“Didn’t Ares have a boy, too?”
“Twins. One’s a boy.”
“Fuckin’ awesome.”
My nostrils flared and I ground my teeth together. The next generation of Mayhem. The club would go on, with men who’d been raised to live by its law.
But me? I’d always be the guy who lost his own kid because he couldn’t control a fucking woman. Who’d been brought back like a dog and told to heel. And it wasn’t even my fault.
Mayhem should have had my back.
Stryker’s laugh boomed. Asshole. The more I looked at him, the more hatred festered in my gut. It was his fault.
And that was when it hit me. I’d pledged my life to Mayhem, and the club had failed me.
They hadn’t just failed me. They’d humiliated me.
Surging to my feet, I tossed the beer bottle into the fire. Disillusionment washed over me, and for the first time, I finally saw Mayhem for what it was. It wasn’t a brotherhood. It wasn’t freedom. It was a scam. And I’d fallen for it.
Who got ahead? The assholes in charge. And they did it on our backs. Guys like me. We took the fall. We did the time. We risked our asses for them. And what did we get in return? Nothing. Not unless we clawed our way up the ranks and became the assholes in charge ourselves.
I stalked around the guys I’d thought were my brothers. It had all been a lie. And I was fucking done.
Someone called my name, but I ignored them and got on my bike. The engine roared to life, and I took off, heading for the clubhouse.
A headlight in my rearview told me I was being followed. It might have just been someone heading home for the night. But I had a feeling it wasn’t.
I was right.
Back at the clubhouse, before I could get my shit together to leave, Hammer waltzed into my room.
“Going somewhere?” he asked.
“No. Just felt like crashin’. Been a long day.”
He raised his eyebrows. Didn’t believe me. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
I shot him a glare. “I’m not an idiot.”
“Didn’t say you were.”
“Can you fucking drop it? It’s over.”
“You sure about that?”
“You were there. Stryker said so.”
He regarded me for a long moment, looking me up and down. “All right, brother.”
Brother my ass. He’d never been my brother.
I wanted to rip him to pieces, but I shoved my rage down. If I attacked Hammer, I’d never make it out alive.
So I flopped into the threadbare chair next to my bed and lit a cigarette. Nothing going on. Just a guy enjoying a smoke before bed.
Hammer bought it. With a tip of his chin, he left me alone.
I waited. Smoked another. If I wanted to get out unnoticed, I needed to be patient.
It paid off. No one was around when I packed some things and headed out.
The only part of my departure that caused me true pain was abandoning my bike. If I left it, I’d never see it again.
But it was a part of a life I had to leave behind. A life that had always been a lie.
And I needed to be practical. Too easy to lose the kid if I couldn’t enclose him in a vehicle, especially if we had to stop along the way.
I left, unseen, and found a car someone had been stupid enough to leave unlocked. It was old and easy to hot-wire, and I was soon on my way.
Pieces of a plan came to me as I drove. Montana. I had an uncle out there. He’d put us up for a while. It was the perfect place to hide.
Mayhem might come looking for me. But if it came to that, I’d deal with them. And we wouldn’t stay. Montana would give us a place to start. From there, maybe we’d head to Canada.
Me and my boy. The way it always should have been.
And the best part? Summer probably knew what those pieces of shit had done to me. Roxi would have told her. Last time, I’d gotten cocky and put them on their guard.
This time, they’d have no idea I was coming.