9. Jo
Chapter 9
Jo
Third Year of Medical School
10 Years Ago, April
“ I genuinely can not believe they’re making us do this.” The bag I just chucked into the bed of the pickup lands with a small thud as I make my way around to the passenger-side door. The Taco, as we so appropriately named Isaac’s Toyota Tacoma, stands ready for our trip.
“They are not making us do this, dude. We want to, remember?” He shoots me a pointed stare while he pulls the belt across his broad chest and clicks it into place. “Plus you are literally driving me insane studying all the time. We need a break.” He pauses to plug in his phone to the car stereo system. “And I need an ice-cold beer.”
I blow air through my nostrils and turn towards the window, finding all the strength in the world to not jump right back out of the car. We have our biochemistry final exam next week. I dare you to ask me anything about the Krebs cycle. Spoiler alert, I have no fucking idea.
“Yeah, well, this break is actually going to give me a full-body stress rash, ” I huff. “ Dude.”
When Kyle invited Isaac and I to his engagement celebration barbecue, I RSVP’d no. Little did I know, Isaac told Kyle we would both be in attendance, which means we’re going together. So that’s how I ended up here, road tripping to who-knows-where Tennessee with the man I’ve had a secret crush on for two years. I know I shouldn’t be reading anything into this. We’re friends. We’ve been friends since our first day on campus, but I swear every time I’m near this man, I fall more pathetically in love with him. A cumulative six hours in the car and a weekend of social activities? Just kill me now.
Companionable silence settles through the Taco, and the lack of sleep from the last three days gets the best of me. Just one quick glance over at Isaac is enough to awaken a million butterflies in my stomach. He really is pretty, despite being the opposite of my typical male companionship.
With a soft smile on my face, I let my heavy eyelids flutter closed.
“ARMADILLO!!!!”
Sharp, stabbing pain flashes across my right eye as I bash my head against the window. “What the fuck?”
“LOOK! It’s an armadillo!” Isaac’s arm flies out in front of my face as he points towards the side of the road where a dead armadillo lays belly-up against the guard rail.
“Uhm, sir, that’s roadkill.” And I’m going to get a migraine now. Slowly massaging my bruised temple with my fingertips, I catch a reflection of Isaac’s shit-eating grin in the windshield. “Is that a thing down here? Armadillos?” Isaac’s chuckle is barely loud enough to be heard over the low hum of the engine.
“A thing down here? You act like you’ve never seen an armadillo before.” He shakes his head disapprovingly, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the song playing on the radio.
“Isaac, I literally haven’t. That’s quite honestly the first armadillo I’ve ever seen in my life. Unless they have them at the zoo, but I’m pretty sure they don’t. And if they do, I don’t remembe—” He thrusts his right arm in front of my face once more, extending his pointer finger towards the window to my right.
“ERMADILLOOOO!” Oh great, this is gonna be a thing now. His forearm makes contact with the tip of my nose as he points out yet another bit of roadkill just outside my window. Before he can retract his arm completely, he grabs my nose between two fingers and wiggles it up and down. “C’mon, we have another whole hour before we make it to Nutbush. We might as well have a little bit of fun!” I swat his fingers away and he cranks the radio dial to the right as Kansas’ “Dust In The Wind” begins playing. “All we are is dust in the wind after all!” This man is a child. A man child. A man child that I desperately want to have actual children with.
The throbbing in my head continues to worsen, prompting me to reach down into the bag between my feet. Pills rattle around in the bottle as I pull my extra-strength Ibuprofen out of the front zipper pocket. “Do we have any water in here?” Isaac reaches down with his left hand into the storage compartment of his door and launches a plastic water bottle across the front seat at me. It lands with a bounce on my lap and I trap it between my thighs while I struggle to open the child-proof lid of the pill bottle.
“You know that shit is bad for your liver, right?” I throw eye daggers at him as I pop two of the white pills onto my tongue. Mansplaining NSAIDs to me…put that in the ‘con’ category of my Isaac pro/con list. I swap out the bottle between my thighs for the water to wash down my pain relief. Before I cap the bottle, Isaac’s arm flies out in front of my face again, and water splashes down my chin and the front of my t-shirt.
“ERMADILERR!!”
Two minutes later.
“ARMADER!”
If this Ibuprofen doesn’t kick in soon, I may actually murder this man. If only that wouldn’t leave me alone in the middle of Tennessee with literal animals that sniff their own buttholes when they get scared.
“AMARILLO!”
Thirty-five seconds later.
“ERMADILDO!”
A sign for the Nutbush exit flies over the windshield and I breathe a sigh of relief. Isaac’s gaze burns my cheek, and I glance his way briefly before catching a glimpse of another road sign. I huff out a laugh, turning quickly to try to read the road sign more clearly. “Did that sign just say ‘Tina Turner Highway’?” Grabbing my phone out of the cup holder in the center console, I swiftly type Nutbush, TN into the Google search bar.
“This has got to be made up,” I laugh, reading the Wikipedia description of our destination. “Nutbush, Tennessee, population two hundred and sixty-nine.”
His face lights up with a cheeky grin, “And four hundred and twenty dead armadillos.” He playfully brushes the outside of my thigh with the back of his hand. My skin burns a bright white flame under his meaningless touch. “Let’s make the most of this weekend away, eh?”
Isaac had turned off of the main highway what seemed like ten minutes ago onto the private drive towards Kyle and Kelsey’s farmhouse. During our second month of medical school, Kelsey found out that her grandfather had left the entire family farm to her and her sister in his will. Shortly thereafter, her sister passed in a car accident, and Kelsey decided it was time to take over the business. Kyle had his own decision to make, and he chose Kelsey. They both dropped out and they’ve been here ever since.
Slowing to a stop, I unbuckle my seatbelt and grab the door handle, tugging hard. Kyle must’ve heard the crunch of the gravel because he comes hustling around the side of the house with two massive dogs tailing behind him, tongues flapping wildly in the breeze. I hop down out of the Taco and take in my surroundings while Kyle and Isaac bro it out with handshakes and side hugs. I’m not sure why, but an overwhelming feeling of sadness comes over me in that moment. The browning lawn is decorated with sprinklings of gold balloons. A broad plastic corrugated sign that will inevitably leave giant holes in the dirt reads:
KYLE AND KELSEY’S I DO BBQ
Well, that’s adorable and vomit-worthy . I stifle a chuckle as Isaac peers over his sunglasses at me with disapproving eyes. The drive, combined with the prospect of this looming barbecue, really has me in my cynic era. After everything that they went through, Kyle and Kelsey are happy. I should be happy for them, but I just can’t shake the feeling of impending doom. Or wait, isn’t that a symptom of a heart attack? Am I dying?
Isaac clears his throat next to me and lifts my duffel bag out of the truck bed. I reach my hand out to take it from him, but before I can, he’s slinging it easily over the shoulder opposite his own overnight bag. Kyle makes his way back towards the house as Kelsey steps out of the front entryway in a bright pink jumpsuit, waving excitedly. Not exactly barbecue attire, but who am I to judge? As I awkwardly adjust my extra-large Led Zeppelin t-shirt over my black shorts, Isaac takes off up the driveway towards the house. I follow towards a clapping Kelsey who immediately pulls me into a stifling hug. “I appreciate the enthusiasm, but oxygen is necessary for human life, Kelsey.”
“Cmon, Jo! It’s been too long!” Kelsey pulls back, grabs my shoulders, and shakes me gently, searching my face for signs of distress. Kyle and Isaac continue into the house and I clear my throat, trying to avoid Kelsey’s inquisitive gaze. In a hushed tone, she continues, “How was it? Tell me everything. Did he make any moves?” Her eyes dart towards the storm door, watching for any signs of movement inside.
“I mean, no, not really?” Even though I wished and hoped and prayed for a sign that things had changed between us. With Andrew out of the picture, I’m not quite sure how to handle my feelings for Isaac.
I shift awkwardly out of her grasp and pull the hair tie off my wrist. Ten whole minutes outside the car, and Tennessee humidity has already turned my pin-straight hair into a frizzy mess. I flip my head upside down and continue. “He played this stupid armadillo game the whole three hours.” Righting myself once again, I tie my long locks into a messy bun atop my head. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do today, Kels. I’m already getting a migraine.” The heartbeat behind my right eye is a blaring reminder that 1.) I haven’t eaten yet today and 2.) I’m in way over my head.
“C’mon, you need ya’ some good ol’ Tennessee barbecue.” She shakes her head and throws her arm around my shoulders, guiding me through the entryway and into the house. It’s small, but quaint—something you would expect from a couple who both dropped out of school to move onto 100 acres of farmland in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. “Kyle said the meat in the smoker should be done in a bit.”
Before I can pause to look around, Kelsey pulls me out the back door and onto a beautiful wood deck cluttered with white plastic tables and chairs. A large plexiglass sign propped up against the deck railing reads, Can’t Say “I DO” Without Some BBQ!
I’m startled as smoke billows towards the sky when Kyle opens the lid of a massive pellet smoker, seated atop what looks like a brand new concrete slab adjacent to the dilapidated garage. Isaac glances up from his spot next to the smoker and tips his already half-consumed Bud Light to me. Under my breath I mutter, “Damn, he works fast.”
Kelsey sets a bowl of potato salad in front of me on the table and hands over a large serving spoon. “Here, make yourself useful while the boys play.” She winks before scurrying away to attend to whoever just rang the doorbell.
Pair by pair, couples escape out the back door and scatter around the backyard, catching up on months of life changes and updates. I watch silently as Isaac shakes hands and smiles cordially at each new pair that Kyle introduces to him.
Kelsey pushes out the door once again, carrying a huge bowl of watermelon slices. I glare at her through squinted eyelids.
“Kelsey, a word ,” I growl, popping each syllable of her name for emphasis. Grabbing the bowl from her, I shove it into the hands of a guy I’ve never seen before. “Excuse us for a moment.” I grip Kelsey’s forearm and drag her back through the open door into the galley-style kitchen. “Kels, I swear to God. Is this a couple’s barbecue?”
She feigns innocence, throwing her hands up in the air, “I have literally no idea what you’re talking about Jo!”
“Kelsey. Don’t play with me.” I grind my teeth, willing my blood pressure not to rise. “Is everyone else here a couple?”
The glimmer in her eyes tells a story all its own, and she finally admits her plan. “Well, maybe.” She shrugs. “But if you knew that, you would have refused to come!”
“Damn right I would’ve!” I spit the words back at her in frustration. “Is everyone going to think Isaac and I are together?” Remember that feeling of impending doom from before? It’s back, with a vengeance. People have mistaken us for a couple before, but not since Andrew tried to blow up my life. I’m already embarrassed knowing that I’ll have to explain to everyone here that no, we’re not a couple, while hiding the fact that yes, I am in love with him. “You did this on purpose!”
A drop of condensation slowly meets the tablecloth from the beer I’ve been nursing for over an hour. The party has started to wind down, but the number of times I’ve been told Isaac and I make a cute couple has continued to grow. As much as I want to pout, the genuine smiles on Kyle and Kelsey’s faces have made my misery worth it. I smear the water droplets with the bottom of my beer bottle as Isaac approaches the table with a mysterious bag.
“Whatcha got there, my dude?” I attempt to sneak a peek as he plants himself in the plastic folding chair next to me.
“Well, a little birdie told me that you could use a pick-me-up.” He reaches into the canvas tote and pulls out a worn copy of Gray’s Anatomy . It couldn’t be! I gasp and grab for the book, flipping open the cover and scrolling the copyright page.
“Isaac, this is a first edition!” I yell much louder than I wanted to, and the remaining partygoers turn to examine the ruckus before continuing their conversations. He laughs, setting the empty bag down on the table next to my beer. Why the hell would he do this for me?
“Yeah, I kinda made sure of it before I sold my left kidney to get it.” I shake my head and clutch the rare textbook to my chest, trying to catch his eye.
“I’ve been looking for quite a while,” he continues. “I found it online and it just so happened to be at an indie bookstore like 30 minutes from here. I forced Kelsey to go pick it up for me after convincing her that it was actually a book and not just a TV show.”
He searched for a book. For me.
He took time and effort to give me a gift for absolutely no reason other than a pick-me-up?
Maybe I do have a chance.
Kelsey clears her throat from across the backyard. It becomes quickly evident that everyone is watching us, and my pale cheeks flush bright red. I really need to look into getting a spray tan or something.
“Okay, smarty-pants, I forgot that Grey’s Anatomy and Gray’s Anatomy were different. I dropped out of medical school, remember?” Kelsey’s tone of voice exudes playfulness and she sends a wink my way.
Kelsey and I wave from the large bay window as the last couple drives away from the house. With a huff, Kelsey slumps down into the large armchair in the living room. “What a freaking day. I am so exhausted.” Kyle scoops her up and positions her against his chest as he falls right back into the knockoff La-Z-Boy. I take a seat on the far end of the couch across the room and tuck my socked feet up underneath my butt. This is quite possibly the most uncomfortable couch I’ve ever felt.
“You need to stop sitting like that, you’re gonna get arthritis or something.” Isaac returns from the kitchen with four more beer cans tucked between his arm and chest. He tosses one to Kyle and sets another down on the coffee table for Kelsey.
“We’re all gonna sleep good tonight!” Isaac settles down on the opposite end of the couch and extends the third can to me. The combination of warmth from his skin and the cold of the can send a shiver up my arm. As I crack open the can and take a small sip, I nod my head towards our friends across the room. Isaac glances across the room and then back at me, his eyebrows furrowed in questionable concern.
Kelsey shifts awkwardly in Kyle’s lap, and I see their silent conversation occur in real time.
“So, it really is getting late…” I take another sip and stifle a burp that fights to escape. “And we’ve all had a decent amount to drink.” Isaac nods in agreement, once again glancing between me and them. He clears his throat and continues my sentiment.
“Yeah, so what the hell is going on over there, guys?” The awkward spell breaks and they both whip their heads towards Isaac with bright smiles plastered on their stupid, lying faces. I swear to God if this being a couple’s barbecue is not the only surprise today, I will go sleep outside with the armadillos.
“Well,” Kelsey speaks up quietly. “You see…” She glances back at Kyle who nods curtly. “About this sleeping arrangement...”